Taming His Montana Heart(37)

“Tall as you are,” she made herself say to Daron, “I’m not sure I could make good on that particular threat. Besides, I figure you know better than to treat something new like it came from the junk yard.”

Because he still looked confused, she explained about the new machines. She expected Daron to be excited. Instead he studied the snow-laden clouds.

“What is it? Are you thinking I won’t let you try them out? I trust you to—”

“It isn’t that. I wish I was eighteen.”

“Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. Believe me, adulthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Once you’re there, there’s no going back.”

He stuck out his tongue and captured a few flakes. “If I was eighteen I could get out of here.”

The truck that weekly delivered gas was due. She should tell Daron to clear a path to the storage tank, but this was more important. “What do you want to do?”

“Get a better paying job and my own place. Maybe join the military. Maybe jam my belongings in a backpack and start hiking.”

Daron hadn’t thought out his options, but at sixteen he couldn’t be expected to know how to turn dreams into reality. Much as she wanted to encourage him to embrace every day, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t listen. At least he was providing her with something other than making love with Shaw to think about. Temporary distraction.

“It sounds as if you’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

“Yeah, kinda.” Daron pointed in the general direction of the resort. “I’ve been here since I was eight. I know everyone who lives at Lake Serene, every trail, where the best fishing is, how awful it gets when the mosquitoes are around. When I was going to school, I’d listen to other kids talk about the things they’d seen and done, places they’d gone to.” He dug his boot into the snow. “What did I do? I got back on the bus and came back here. I’m trapped.”

“You are if that’s the way you see it.”

Instead of shrugging her off, Daron stared.

“Life is what we make of it,” she continued. “Some of us are better at it than others.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I’m going to tell you something. Maybe it’ll help you understand what I’m talking about. My mother spent years reacting instead of acting. Do you know what I’m saying? She let someone else direct her life.”

“Can’t she—”

“She’s dead.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Worn out from what she’d said, which wasn’t enough, she placed her hands on Daron’s shoulders. Beneath his cold coat his bony shoulders stuck out.

“You’re young. You have a great many years ahead of you.”

“What am I supposed to do with them?”

She’d once had the same thoughts, questions, and concerns. In some regards, she still did. “Plan. You’re right. At sixteen your options are limited. I’m guessing you don’t have enough money to explore the country on foot.”

“I’m screwed.”

She wanted to shake him. “Consider where you’re working. The majority of people your age can’t put this on their resumes. I’m sure you want to help your mom financially but can’t you save part of your salary?”

“Yeah.”

She released him but remained close. For one of the few times in her life she wanted to tell someone what she’d lived through, but this was about the young man, not her.

“Open a savings account. Put a set amount in it every week. Earmark that for what you really want to do.”

“Like get out of here.”

“Yes, like get out of here.” She didn’t tell him that Lake Serene was becoming something she wasn’t sure she could easily leave. All it had taken was an afternoon in the wilderness with Shaw for a seasonal job to turn into something precious—and fragile. She’d once lost something—someone—precious so knew nothing could be taken for granted. Maybe that was what she found so enticing and scary about how her relationship with Shaw was evolving, the unknown.

“You mentioned the military,” she said. “Will any branch take you if you don’t have a high school diploma?”

He wouldn’t look at her. “I don’t know.”

“You owe it to yourself to find out. What about online classes? Is that a viable alternative to getting back on that bus, something you can do around your work schedule?”

“I don’t know.”

She didn’t need to throw any more questions at him. Either he investigated his options or he didn’t. If he wanted to be seen as an adult, he needed to do those things by himself.

“I was home schooled for a while,” she said.

“You—”

“Yes,” she interrupted to stop things from going too far. Why she hadn’t gone to school for the better part of a year wasn’t his concern. “I’ll give you the name of the system I was under. You don’t need me telling you that a diploma will make a difference in your future.” A wave of emotion threatened to overwhelm her. She again placed her hands on the young man’s shoulders. “Embrace every day. Don’t float or hide.” Like I did for too long. “Make your life work for you.”