The Breakdown(6)
hoping to prompt her into revealing what we’d decided.
‘Why would we? Everybody agreed yours was the
best idea. Plus the party’s tonight, Cass!’
The word ‘everybody’ throws me. ‘Well, you never
know,’ I say evasively. ‘I don’t suppose you want to come with me, do you?’
‘I’d love to but I’m so jet-lagged…’
‘Not even if I buy you lunch?’
There’s a pause. ‘At Costello’s?’
24
b a paris
‘Done. Let’s meet in the café in Fentons at eleven,
then I can buy you a coffee as well.’
I hear her yawning and then a rustle. ‘Can I think
about it?’
‘No, you can’t,’ I tell her firmly. ‘Come on, out of
bed. I’ll see you there.’
I hang up feeling a little lighter, pushing Susie’s present from my mind. After the news this morning, it feels a small worry in comparison.
I go back to the kitchen and sit down at the table.
‘How does that look?’ Matthew asks, swooping a plate
of sausages, bacon and eggs in front of me.
It looks like I could never eat it but I smile enthusi—
astically. ‘Great! Thanks.’
He sits down next to me and picks up his knife and
fork. ‘How’s Rachel?’
‘Fine. She’s going to come with me.’ I look at my
plate, wondering how I’m going to do it justice. I take
a couple of mouthfuls but my stomach rebels so I push
the rest around for a bit, then give up. ‘I’m really sorry,’
I say, putting my knife and fork down. ‘I’m still full after the meal last night.’
He reaches over with his fork and spears a sausage. ‘It’s a shame to let it go to waste,’ he says, grinning.
‘Help yourself.’
His blue eyes hold my gaze, not letting it shift away.
‘Are you OK? You seem a bit quiet.’
I blink quickly a couple of times, sending the tears that are threatening my eyes back to where they came from.
The Breakdown
25
‘I can’t stop thinking about that woman,’ I say. It’s such a relief to be able to talk about it that my words come out in a rush. ‘They said on the radio that the police are treating her death as suspicious.’
He takes a bite of sausage. ‘That means she was
murdered, then.’
‘Does it?’ I ask, even though I know that it does.
‘That’s usually what they say until all the forensics
have been done. God, how awful. I just don’t understand
why she would put herself at risk, taking that road at
night. I know she couldn’t have known that she’d be
murdered, but still.’
‘Maybe she broke down,’ I say, clenching my hands
together under the table.
‘Well, she must have. Why else would anyone stop
along such a deserted road? Poor thing, she must have
been terrified. There’s no phone signal in the woods so
she must have been praying that someone would come
along to help her – and look what happened when they
did.’
I draw in my breath, a silent gasp of shock. It’s as if
a bucket of ice-cold water has been thrown over me,
waking me up, making me face up to the enormity of
what I did. I had told myself that she had already phoned for help – yet I knew there was no signal in the woods.
Why had I done that? Because I’d forgotten? Or because
it had allowed me to leave with a clear conscience? Well, my conscience isn’t clear now. I had left her to her fate, I had left her to be murdered.
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b a paris
I push my chair back. ‘I’d better go,’ I tell him, busily picking up our empty mugs, praying he doesn’t ask me if I’m OK again. ‘I don’t want to keep Rachel waiting.’
‘Why, what time are you meeting her?’
‘Eleven. But you know how busy the town is on
Saturdays.’
‘Did I hear that you’re having lunch with her?’
‘Yes.’ I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, wanting
to be gone. ‘I’ll see you later.’
I fetch my bag and take the car keys from the hall
table. Matthew follows me to the door, a piece of toast
in his hand.
‘I don’t suppose you could pick up my jacket from the
cleaner’s, could you? That way I can wear it tonight.’
‘Sure, have you got the ticket?’
‘Yes, hang on.’ He fetches his wallet and hands me a
pink ticket. ‘It’s paid for.’
I slip it into my bag and open the front door. Sunlight
streams into the hall.
‘Take care,’ he calls as I get into the car.
‘I will. Love you.’
‘I love you more!’
*
The road into Browbury is already heavy with traffic.