The Crown (The Selection #5)(51)

“I feel bad that I’ve kissed you and don’t know your last name.”

He nodded. “It’s Eikko Petteri Koskinen.”

“Eikko Pet … Petteri?”

“Koskinen.”

“Koskinen.”

“Perfect.”

“Is it okay if I call you that? Eikko? I like your name.”

He shrugged. “I only changed it because I thought it was too strange.”

“No,” I insisted. “It’s not strange.”

He looked down, toying with the blanket. “What about you? Full name?”

I sighed. “There was some debate over middle names, so it’s Eadlyn Helena Margarete Schreave.”

“That’s a mouthful,” he teased.

“It’s pretentious, too. My name literally means ‘princess shining pearl.’”

He tried to hide his smile. “Your parents named you Princess?”

“Yes. Yes, I am Queen Princess Schreave, thank you.”

“I shouldn’t laugh.”

“And yet you do.” I brushed the crumbs off my dress. “It makes me feel like I was predestined to become a brat.”

He grabbed my hand, forcing me to look at him. “You are not a brat.”

“The first time we really spoke, I corrected your manners.”

He shrugged. “They needed correcting.”

I smiled sadly. “I’m not sure why, but that makes me want to cry.”

“Please don’t. That was a good day for me.”

I questioned him with my eyes, holding on to his hand as he continued. “When you got up onto the float and you were speaking with Henri? After you were done, you looked down to let me know everything was okay. You didn’t have to do that. You were busy and in a rush, and you still acknowledged me. Even after knowing I was the type of person who bit my nails when I was nervous.”

That made me want to cry even more. “Did it start then?”

“Pretty much. And I’ve chastised myself for it every day since. But, of course, I assumed no one would ever know, least of all you.”

“I was a bit slower,” I admitted. “I think it was when you pulled me from the kitchen. You weren’t worried about what was happening, or how we might look running through a crowded room, or anything else in the world, it seemed. I was unsettled, and you brought me back to earth. So many people are in charge of keeping me in line, but no one seems to make me feel quite so normal as you.”

He swallowed. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to do that much longer.”

“You have no idea how much I wish you could.”

After a strained moment of silence, he cleared his throat. “Would you please be so kind … when this is over, would you please not contact me? I’m sure you could find me any time you wanted. But please don’t. You have been a wonderful friend to me, and so have these men. I don’t want to become the kind of man who betrays his friends.”

“And I don’t want to become the kind of woman who deceives her husband. When it’s over, it’s over.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“But nothing is over tonight,” I reminded him.

He looked down, smiling a bit. “I know. I’m trying to decide if I have enough courage to ask you for another kiss.”

I moved closer to him. “You can ask for one. Or two. Or twelve.”

And he laughed before he toppled backward, the rush of our movement knocking over his glass of wine and sending the candle flames dancing.





I GOT TO THE OFFICE a little later than I’d intended the next morning. I’d swept back my hair and dressed in a rush, but no matter how much time I spent on my face, I couldn’t seem to wipe away my smile.

It was a delicious feeling, falling in love. I’d had so many luxuries in my life, and I thought I’d had a taste of this before, but I realized now it was merely a cheap imitation of something not meant to be imitated in the first place.

I reminded myself it would end, and I’d already made my peace with it. I knew I was going to choose Kile; I’d told Eikko as much.

Kile would make me happy, and I hoped I could do the same for him. I figured at some point, once Kile knew I was choosing him, I’d come clean to him about some of this. And I knew Kile well enough to know that he’d understand if I confessed to feeling confused about the process and that kissing Eikko wasn’t something I planned, both of which were true. I didn’t want it hanging over us. Any of us.

And a life side by side with Kile was not exactly a prison sentence. He was smart, passionate, funny, charming—a dozen things a husband ought to be. He would be beloved by the people—our people—and he would stand beside me and fight Marid. He was so charismatic, he might even render Marid useless.

And, deep in my heart, I hoped there was a chance that I could learn to love him, now that I knew what that really felt like.

For the time being I had a few precious days left with Eikko, and I intended to treasure each one.

Neena tapped on my desk, bringing my attention back to the present. “Are you okay? What are you thinking about?”

“Umm …”

To be honest, I was thinking about the sound of Her Majesty Eadlyn Helena Margarete Schreave de Koskinen, and how suddenly my mouthful of names seemed like a line of poetry. But then I looked into her eyes and saw they were tinged with red.