Tabula Rasa(54)

I wondered what would ever possess Shannon to live in such a small town. Small towns were nosy. Everybody wanted to know everybody’s business. And if you weren’t involved enough in town stuff, people always wanted to know why. I would think Shannon would prefer to get lost inside a big city.

“Hello,” a woman said from behind the register inside one of the boutique stores. Her name tag read, June. “Can I help you find something?”

“I’m just looking, thanks.”

June had short pixie-cut graying hair that fringed delicately around her face, and reading glasses perched on her nose. The glasses were on a chain so she could wear them around her neck when she didn’t need them. She was dressed smartly in a black leather skirt that ended mid-calf, covering the tops of chic black boots. A somewhat fitted black top completed the look, accentuating the gentle curves on her slender frame. She had this freaky sort of old-lady/young hipster combo going on that made it impossible to tell if she was twenty or two hundred.

Sure, I’d met Shannon’s parents, but it was so weird being anywhere without Shannon or Trevor and being around strangers. This was my first unsupervised visit anywhere since the car wreck. And it made me want to climb out of my skin.

I know I’d decided I wanted to be with Shannon, and it seemed nothing could drag me from that determination, but it was unsettling being in this little boutique shop outside of Shannon’s direct grasp and not asking for help. Like, if I were a sane or rational person, shouldn’t I realistically ask this woman to call 911 for me? Shouldn’t I make some token effort? But even with how our relationship had shifted, I had a hard time realistically seeing my life with Shannon as imprisonment—despite the extremely limited times I’d been allowed to venture outdoors.

So instead of doing something rational, I wandered toward the back of the store to the lingerie section. I didn’t even know if Shannon still wanted me, and yet the first thing I did as a supposedly free woman, was shop for lingerie for him. Well, for me... but you know... for him.

The sales lady by this point had migrated back to the lingerie area as well. If I were a teenager in a baggy overcoat, I’d assume she was shadowing me for fear of shoplifting. But I was pretty sure it was more general nosiness. This suspicion was confirmed a moment later.

“Are you new to the area, or just visiting?” June asked.

I was tempted to insist I was just visiting, but instead I said, “New.”

“Oh? Do you know anyone here?”

“Shannon Mercer.” I had a momentary fear that he might murder me for bringing his name up, but hey, he chose a small town to live in. And frankly, if he was going to end up killing me, I wanted him to have to work up an explanation about my disappearance and sweat a little over it.

“Ooooooh,” she said. I swear, I thought she was going to start singing the kissing in a tree song like a grade school child. She got a sort of blushy dreamy look on her face. “He is so beautiful.”

In spite of everything, I found the grin inching up the side of my face, followed by a nervous giggle. “Yeah. He is pretty hot.”

“You did good, honey.”

I was pretty sure she wouldn’t maintain that position if she had more facts about Shannon. This made me wildly curious about what she thought Shannon did for a living.

“And he’s such a good man,” she continued. “But I don’t have to tell you. I guess you’ll be going on the trips with him?”

“Ummm, yeah, the trips. Sure.” I had no idea what this lady was talking about, but I was fascinated to know more about the saintly portrait Shannon had painted of himself.

“I think it’s just so lovely that he donates so much of his time to helping all those poor people in those destitute countries.”

Oh, dear lord. It took all my powers of self-control not to bust out laughing at the deranged idea of Shannon doing extended charity work like some black-clad special ops Mother Theresa.

The sales lady sized me up and then handed me a sexy little black lace number. The lace was elegant and made me think of something a Victorian-era courtesan might wear. “He’ll like this,” June insisted.

I checked the size. It was my size, all right. She had a good eye. “I’ll take it.”

“You don’t want to try it on to make sure?”

“No, I’m sure.” I kind of needed to get away from her. This lady had a crush on Shannon and thought he did charity work. If only she knew. I would never do it, of course, but there was this sadistic part of me that wanted to tell her the truth about him. Just to watch the color drain out of her face.

I frowned, realizing the dark road my thoughts had turned down.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“Oh, no. I was just thinking about something else.”

“Now, I’ve got all sorts of fun and interesting toys and edible body paints and...”

“No, the lingerie is fine.”

“Is it for Valentine’s Day? That’s right around the corner, you know. We have some cards at the register if you want to pick one out.”

“That’s okay, I’ve already got a card.” I couldn’t imagine ever giving Shannon a card for any reason. I was tempted to ask “how right around the corner” Valentine’s Day was. But at least now I had a better idea of what month we were in.