The Ending I Want(92)

Dancing with Liam in the rain is the last thing I have left to do with him.

My smile fades, but I still say, “Dance with me in the rain, Liam Hunter.”

Rain is trickling from his hair, down his face, catching in his long lashes, dripping off his nose. And he’s never looked more beautiful to me than he does right now.

He clears the rain from his face with his hand, and he takes me in his arms again, moving us to the music.

Our clothes are soaked, rain is splashing up my bare legs, my shoes are soggy, my hair is drenched, my mascara is probably running down my face, and I don’t care.

Because I want this moment with him.

The last list moment.

Liam’s eyes look into mine. There’s a raindrop running down his nose. I catch it with my finger. He smiles.

“I totally planned for it to rain,” he tells me. “I remembered that dance in the rain was on your list, and I thought, Well, what’s more romantic in a romantic movie moment than dancing in the rain?”

Soft laughter escapes me. “You control the weather now as well, Hunter?”

“Boston,” he deadpans, staring me in the eyes, but I see the twinkle in them, “I control everything. When will you realize this?”

I laugh again, shaking my head at him.

Then, I lay my cheek against his wet jacket. The rain has slowed, but it’s still coming down around us.

“So…Taylor?”

I lift my head when he says my name. He rarely says it when he’s not inside me, so I know what he’s about to say is important.

I catch sight of his throat working on a swallow. It makes me nervous for some reason.

“I have something I want to ask you.” He’s nervous. It’s there in the tone of his voice, in his eyes, and in the way he bites his upper lip.

My heart starts to beat faster, but my feet slow to a stop. “Okay. What is it?”

Liam starts moving us again, like he refuses to stop dancing. I go with him, but my feet feel like lead.

“Well…” He exhales softly. “I guess…well, what I want to ask is…”

He’s faltering, and I’ve never seen Liam falter before. He’s Mr. Confident. He exudes it in the way he moves, talks, breathes. But, right now, he’s Mr. Nervous As Hell, and it’s making me more nervous by the second, turning my stomach over.

Liam stops dancing, and he stares down into my eyes. “Taylor…” He blows out a breath. “Well…this is the part in the movie when the guy asks the girl to stay with him.”

“Stay?” My voice cracks on the word.

“Yeah.” He takes his hands off my body and puts them around my face. “I want you to stay here with me in London—permanently. I want this…I want you. I want to keep adding to your list. I want to fill it with new things for us to do together. I want to keep having this adventure with you, babe. The thought of you leaving and me never seeing you again…it’s inconceivable to me. I want you, Taylor. Forever.”

He wants me. Forever.

You know that moment in life when you’re faced with a decision, that crucial moment, that will change everything based on the choice you make?

There’s where I should find myself right now.

But I’m not there.

Because I don’t have a choice.

I never have.

There has only ever been one option for me.

I step out of his hold. His hands fall from my face to his sides.

“I’m sorry. I…I can’t stay with you.” I’m backing up, away from him, heading for the door.

The look on his face should stop me in my tracks. But it doesn’t.

That look on his face is one of the reasons that I have to go.

Stay, my heart whispers.

I can’t. I have to leave.

Somehow, I reach the door. I turn for it.

“Don’t go.” Those softly spoken words hit me with the force of a harsh blow.

If I turn and look at him, this will all be over. My heart will make me stay.

I can’t stay.

I’m past options now.

Because, if I do stay, I will die here. And he will have to see that.

I’ll hurt him.

I’ll be just as bad as his mother and Kate. No, I’ll be worse. Because I’ve known all along that I’m dying, and I chose not to tell him.

“Taylor,” he says my name, closer this time.

I place my heart into a steel box, and I force myself to turn to him, but I don’t look at his face.

“What’s…happening right now?” The words are soft and etched with pain.

That pain hits me hard.

“Two weeks,” I whisper, my eyes on the ground, watching the raindrops splashing as they hit the ground. “Two weeks, and that was supposed to be it.”

“I changed my mind.” His voice is deep, sure. “I fell in love with you, and I changed my mind.”

My eyes snap up to his face.

He’s in love with me.

I’ve never felt such a sensation as the one I’m feeling right now. It’s like being hugged and slapped across the face at the same time.

“No.” I shake my head, glancing at him, still unable to meet his eyes, my fingers curling around the door handle. “You weren’t supposed to fall in love.”