Tank (Moonshine Task Force Book 2)(43)
My leg bounces up and down with barely restrained anger and I’m doing my best not to take everything out on her, but fuck if I’m not pissed. “No it’s not what I want, but I want you to get it through your thick head you could have died!”
“Same with you!” Her voice is high-pitched before she bites her lip and blows out a calming deep breath. When she speaks again, she’s more in control of her emotions. “Help me understand, Trev. You know what I saw, because I told you. To be completely honest, I don’t remember a whole lot about that day,” she grabs my beer and takes a drink. “All I knew was I didn’t want to die, and I was praying to God to let me go home that night.”
She’s asking me for something I don’t know that I can give her. I’ve tried with everything in me to forget that day, but somehow if I close my eyes, I can take myself back to those mind-numbing moments like they were yesterday.
“You were wearing the uniform you hate. The one you accidentally shrunk a little in the chest when you washed it. You know, the one that gapes at the buttons. Your hair was curly and you had a braid going from the left side in the front to where it ended on the right at your shoulder. That day you’d lined your eyes with that black shit you like to use, and it made the green in them pop,” I speak almost robotically. “I know because I looked into your eyes the entire fucking time I stood to the side and let someone else save you because they had the hostage negotiation training,” I turn around so I’m not facing her anymore, putting my hands on my hips. “When all I really wanted to do was un-holster my gun and put one right between his fucking eyes for putting the fear in yours.”
I shove my fingers through my hair and hold the back of my scalp as the memory hits me like a brick in the chest.
Holden’s voice comes over the radio. “There’s a domestic situation at 1345 Main Street. EMS is on scene trying to administer to a patient having an episode. Call just came in that the man has taken a female medic hostage. Sources at the scene say there is a gun involved. Whoever can respond, please do so with extreme care in mind. Myself and a negotiator are in route.”
My pulse pounds in my throat as Ryan and I glance at one another.
“It wouldn’t be Blaze, would it?” He questions, holding on as I take a turn a little too fast.
“Could be,” I answer between clenched teeth. “She’s on shift today, and when I texted her about thirty minutes ago, she didn’t answer. Normally when she doesn’t answer, she’s busy.”
We’re both quiet as we take in the fact one of our own could be in danger. We work a lot with EMS, and they work a lot with us. In our occupations, you watch out for one another, and we’re all incredibly close when it comes down to it. None of us wants the others to hurt, and those EMS men and women are there for us in some of our darkest hours. This job isn’t easy, and every once in a while, someone gets hurt. It’s up to them to put us back together or to keep us calm until we can get to the hospital. I imagine it isn’t easy for them to administer to us, but they do, and I have the utmost respect for them.
But what I have right now is the worst fear I’ve ever felt in my heart for my girlfriend. We made it official a few weeks ago. I let a small smile spread across my face. I haven’t had a girlfriend in fucking years, but there’s something about Blaze, she gets me like no one else ever has. I’ve kept quiet about it for the most part because I’m scared to jinx it. The only people who truly know what’s going on between us are my sister and my best friend.
As I pull our squad car up to the house, I see where the ambulance has parked. Logan, Blaze’s partner, is standing next to the open back doors of the bus, talking to someone. They’re blocked by the angle it’s sitting. Both Ryan and I make sure we have our vests on before we try to make contact. It’s then I see the department’s hostage negotiator, sitting his gun down on the pavement. As we get closer, I can make out his words.
“Leonard, you don’t need this woman. Let her go and we can talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. But we can do that without her.”
My blood goes cold and immediately the adrenaline flows through my body. I’m not sure what I thought when I didn’t see Blaze. Maybe she was in the back, tending to another patient or sitting in the driver’s seat, getting ready for them to take off? I move closer to get a look at what’s going on, and my heart stops.
There’s the woman I made love to not twelve hours ago, standing on the sidewalk with an arm wrapped around her neck, a man holding her back to his front and the barrel of his gun resting against her temple. I lose my breath and damn near almost lose my mind. Ryan grabs my vest as I make a move to go toward her.
“Don’t even think about it. He’ll put her down before you can get there.” His voice is low in the tense atmosphere.
“How am I supposed to sit here and watch this?” I can hear the pain, the frustration in my voice. “I was a goddamn sniper. They need to let me take this guy out.”
“If this can be resolved peacefully, that’s what needs to happen,” Ryan argues, playing devil’s advocate.
I hold back what I want to tell him. Starts with kiss and ends with my ass. He isn’t in my position, doesn’t know how I feel, and can’t even begin to fathom it right now. I’m trying very hard to keep my shit together, but it won’t take much for me to explode.