The Crown (The Selection #5)(52)

“About you,” I said. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” she said in a tone that said not really. “It’s just Mark. He’s working such long hours, and now I have to work more, and it’s getting harder to keep in touch. You know, same old. Distance isn’t a big deal until it is.”

I took her hands. “Neena, the last thing I want to do is cost you the person you love. You’re a brilliant girl; you could work anywhere—”

“Are you firing me?” she whispered, looking like she might cry.

“Of course not! The thought of you leaving breaks my heart. If you can have friend soul mates, you’re mine, and I don’t want you going anywhere.” She laughed through her glassy eyes. “I just can’t bear to watch you lose something that matters so much to you.”

“I get that. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to sit back and look at your life right now?”

I sighed. “My life is a different thing entirely. And, like you said, I could do worse.”

“Eadlyn, please rethink this. There must be a better way to stop Marid.”

“If there is, I don’t have the time to wait for it. If I don’t secure my place now, I’ll either have a reign filled with people trying to usurp me and failing, or people trying and succeeding. Those options aren’t acceptable. This matters to me. I can’t compromise.”

She nodded. “Well, neither can I. And I couldn’t leave you like that.”

I took her hand, grateful, as always, for her presence in my life.

“Let me know if you change your mind,” I insisted. “If you need to leave, I could—”

I was stunned into silence by the sight of Josie coming into the office balancing a tray in her hands. She set a cup of coffee in front of Neena and one in front of me before she spoke.

“Everyone said you took your coffee with two sugars, but if it’s wrong I can go back.”

“No, no,” I said, still slightly confused. “That’s right.”

“Okay. And I was walking by the mailroom and they had these, so I figured I could get them to you.” She placed a handful of letters in the wooden in-box on my desk.

“Thank you.”

She nodded. “Also, I saw your mother this morning. She’s doing very well. I haven’t seen any of the boys.”

“Good luck hunting them down,” I said with a smile. “Thank you, Josie.”

“It’s the least I could do.” She shrugged. “I’m not busy, if you need another set of hands.”

“Neena?”

I turned, and saw she was still taking in this change. “How’s your penmanship?” she finally asked.

“Excellent,” Josie replied, beaming.

“All right, then.” And just like that, I got an unexpected addition to the office.

Fox was quiet as we walked the palace halls. It wasn’t the most exciting of dates, but the constant cloud of worry hanging over my head had sapped any creativity I had. Still, as the photographer checked the images on the back of his camera, he seemed pleased.

“It’s kind of sad that we can’t go out to a restaurant or do something fun like … Do you bowl?” Fox asked.

“No,” I answered with a laugh. “Putting on shoes that a thousand other people have worn and putting my fingers into holes with goodness knows how many germs in there?” I stuck out my tongue. “Not my thing.”

He smiled. “But it’s so fun! How can you even think about germs?”

“Osten once asked to go bowling for his birthday. We rented an entire bowling alley for the afternoon. After I realized you were supposed to wear used shoes, I couldn’t get over it. No matter how much disinfectant they sprayed in there, I wasn’t up for that. Everyone played, even Mom, but I watched.”

“That’s sad. Are you afraid of germs?” His tone was almost mocking.

I let the snub go. “No. It’s just incredibly unappealing.”

“Well, that settles it,” he said.

“Settles what?”

“If you marry me, the first order of business is putting in our own personal bowling alley.”

I laughed.

“I’m not kidding. Maybe we could do away with the studio and put it there.”

“No more Reports?” I asked joyfully. “Okay, that might be a tipping point for me. I’m on board.”

“You could design your own shoes!”

“Oooooh!” I could already imagine taking those weird shoes and making them worthy of royalty. That would be a fun project. “That’s one thing I really like about you, Fox. You’re good at lightening the mood.”

“I think we’re good, Your Majesty,” the photographer said, retreating. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I called. “Sorry about that. With things getting to the end, people really want a peek into the final four.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” he said. “I feel lucky, getting this far, getting to be with you.”

I rubbed my thumb across his hand. “Thanks, Fox. I know I’ve been busy.”

“Do I look upset? I’m on the first date with you as queen. How incredible is that?”