Taming His Montana Heart(34)

The next day the father had called and invited him over. The now-decorated tree had taken up nearly half of the small living room, the boys were delighted, and the father cried. Shaw hadn’t tried to hide his own tears as he took pictures of the family gathered around the tree.

Seeing the man and his sons had helped Shaw redefine what constituted family. Before, he’d only had his conventional upbringing plus what Boone celebrated with his wife and children for comparison. His world had opened up in that cramped rental and to some extent had kept him from losing faith in himself a few months later.

Much as he missed being with his family at the holiday, this was better. Safer. Also, as Haley had pointed out, Lake Serene had indeed become a wonderland.

“You’re right,” he said when he could trust himself to speak. “They’re doing an amazing job.”

“My family didn’t do much to celebrate Christmas. I told myself it didn’t matter but…”

“But what?” He longed to embrace her as he’d done with the father and his sons but he didn’t. Maybe it was knowing he didn’t trust himself to stop with a simple hug.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to say anything.”

“But you did.”

“Yes.” She kicked at the snow at the side of the path. “Christmas has become such a big deal. All the decorations, the food, gifts, retailers trying to get people to spend more and more money.”

“It can get to be too much.” Maybe her family hadn’t had much money and had dealt with it by downplaying the holiday. Sometimes all it took was a tree and a few decorations. Love filling a small space.

“My dad hated the whole thing,” she continued without looking at him. Her breath showed white.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” She blew out a breath and watched it. “There’s so much I never knew about him. You can’t…”

“Yes, I can. Go on.”

She jammed her hands deeper into her pockets. Sighed. “Even when I was little I knew not to get excited. Mom bought a few clothes for my brother and me and wrapped them up. She made sugar cookies because Dad liked them but that was the extent of it.”

“I’m sorry.” So very sorry.

“Yeah, well, every family’s different. What about yours?”

She was trying to shift the conversation away from herself. He could encourage her to say more but to what end, satisfying his desire to learn more about her instead of helping her make her peace with the past which was something he didn’t know how to do? More to the point, she might emotionally and physically withdraw from him when that was the last thing he wanted.

He told her about going to church where his mother sang, the family caroling in the neighborhood, baking smells filling the house and taking some of the baked goods to a nearby nursing home, the year he’d insisted on riding his brand new bicycle on Christmas morning, falling off, and breaking his forearm. He only touched on the mountains of gifts, his parents kissing under mistletoe, and a house full of relatives.

By the time he was finished, they’d been outside long enough that cold was seeping through the soles of his boots, and she was shivering.

Fighting the impulse to wrap his coat around her, he pointed back at the lodge. “How about we go inside? We can stand near the fireplace and warm up.”

She sighed. “That sounds wonderful, but I need to get home and to bed. My day starts pretty early.”

So did his but sleep was nearly the last thing on his mind. He wanted to back up to the fireplace with her beside him. Somehow he’d get her to talk about her family some more. This time she’d tell him what it was like to live with a father who wouldn’t let his children celebrate Christmas but mostly he wanted her shoulder brushing his.

Taking her hand and leading her to the stairs where his bedroom waited.

“All right.” He couldn’t keep reluctance out of his voice or images of her naked on his bed from stirring his senses and more. “I’ll walk you back to your vehicle.”

“You don’t have—”

“Yes, I do.”

He didn’t explain why he’d said what he had, just let the words stand. And when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, instead of starting up the walk, he drew out the moment.

“I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a day more.” The longer he remained with her next to him, the more he wanted to kiss her. Just kiss?

“It was a good one.” She withdrew the hand closest to him from her pocket. She started to place it between them only to slide it around his waist. In his mind, he heard her whisper his name. Instead, she said, “A lot of soaking in some incredible views and not much responsibility.”

“And our four-legged company. Don’t forget that.”

“As if I could. I want to learn more about wolves.”

Wondering if she was talking so she wouldn’t have to address what was taking place between them, he agreed. He hadn’t been attracted to a woman for so long he wasn’t sure how to handle the condition. She started speculating what would wind up in the educational center, but in a few moments they’d leave the isolated snow-path. He couldn’t let things end with them talking about displays.

“Now is the best part about today.” He stopped, making her do the same. He placed both hands on her shoulders and positioned her so they were face to face. Red and green sparkles again transformed her face into something from a fantasy.