Tamed (Torn #5)(47)

The band was doing well out in L.A. They were working on their album and preparing for its release and the tour that would follow. Adam was excited, as were the rest of the band members—except for Drake. He was too busy shoving powder up his nose to give a damn about anything else—Adam’s words, not mine.

Just when things were starting to settle down with Chloe, Drake came back into her life. The * showed up on our doorstep six months after Chloe had left him. He swore he was clean and confessed his undying love.

Chloe took him back. I wanted to kick her, but when I watched them together, I knew she would’ve taken him back no matter what. They loved each other that much.

Personally, I would have made him suffer a little more. But what did I know about love? Absolutely nothing apparently.

It was like someone had flipped a switch on Chloe. She went from a moping, miserable creature to the happiest woman in the world. I kind of wanted to vomit a little bit when watching her practically skip around. I was happy for her though. The poor girl deserved some happiness.

With her problems no longer an issue, my own started to creep in on me. I thought about Adam more than I wanted to. I thought about him a lot—daily. It started to wear on me until I felt like I was going to explode. It had been over six months, and I still wanted him. My body craved him, practically begging for his touch some nights.

It got to be too much to handle. I hadn’t been with anyone since Adam. Six months of nothing but my vibrator and a little imagination was more than I could take. I needed to get laid.

So, I did—several times by several different men that I could barely remember. I wasn’t proud of what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. When I was with someone else, I wouldn’t think of Adam as much. For a few blissful hours, I could forget about Adam and the way he’d made me feel. It was only temporary though. As soon as I came back down to earth, I’d wish that I were with him.

Adam had become an addiction to me. I hadn’t even realized it until he was gone. Like any other addiction, the withdrawals were horrible. And no matter how much time had passed, I still felt lost. So, I found a new addiction—sex. Only it was with anyone I could find. Sex made me feel alive.

I kept myself in check until the end of our sophomore year of college, mainly because of Chloe. Only a few days after classes had ended, Drake picked her up and moved her to L.A. where he lived—where Adam lived.

Adam and Chloe had both abandoned me. Without them, I felt alone. Logan was still around, but his moods would range from sad to downright evil once she’d left. She’d abandoned him, too, and he felt it. He started spending more and more time away from the house. I wouldn’t dare ask him where he went. I didn’t want to know.

With no one around to hide from, I let myself go. Before, I’d only gone out once or twice a week. That wasn’t enough. I started going out more and more, and then it turned into every single night. Sometimes, I would bring the men home. After Logan had caught me a few times, I started going back to the guy’s places. It wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but I was past caring. All I wanted was a few hours of blissful silence from my constantly churning mind. If the man wouldn’t take me home, we’d find other places to go—the restroom of the bar, the backseat of a car, or even a hotel room. It didn’t matter to me. As long as I got off, I was content.

I knew what I was. The other women at the bars I frequented would whisper it as I walked by.

Whore. Slut. Trash.

I didn’t deny it. Why would I? I was doing the exact same thing I’d watched Adam do. I would sleep with anyone who looked at me.

I was living in my own personal hell, and a part of me loved it.

Naturally, things had to change on me again, and it was just when I’d started to feel comfortable with my hell. Go figure.





One Year Later—August

Morgantown, West Virginia

When my phone started ringing with a number I didn’t recognize flashing across the screen, the last person I’d expected it to be was Drake. I liked the guy, and he might belong to Chloe, but even I had to agree that he was hot as hell. It was just that we weren’t exactly best buddies. He’d never called me before.

“Hello?” I answered cautiously, unsure of what to expect.

“Amber?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Drake?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

What the f*ck? “Um…hi?”

He chuckled. “I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I’m calling.”

“Well, yeah, a little,” I mumbled as I dropped down onto my bed.

“I need your help.”

“Please tell me you didn’t f*ck up again, Drake. I’m so not helping you if you’re using again,” I said, worried.

“I’m not,” he said, his voice tinged with anger. “I’d never do that again. I’m not a total moron.”

“That’s debatable,” I mumbled.

“You’re…pleasant to talk to this evening,” he grumbled back.

I rubbed my temples. I could already feel a headache coming on. “Sorry. What do you need, Drake?”

He hesitated. “I need your help.”

“You already said that. What do you need my help with?” My patience was thin tonight.