Take the Fall(94)

“I meant what I said before . . . about how I feel. I never could have turned you in.”

His jaw is tight. “This is wrong. Don’t do this.”

“No, it’s okay.” I shake my head, blinking back tears I hope will be lost in the spray. “It’s what I want,” I tell myself. “It’s best this way.”

I close my eyes, the rush of water drowning everything out until I almost feel like I’m alone. I take a moment to appreciate the solidity of the limestone beneath my feet, the cool humid air. But one by one my family steps into my thoughts, coming to join me. My throat closes. I don’t even know what’s happened to my uncle Noah. Will my mother wake up tomorrow without a daughter or a brother? How will she explain that to my cousin? Will she and Dina accept that I took my own life? Will any of them forgive me?

Suddenly, that seems worse, never having any answers. My mom could live the rest of her life above the diner, looking out into the park, wondering and never knowing. A sharp pang shoots through my chest. That’s probably how Gretchen’s parents feel now. I’ve taken my knowledge of what happened to her for granted.

I open my eyes.

“What are you doing?” Kirsten asks.

I purse my lips. I can’t convey to her how much watching Gretchen die has haunted me. How if I back off this ledge now, I’d be shifting that weight to her instead of easing her burden.

“I changed my mind. Call the sheriff.”

I take a step forward, on trembling legs, but onto solid ground. Marcus seems to exhale with his whole body, but Kirsten’s eyes blaze in an unnerving, familiar way.

“No, I changed my mind. You deserve what happened to her.”

“Kirsten, I don’t—”

She slams into me. I don’t have time to process what happens next. The wind gets knocked out of my chest, her hands close around my neck. But then Marcus is there, locking his grip around my wrist. Kirsten’s fingers scrape over my shirt, and then flail; she’s too close to the edge with nothing to hang on to. I reach for her, but Marcus yanks on my arm. I swing sideways, landing hard on the ground.

There’s a flash of blond hair.

I scream.

Kirsten plunges down.





FORTY-THREE


SOMEONE IS STILL SCREAMING. A hand closes over my mouth and it stops.

Marcus hauls me to my feet. “Sonia, come on!”

He nearly yanks my arm out of its socket dragging me through the woods like we’re on the run. Like we could ever get away. The darkness and branches blur the way they did the last time I ran like this. Running from an attacker I left dead, drowned. But then I notice the slope shifting beneath us. We’re headed downhill.

Marcus pulls me onto the wooden stairs built along the side of the gorge, leading down to the pool of water below the falls. I’ve never been here when it was so dark. The water level is higher than I ever remember; the familiar rocks and boulders we used to perch on along the shore are knee deep. The waterfall is lit by the glow of the moon. As is the lifeless body floating facedown at the center of the pool.

Arctic water splashes my face as Marcus dives in, snapping me back to my senses. He has Kirsten’s head above water in four strokes. Moments later, he’s hauling her to shore.

“I don’t think she’s breathing. Do you know CPR?”

My eyes widen and I nod, rushing to his side. I took a CPR class once for gym credit. My mom always said it was important to know stuff like the Heimlich working in the diner, but I’ve never actually had to use what I learned. Kirsten’s left arm is twisted at a sick angle. There’s blood coming out of her nose. I listen to her chest and don’t hear breathing or a heartbeat, but it’s almost impossible to hear anything over the roar of water at my back or the pounding in my ears. I start chest compressions, looking at Marcus’s soaking clothes as I count. Pieces of his phone lie dashed across the rocks.

“Take my phone out of my pocket. Call nine-one-one.”

Marcus follows my directions while I check Kirsten’s airway, tilt her head back, breathe into her mouth. I hear him shouting to the dispatcher, but I don’t catch the words.

I stare at Kirsten’s face, crash my hands into her chest, and plead to Gretchen—Please bring her back.

Nothing happens. I keep my rhythm, counting, pumping, breathing, but she’s motionless beneath me. Marcus asks a question I can’t hear. I can barely see through my tears. After an eternity, the first of many sirens wails faintly over the crash of water, and at the moment we’re joined by the first EMT, Kirsten coughs beneath me and breathes.

We’re surrounded by police and firefighters. Kirsten was rushed away ten minutes ago, but the place is still a zoo of first responders. I sit out of the way on a large rock, watching the water pour down endlessly from above. Marcus huddles under a blanket on the stairs. He’s done most of the talking since the cops arrived, since the sounds coming out of my mouth stopped forming actual words. No one comes near me but Sheriff Wood, who is way too kind. I wish he’d just arrest me and get this over with.

“Sonia? Sonia!” My head snaps up at my mother’s voice, even while my stomach drops. There’s no way to keep it from her now. She comes down the steps two at a time, still wearing the clothes she wore to work yesterday. I stand when she reaches the bottom, and she wraps me in her arms. “Oh thank God, are you all right? Roger said Kirsten’s in the hospital.”