The Absence of Olivia(44)

“Well, I guess I better go.”

“Do I need anything specific for tomorrow?”

“Nope. Just some good shoes, a bottle of water, and sunscreen.”

“Okay, I can manage that.”

“Great. I’ll see you at nine.” He ran his hand through his hair again, as if he knew I liked it so much, then pushed the door open and disappeared through it. I watched him leave but then sagged in relief when he was gone. It took a lot of energy to be in a constant state of awareness, to be completely in tune to the fact that your heart was beating quickly, that there was a strange tingling sensation in your belly, to know at all times where your hands were, because all you wanted to do was run them through his soft, brown hair. However, before I could relax for too long the door opened again. Luckily, for my nerves, it was only Shelby.

“That didn’t take long,” she said as she waltzed into the gallery portion of the space.

“What didn’t? And where did you go? I thought you left.”

“I went and sat in my car. I was trying to give you some privacy. I was hoping you two would go at each other after I left. But, judging on how quickly he left after me, I’m guessing nothing exciting happened.”

“Are you for real?”

Shelby raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. “Evelyn, when is the last time you were with a man?”

I scoffed at her, pretending to be offended by her question when, in reality, I was a little embarrassed. “First of all, that’s none of your business. Second, even if it had been a while, that doesn’t mean I’m just going to throw myself at the first man I’m left alone with.”

“Hey, I’m not trying to offend you. He was obviously here because he’s attracted to you.”

“He was not.”

“Did he ask you out?”

“Maybe.”

“See. He likes you. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here, Evie.” Her tone took on a sympathetic, softer timbre. “It’s okay to be attracted to someone, to be interested in someone. This is the natural progression of life. You need to start living again.”

Her words were meant to be friendly, to help alleviate some of the fears she’d picked up on, but the word living only made me remember Olivia was dead. Those moments, when her loss of life crept up on me, when all of a sudden the loss was so deep and dark, in those moments, I felt as if I were drowning. How do we all just go on? How do I move past her death without leaving her behind? There were so many questions to which the only answer was sadness. The only possible outcome of the questions running through my head was devastation.

“Hey,” Shelby said, moving toward me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Olivia would love for you to find someone to be happy with.”

I knew she was right – mostly. Olivia would have enjoyed watching me date again, would have taken great joy in helping me get ready for a date, listening to me recount the entire date over the phone when it was over, dissecting every detail until we were both crazy with anticipation. Unless, of course, the person I was with was her husband. I shook my head, trying to erase that particular thought from it.

“Sometimes,” I said softly, trying to ignore the pinching in my throat and the stinging in my eyes, “moving on with my life only reminds me that she lost hers.”

Shelby’s hand moved up and down my arm, trying her hardest to make me feel better, but nothing she could say or do would ease that particular pain. I’d been told time would be the ultimate healer, but I was still waiting.

“I’ll be okay,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster. “Let’s go pick out a frame for this beast,” I said, motioning toward the large print.





Chapter Thirteen


Present Day

The next morning, I sat at my desk, trying not to glance at my phone every twenty seconds for the time. I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. It’s just a hike, Evelyn. He’s just a man, and it’s just a hike. At three minutes past nine, my knee was bouncing and my heart was racing. Oh God, my palms were sweaty. I heard the door open and glanced over to see Nate walking through it. My heart, which was used to speeding up in his presence, decided in that moment, it was necessary to stop altogether. His soft-looking brown hair was mussed and sexy, pushed back away from his face, which only made his prominent jaw that much more attractive. The gray of his t-shirt made his eyes look like clear, blue water. He was wearing khaki colored cargo shorts and I’d never taken a moment to consider men’s calves sexy, but damn, his were. Every single thing about him, on its own, was attractive, but when put all together in the whole package, he was sinful.

To top it all off, he held out a cup of what appeared to be iced coffee.

“I brought this for you,” he said, smiling his crooked smile that immediately restarted my heart. “I figured you had to have gotten up early if you were planning on working before our hike. Thought you could use a little caffeinating.”

I stood and walked toward him, took the cold cup of coffee, and smiled – as if I could have stopped myself. “Thank you. That was thoughtful.”

He shrugged and then I could have sworn I saw a tiny blush creep over his face. “It was nothing.” God, he was cute. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yup, all ready.” I grabbed my water bottle and camera, then we walked out and I locked the door behind me. He’d driven his work truck, and I wondered if it was the only vehicle he had. Once we’d settled and he’d started the engine, I asked him a question to avoid falling into awkward silence.