The Do-Over(48)

“This is the best music,” I called out. “We couldn’t help ourselves.” One of the men reached out a hand to help me onto their boat and Wes followed. Without missing a step, we fell right into our Egyptian stroll.

“I’m Wes and this is Tara,” I heard from behind me. Inadvertently, I smiled. We were being introduced as a couple.

“Jimmy. Debbie. Kelly and Richie.” The man who helped me onto the boat pointed to himself and his friends.

Soft Cell’s Tainted Love was up next and had the six of us singing on the top of our lungs as we danced under the stars. I couldn’t remember a time where I’d had so much fun with absolute strangers. Two notes into Modern English’s iconic hit, I Melt With You, Wes pulled me into his arms and following the singer’s lead, my body and lips melted against his, as we simultaneously kissed and sang into one another’s mouths.

Laughing and kissing, we continued to dance with our new stranger/friends, all singing at the top of our lungs to Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer and Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark.

“This truly is the best workout. No wonder why we were thin when we were young.” I was out of breath. “Jimmy,” I called out, “this is the best dance mix ever.” I got a thumbs up from our host, who didn’t miss a step.

“I have so much fun with you.” Wes planted a kiss on my lips that didn’t end until the last note of the song. “Let’s get outta here.” And there was that smile that stole my heart on the night we met.

Returning his smile, I nodded and we waved, bidding goodbye to our hosts.

As we stepped down onto Second Wind’s deck, Spandau Ballet’s True began. With a smile that melted my heart, Wes extended a hand, “One more before we go below deck?”

Taking his hand, I smiled back as I glided into his arms, resting my head on his shoulder. “This has been a perfect day.”

Wes kissed my forehead softly and whispered, “It’s not over yet.” His arms tightened around me in response to the shiver that wracked my body as it responded to his words. “Ooo, shivering in anticipation. I like that.”

As the song ended, I fell against him, exhausted from the long day, yet wired with anticipation at finally becoming lovers with the man who had hijacked my heart well over a decade before. I was fighting the age demon that kept swimming across my sea of consciousness taunting me with visions of what my body looked like in my twenties, before gravity, childbirth and sedentary corporate life had taken their toll. Trying to drown the little troll and exorcise it from my thoughts, twenty-something Keiko and her twelve-year old’s body were the next to invade.

Go away! Get the f*ck out of my head!

Wes must’ve felt me tensing in his arms, as his embrace tightened to comfort me. Trying to dig deep within myself, I attempted to unearth my waning confidence. You’re smart. You’re attractive. You’re a good person. You’re fun. You’re successful. You’re a great mom. And you’re freaking hot – so get the heck over it now!

“Are you getting tired?” Wes asked.

I nodded, without saying anything, and he took my hand and led me below deck and to the back cabin.

“As fast or as slow as you want to take this, T,” he reiterated, looking at me with sincere eyes.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I unlatched the sea glass necklace and gently laid it on the nightstand. “Come lie down next to me.” With faces now mere inches apart, we smiled at one another from our pillows. “I love being with you, Wes.”

The smile on both his lips and in his eyes was the perfect answer. Reaching out, he brushed my hair from my face, gently placing it behind my ear. “T, there is no better dream I could have asked for than our paths crossing again and you becoming part of my life. I feel like it was divine intervention.”

Gently, I ran my finger down the lines of his face, tracing the heartache and triumph that were finely etched around his mouth and eyes. There was nothing I wanted more than to be this man’s love, tonight and forever. But after two years of continuous disappointments, my fear was that my heart would be decimated.

“What do you want?” I asked the question haunting me.

“I want you in my life.” He didn’t skip a beat.

“As what?”

Wes shrugged. “As whatever we become.”

I laughed, “Well, that’s pretty nebulous.”

Laughing back at me, “I love that you’re smart. I’m not trying to be vague. I just want to figure this out as we go along, but if what you’re asking me is, Is this a casual fling? Then the answer is no. You’re not a fling. You’re not a rebound person. And I understand, it’s not just you. It’s Scarlett, too. And I respect that.”

With my hand still on his cheek, I drew him closer for a kiss. “I think I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself with this because I feel like this is an incredible second chance. A dream come true.”

Wes smiled at my words. “I understand.”

“And I’m just afraid I’m going to f*ck it up. Or it’s somehow going to get f*cked up and Wes, to be totally honest, I don’t know how to engage in something with you without going in with my total heart. And that scares me. There, I said it. Out loud.”

“T, you aren’t alone. I feel the exact same way. You scare the crap out of me because it is impossible not to fall in love with you. And it’s kind of a double whammy, because I absolutely adore Scarlett too and I don’t ever want to let her down. So, I get how you feel.”