The After of Us (Judge Me Not #4)(36)

Clearing my throat, and getting a grip, I say, “So, I’m assuming it went well, yes?”

His eyes flicker to my face. “What went well?”

Ah, I have him flustered. Good.

“Your meeting with Chase, of course.”

“Oh.” Will leans forward and sets his wineglass on the coffee table. “Yes, it went really well.”

“So, are you going to take the job?”

Will nods. “Yeah, I think so. But I told Chase I only want a couple of days a week. Nothing more. I still plan on looking for some freelance work.”

“Oh, that’s right,” I say as I suddenly recall Will’s one-time dream. “Does that mean you still have plans to have your comic book published?”

Will’s brows go up in surprise. “You actually remember me telling you that, all those years ago at the reception?”

I smile at him. “Yeah, actually I do.”

Will reaches for his wineglass and takes a small sip. “If I do go that route, I think I’d want to turn my comic book into a graphic novel first. But yeah, bottom line is I still hope to see it in print someday.”

“I’d like to see your work.” I pause. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

Will actually blushes, melting me further. I suppose I do like him more than I should. Hell, I know I could fall for him. Completely, if he’d let me.

“Yeah, sure,” he says. “I’m flattered you’re even interested in taking a look at the things I’ve drawn.”

“Of course I’m interested, Will.”

Our eyes meet and a million unsaid things pass, but then he looks away. “Can I ask you something, Emma?”

“Yes, of course.”

Will downs the rest of his wine and sets the glass on the coffee table, this time with a loud clink. “Why were you waiting to have sex?”

I blow out a breath. “I don’t know. It wasn’t some great moral decision, if that’s what you’re thinking. I had dozens of chances at college with the various guys I dated. But, I don’t know… I guess none of them seemed worth it. I was probably, stupidly, waiting for someone special to come into my life.”

“And he never came around?”

Carefully, I reply, “No, not back then.”

“Emma,” Will says on a sigh. “I have a lot on my plate right now—”

“I know, Will”

“Just hear me out, okay?” I nod, and he goes on. “Not only am I taking care of a daughter I never knew existed, but I’m back to searching for a job in my field. The recruiter who landed me the job in New York City handed me off to another recruiter, one who can hopefully find me a few freelance advertising gigs. Still, it’s going to take some time, especially for me to get my name and work out there. That’s why I took the job with Chase. I may have a trust fund, but I can’t sit around all day and do nothing.”

I drink down the last of my wine, hoping to build up some courage. “Look, Will,” I say, twirling the stem of the empty wineglass between my fingers. “You were the one who came to my door the other night. You asked for a second chance. You were the one who said you wanted to see where this thing between us might go.”

“Yes, I did all those things.”

“So, what changed?”

He can’t look me in the eyes when he says, “It just felt different, you know…after we had sex.”

I scoff in reply, “You mean after you found out it had been my first time.”

His eyes flitter over to me for an instant. Then, he’s back to staring down at his hands. Quietly, he says, “It suddenly seemed like things were moving way too fast. You know, like maybe you were about to expect a lot from me.”

“Will, please.” I am sure to make my annoyance known.

Still, he goes on. “Look, I know it makes me sound like a prick, but I just don’t have that much to give you right now.”

He’s not entirely wrong in his perception of what I want from him. My feelings for him are intense, and I’d love it if he felt the same way. Maybe in time? For now, though, I don’t want to scare him off.

Grasping at straws to keep this thing between us alive, I tone down the intensity of my feelings, and say, “I think you read it wrong, Will.”

He raises a brow. “I did?”

“Uh-huh. Just because I was looking for Mr. Right in college doesn’t mean that’s how I feel now. I told you, I was just sick of waiting.”

“Oh.”

He sounds miffed. Doesn’t feel so good to be used, does it, Will?

“I just went with the flow the other night,” I continue. “You can’t deny there’s an intense chemistry between us.” He nods, agreeing, and I add, “Well, it got the better of us both, and what happened, happened.”

Skeptically, Will asks, “That’s really how you see it? That cut and dry?”

“Yes,” I fib.

He exhales in what I suspect is relief, and my heart suffers the blow. Shit, he’s glad. I obviously like Will way more than I should. Too bad my feelings for him aren’t so easily turned off. And if I sleep with him again, forget it. I will end up falling for him completely. Crap.

Lucky for me, my heart is spared when Will says, “Still, I think we should slow things down considerably.”