The Best Possible Answer(62)
“Good,” Virgo says. “Finally.”
I laugh. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Virgo says. “It’s just—you’ve made an impression on him.”
I’m not sure if he means the photo or me, but I don’t ask him.
Instead, I walk over to Evan.
“Hey. We need to talk.”
Evan throws a chair on the stack and looks at me. “Okay. Now?”
“Yes, now,” I say. “I know you saw the picture.”
“Okay. I did. But—”
“And I don’t know what you think of me, but frankly, I don’t care. I mean—I don’t care if you’re judging me or whatever.”
“I’m not—”
“This is who I am. I am honest, unlike my father. And when I am in love—which I was with Dean—I am honest with my love, as well. It was an absolutely honest photo that was meant to be shared only with him. Maybe I’m too trusting, but I can’t change that about myself, as much as I’d like to.”
“I’m not judging you. I don’t care about that photo. I don’t care about any of that.”
“You don’t?”
“No, Viviana. I like you. That’s it, okay? I like you. And I’d like us to get to know each other better. Maybe hang out more. Maybe kiss more in normal places and without it ending in you yelling at me.”
“Oh,” I say. I take a seat on a lounge chair. “I like you, too. I guess that’s why I’m telling you all this.”
He sits down next to me. “Would you like to hang out sometime, maybe Extreme Ping-Pong or Extreme Billiards or something like that?”
“Does it have to be extreme?”
Evan laughs. “Not at all.”
“Then yes.” I nod. “I’m in a weird, fragile place right now. But I’d like that.”
“Great.”
“Are you free right now?”
I hear a voice above. I look up at Bennett Tower. Professor Cox is on his balcony. He’s singing “The Ants Go Marching”; his uneven voice echoes over the city. Virgo steps out of the office and joins in; his voice overtakes Professor Cox’s. It’s deep and beautiful, even while he sings a silly child’s song.
I scan the tower. My mother is upstairs on the sixteenth floor, probably studying for her law exam and cooking for Mila and me. I expect Sammie’s also home by now, packing up her room. I imagine the O’Briens with their fondue and Mrs. Woodley with her younger man.
“I am,” I say. “I am free.”
I’m free to live my life and love my life any way I want, as long as it’s with kindness and honesty and an open, trusting heart.
I see that now.
That it’s my life to live.
And mine alone.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
For me, each book begins with a question. Along the way, that question breeds other questions, and I am seriously one lucky girl to have so many people I can go to for answers.
Courtney Miller-Callihan at Handspun Literary! (Woot!) Thank you for your friendship and your guidance. We are one lucky (not-so-secret) club to have you as our leader.
So much gratitude to Rose Hilliard, for believing in me and for asking me to follow this story. It’s been the greatest pleasure to be cheered on and guided by you over these past two years. Thank you for everything.
Many thanks to everyone at St. Martin’s Press, including Brittani Hilles, Angelique Giammarino, Brant Janeway, Jen Enderlin, Anne Marie Tallberg, David Curtis, Talia Sherer, Anne Spieth, Karen Masnica, and Jennie Conway.
Dana Kaye, thank you for guiding me through my debut year.
To my beta and sensitivity readers: Matthew Frey, my first reader, always (plus you get to be listed twice!), Nicole Brinkley, Karlyn Westover, Jessica Love, Ron Romasanta, and Anna Davis. Thank you, Julie Caplan Nuzzalo, Psy.D., for your expertise, insights, and suggestions.
My soul sisters: Kate Eberle, Aimee Kandelman, and Kara Noe, for our four million daily texts. So many questions, so many (usually right) answers. I’ll always ask you first.
All of my amazing writing friends (you know who you are). These last two years. Oh, boy. Thank you for letting me cry and telling me to breathe and making me laugh and hugging me hard. Seriously, thank you. Without you, I’d be lost. Special thanks to Jessica Love, Charlotte Huang, Amy Spalding, and Laurie Elizabeth Flynn for reading this book early and lending your support. (P.S. Amy: thanks for the weekly check-ins!) Special thanks to L. M. Klein and the Binders for coming up with the best possible title.
Christy Marsden, I’ll never stop thanking you.
To everyone at Pasadena City College. There are too many people to list here, which means that I am ridiculously blessed. And I must thank my students. You’re the ones who keep me learning, writing, and laughing, so thank you. Deborah Bird, Salomon Davida, and Sandy Lee for our work with DesignTech! You’ve taught me so much. And to Amy Ulmer, Vanitha Swaminathan, Sam Swaminathan, Kathleen Green, and Terri Keeler, for your constant enthusiasm and support.
To all of the readers, librarians, teachers, booksellers, bloggers, and fans who have reached out and supported my writing. Again, I am truly, ridiculously blessed.
To my family, for surrounding me with love: Ray Elias, Shirley Mann, Chuck Bush, Karnit Galmidi, and Michael Braun. Mom and Dad, wherever you are, I know you know.