The Breakdown(31)

She reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze. ‘Her death has really affected you, hasn’t it?’

I nod miserably. ‘I know I only had lunch with her once but I know we would have become good friends,’

I say. ‘And I hate that they’re saying she had a lover. I don’t believe it for a minute. She couldn’t stop talking about her husband, about how wonderful he was and how lucky she was to have him. I bought a card to send to him – would you be able to find his address for me?’

‘Yes, of course, I’ll ask around at work.’ She nods at the newspaper I just bought. ‘Did you see the picture of the knife? It’s horrible.’

‘Don’t,’ I say shakily. ‘I can’t bear to think about it.’

‘You’ll feel better once you have an alarm installed,’

she says, shrugging off her red cardigan and putting it on the back of her chair.

‘We have one. It was put in on Friday’

She reaches for her glass and her silver bangles, released from the constraints of sleeves, jangle together. ‘Can you put it on when you’re in the house?’

‘Yes, I can alarm the windows and any of the rooms I want.’

‘And you still don’t feel safe?’





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‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I keep getting weird calls.’ My words come out in a rush.

She frowns. ‘What sort of weird?’

‘Silent. From a withheld number.’

‘You mean there’s no one there?’

‘No, there is someone there, they just don’t say anything. It’s really creeping me out.’

She thinks for a moment. ‘These calls – how many have you had?’

‘I’m not sure, five or six? There were two this morning.’

She does a sort of double take. ‘And that’s what’s upset you? A few calls from a withheld number? Cass, I get loads of those! Usually it’s someone trying to sell me something or wanting feedback on something I’ve bought.’ She thinks for a moment. ‘I take it these calls are on your house phone?’

‘Yes.’ I fiddle with the stem of my glass. ‘I can’t help wondering if it’s personal.’

‘Personal?’ Rachel looks uncomprehendingly at me.

‘Yes.’

‘Come on, Cass, it’s just a few calls. I don’t get why they’ve upset you so much.’

I shrug, trying to make light of it. ‘I guess it’s Jane’s murder – you know, happening so close to home.’

‘What does Matthew think?’

‘I haven’t told him.’

The Breakdown





113


‘Why not?’ The concern in her eyes makes me decide


to confide in her.

‘Because I’ve done a couple of stupid things lately and I don’t want him to think I really am crazy,’ I admit.

She takes a sip of wine but her eyes don’t leave mine.

‘What sort of things?’

‘Well, first I forgot I’d invited Hannah and Andy round for a barbecue. I bumped into Hannah in Browbury the day I met you for a drink in the Sour Grapes…’

‘I know,’ she says. ‘I remember you saying that’s why you were late.’

‘I already told you?’

‘Yes. You told me that you’d invited them for a barbecue because you hadn’t seen them for a while.’

‘Did I say when I’d invited them for?’

‘Yes, you said you’d asked them for the Sunday, so that weekend.’

I close my eyes, take a breath. ‘Well, I forgot,’ I say, looking at her again.

‘Forgot?’

‘Yes. I forgot I’d invited them. Or didn’t realise I had, I’m not quite sure which. Andy phoned in the morning to ask what time we were expecting them, so we managed to avoid the embarrassment of them turning up and there being nothing to eat. But that’s not all. I also managed to order the alarm system without remembering anything about it. I filled in the form, signed it, everything – yet I wasn’t aware that I had.’ I look at her across the table. ‘I’m scared, Rachel, really





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scared. I don’t know what’s happening to me. And because Mum—’

‘I don’t understand about the alarm,’ she interrupts.

‘What happened, exactly?’

‘Do you remember, when we met in the Sour Grapes I told you that I’d had a man from an alarm company round to give a quote?’

‘Yes, you said he spooked you or something.’

‘That’s right. Well, when Matthew got back from the rig last Friday, he found the man waiting on the doorstep. So Matthew told him we’d never agreed to have an alarm fitted, but the man pulled out a form signed by me.’

‘That doesn’t mean anything,’ Rachel interrupts. ‘He could have forged your signature. There are a lot of cowboys out there.’

‘That’s what I thought at first. But it wasn’t just the signature, Rachel, it was all the rest. The whole form had been filled in, and it was definitely my handwriting.