Take Me With You(108)

“I promise you. I’m not,” I declare through tremulous lips.

“We need to trust each other if we are going to pull this off,” he says, leaning forward. “You understand if a child comes out of this, and it looks like Sam with those fucking eyes or the blood work doesn’t match with this Northern Woods fella, this could bite us in the ass. Like I said, there are ways we can take care of things. Quietly.”

“There is no baby,” I insist through a clenched teeth, rage bubbling in me at the thought that our dead baby is such a convenience to him.

My gut twirls with a feeling of dread that I'm not sure why I didn't feel sooner around this man. Maybe it's the uniform he wears, the one that tells us all that he's one of the good guys. Just like how Sam's mask told me he wasn't. But sometimes those costumes deceive us. Sometimes the man in the police uniform wants you dead. Sometimes the man in the ski mask saves your life. I don't think Ridgefield ever intended to see me alive. I knew who he was. He doesn’t trust me. And unlike Sam, I have no motive in Andrew's mind to keep the secret.

The present danger is in the sheriff, not Sam. So I choose to say something that isn’t just a shallow reassurance. It shouldn’t be true. I’m supposed to be moving on. In fact, as I prepare my words, my throat gets heavy and clogged and it almost pains me to say it. But it shouldn't hurt so much if it's just another lie.

“You want to know why I won't tell?” I ask, leaning my hands onto Ridgefield’s desk.

He gives me a subtle nod.

“Because Sam is mine.”





Tahoe is next week. I've been doing my best to give this life a try. Sam's box sits there like a twisted version of a comfort blanket, assuring me he still exists. Whenever Carter is not home, I go out to the park, library, anywhere away from the phone so I am not tempted by his random calls.

I can feel it growing slowly around me, like ivy. This new life trying to take root and rebuild itself over me. I can't be her again, the girl before all this, but maybe I can smother everything that happened and find a place where I can exist here.

I left the sheriff's office a month ago with news that someone else would be taking the fall for Sam's crime. That guy was plastered all over the news shortly after. A press conference was held. I watched it with Carter as he held my hand. But I pulled it away and left the room. I couldn't watch the lies. I couldn't sit there while Carter thought that was the man who had me.

But if I can just stay away from the temptation of him, the way an alcoholic stays away from bars and liquor stores, maybe I'll think of him less. Maybe I'll forget.

On this morning, Carter seems in a rush to get out the door. He's got a lot to take care of this week before we leave. I turn on morning news and I can't escape Sam. His brother is right there on the screen: Sheriff Ridgefield announces his run for mayor of Sacramento.

They talk about how he's taking advantage of his recent success in my case and the Northern Woods Killer.

I snicker at the TV.

“What is it?” Carter asks as he puts on his watch.

“Oh just that the sheriff is running for mayor.”

“Why's that strange?”

“I don't know why. I just find it funny they consider me a success story. They didn't find me. He let me go. I don’t know how he saved face telling the world it was The Night Prowler who took me if it was this guy. Not to mention that means that Night Prowler guy is still out there. A convenient fact everyone seems to forget.”

“If?” Carter asks.

“I’m just saying, I don’t think the Sheriff comes out looking as sparkling as he thinks.”

“But they put the asshole who took you away for life, right?” he says, kissing me on the top of my head.

“Yeah.”

He glances over at the TV. “You don’t like that guy, do you?”

I shrug.

“You okay?” He's being thoughtful, but I can tell his mind is already out the door. Understandable.

“I'm fine.”

“Okay. I'll see you tonight.” It's actually comforting he takes my word for it.

Carter's gone within a minute and I start the shower to get ready for my day of avoidance. But now Sam's on the top of my mind, so that no matter where I go, he'll be there.

You'd think the shame would keep Andrew Hunter-Ridgefield from running for office. But no, this is exactly why he wanted this. It wasn't to protect Sam, it was so his own ambitions wouldn't be sidetracked. He stands up on the podium, with his little family and his expensive suit, and he claims that he cares about people. Well I have a box with 82 lives—homes that were broken into, people terrorized and violated—that prove otherwise. But I am just as guilty. I could go to the FBI. All the scenarios run through my mind when the phone rings. It's too early for Sam. Unless this is a new strategy since I'm gone all day now. Or maybe Carter is calling because he forgot something. I have to answer.

When I do, I know within seconds it's him.

“I have your box.” I pause for a response I know I won't hear.

“Your brother is the big winner in all this. Did you see on the news? He's running for mayor.”

Nothing.

“Is this ever going to stop? You don't want me, Sam. I wouldn't be here if you did.”