The Absence of Olivia(39)

I walked back to his bedroom and saw him lying on his back on the bed, much like Olivia had been – arms sprawled out, eyes glued to the ceiling. I crawled onto his bed, my dress inching up my thighs as I made my way to him, and found my usual spot, my cheek on his chest, his arm coming to naturally curl around me, holding me close.

“Nothing’s changed,” I whispered, pressing my face in closer to him, unable to say the words with any kind of conviction. I couldn’t shout them, couldn’t plead with him to believe me; all I could do was whisper my half-truth to him. When he rolled toward me, his hand finding the side of my face, eyes level with mine, all I could do was lean forward and press my mouth to his to stop any words he had for me. He didn’t push me away, didn’t try to say anything more to me. And even though he was drunk, and we’d had a tumultuous past hour, I let him make love to me – it was the least I could do.





Chapter Twelve


Present Day

It was Monday morning and Devon had left the house without saying one word to me. He also went out of his way to leave the house in a way in which he wouldn’t have to walk past me. Which meant he walked through the backyard, opened the back gate, and climbed over the pile of firewood kept at the side of his house in order to go to work without having to see me. It was ridiculous, but most of me was glad he’d gone the extra mile.

I had no idea what I would have said to him if he’d had big enough balls to face me. I was certain, however, that I would more than likely pretend as if nothing had ever happened between us, just like I’d been doing for ten years now.

After I’d snuck back into his house on Friday to get my camera, after I was certain he’d left and the house was empty, I’d spent the weekend in my car, driving until something caught my eye. I’d stopped when I wanted to, photographed my temporary muse, then pack up and move along. I drove all day Saturday until it was dark and my eyes were tired. I stopped at a run-down motel, slept on top of the scratchy covers, and woke up on Sunday ready for another day. I took a different route back home, stopping again whenever I felt like it.

I knew I had to be home in time to get to Devon’s house Monday morning. I knew, even though there were a million other places I’d rather be than there, the kids needed me and my conscience would be shouting at me if I’d abandoned them. Liv asked me to do one thing – to help take care of her family. So, no matter how upset I was with Devon and myself, I would be there for the kids.

The kids hadn’t mentioned anything unusual and didn’t seem like they knew anything was off between Devon and me, so I tried to act as normal as possible.

I was herding both kids toward the door, mentally counting backpacks and lunch boxes, making sure they both had everything they needed for their day. I heard the door open just as I grabbed my purse, but was surprised to hear Jaxy’s voice say, “Hello, there. You must build stuff. Bob the Builder wears the same belt.”

My head snapped toward the door, heart pounding, but then a wave of relief rolled through me when I saw Nate on the other side of the door, tool belt and all.

“I do build stuff. I tear stuff down too.” Nate’s voice was soft and gentle, his words said with a smile. “In fact, I’m here to look at your house where all the water was.”

“You mean the room that flooded? It’s kind of smelly in there,” Jaxy said, scrunching up his nose. “And we’ve had loud fans on all weekend.”

“I’m here to fix that too,” he said, laughing. “Good morning, Evelyn.” His eyes found mine as he spoke, his eyes a little more cautious with me than they were with Jax. “Is now a bad time to take a look at the damage?”

“We’re going to school,” Ruby supplied, her tone a little unfriendly, which caused me to frown.

“We are, actually, headed out the door to get them to school.” I said, a little surprised by my own disappointment. “But,” I said, hoping to stall him, “I could be back in a half hour. Any chance you can come back then?”

A smile spread over his face slowly as he nodded. “Sure. I’ll just go grab a coffee.” He paused then, and I saw indecision sweep across his face. Moments later, it changed to a more hopeful expression. “Can I bring you anything?”

There was no way for him to know that it had been months, possibly years, since someone had asked me if they could do something for me. It shouldn’t have mattered that much, shouldn’t have shifted something inside of me as significantly as it did, but I couldn’t help the emotions his simple question evoked.

“That would be great. Just an iced coffee, please.” My voice was slight and tiny, all I could muster without letting more show in my words than I would have liked.

“Got it. See you in a half hour.” He nodded slightly, then backed away before turning and heading toward the big truck parked at the curb which I assumed was his.

“Let’s go guys,” I said to the kids, urging them through the door.

“Who was that?” Ruby asked.

“The man who’s going to fix your house,” I replied as I shut the door behind me.

“He looked at you funny,” Ruby said with her usual snarky tone.

“He did not.”

“He was cool. I like all his tools,” Jax remarked, doing his typical skip-walk down the path toward the sidewalk. We all turned, heading toward the corner where the bus would pick up Ruby. As we waited, the kids seemed to forget about Nate, talking instead about their exciting plans for summer vacation, which was coming up quickly. I silently wondered what Devon had planned for the summer. I certainly couldn’t spend all day with the kids. Spending the mornings and evenings with them was stretching my abilities as it was. My job was already suffering; I couldn’t stay with the kids full time without giving up my career completely.