The Absence of Olivia(32)

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m not sure how I feel about it though.”

“Well, I don’t want to miss an opportunity to evaluate your relationship, but we’ve only got a small window of boy-less time, and I kind of need your help with something.”

“Okay,” I said instantly, not missing the way her voice, which had been happy and carefree since she’d arrived, was now serious and sullen.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a small paper sack. She didn’t even have to open it for me to know what was inside. There were only two reasons a girl in college had anything in a small paper sack, and this wasn’t an occasion for condoms.

“You think you’re pregnant?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant. This test is a formality, really.” She said those words with not one bit of emotion, which was worrisome. If I thought I was pregnant, with any semblance of conviction, you could bet I would be hysterical.

“How late are you?”

“About four weeks.”

“You’re a month late?”

She nodded. I moved to sit next to her on the love seat. “Why haven’t you told me? Or taken the test sooner? If you’re four weeks late, that means you’re eight weeks pregnant, Liv. That’s, like, really pregnant.”

“I know. I guess I was just hoping… ugh, this sounds terrible. I was hoping that I would become unpregnant.” I thought about her words for a moment and completely sympathized with her. “I didn’t, like, do anything to try and end the pregnancy, I guess I was just hoping it would go away on its own.”

I reached up and rubbed my hand down her back.

“I’m guessing you haven’t told Devon?”

“Nope.”

I wanted to ask her why not, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that she truly believed she was pregnant with his baby. “Well, do you want to get it over with?”

She let out the longest and loudest sigh I’d ever heard, but then popped up off the couch and headed toward the bathroom.

“Do you want me to come with you?” I wasn’t sure what best friend protocol was in this situation. Was I supposed to be in the room with her? Hold the stick? Hold her hair back? I didn’t know, but I’d do anything she wanted.

“I can pee by myself, but if you could just be here when I come out, that’d be great.”

“Of course.”

Minutes ticked by and I was about ready to beat the door down when, finally, it opened. She came out, holding a little white stick in her hand any woman over the age of sixteen could identify from twenty feet away. She was only two feet out of the door when she lifted her eyes and found mine across the room, a depressingly sad smile across her face, as if she were trying to appear like she was happy.

“Can my kid call you Auntie?”

I rushed to her just in time to feel her body start to shake with sobs. We stood in my new apartment, a pee stick between us, and I held her as she came to realize her life would never be the same.

Thankfully, the guys made the longest beer and pizza run known to man, and by the time they returned, Liv was able to put on a good game face. She didn’t know when or how she was going to tell Devon, and I couldn’t offer her any advice. Had not one word of encouragement. I knew if I was pregnant, I would be completely broken. Devon and Liv had only been together a year, and now, a baby. We ate pizza, I declined beer as a sign of solidarity with Liv, and after we’d watched a movie, Liv and Devon left.

I exhaled loudly as I rested my back against the door. I felt terrible for Liv, but couldn’t help but be thankful it wasn’t me. And that thought proved me to be a horrible friend.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Elliot asked, still sitting on the couch, one ankle resting on his other knee.

“What do you mean?” I replied, standing up straight and walking past him into the kitchen.

“I mean,” he said as he stood, following me, “the two of you were acting weird ever since we got back. What’s up?”

I was torn. I wasn’t used to keeping secrets from Elliot, but this was huge and not just normal gossip. “I don’t think I can tell you yet.” I picked up a dishtowel and started worrying it between my hands.

“Babe, you can definitely tell me. Whatever is wrong, I’ll help you however I can.”

His concern was evident and that only made me feel even guiltier for worrying him. “It’s not me; it’s Liv.”

He frowned and his brow furrowed, and I knew he’d figure it out. When he did, I saw the shock come over his face. “She’s not…”

“Yeah. Pregnant. Took the test while you guys were out getting pizza,” I sighed and tossed the dishtowel on the counter, dropping my head into my hands and massaging my temples. When I felt his body right in front of mine, I instinctively leaned into him, resting my forehead on his chest. His fingers found a soothing rhythm up and down my arms. I gripped his shirt and tipped my head up to look him in the eyes. “You cannot tell anyone, especially Devon. Promise.”

“Of course,” he said before kissing my forehead. “Are you all right? This changes pretty much everything.”

“I’m trying not to think about that.”

He was quiet for a moment, steadily running his hands along my skin. “How did they even let this happen? Didn’t they use protection?”