Sunday Morning (Damaged #7.5)(8)
“I saved you from that f*cker ready to tear you apart.”
“I got to take out my frustrations on his face. He wouldn’t be the first man to hit me, and I doubt he’ll be the last. It’s not about whether I get hit in life, but whether I hit back.”
The thought of anyone harming Jodi lit a raging fire in my belly. “No one should be laying a hand on you.”
Jodi shrugged at my statement and glanced at the dog walkers nearby. “Do you have any kids?”
“Not that I know of anyway. Women are sneaky, though.”
“Is that why you’re protective of me? You never had any kids, and I’m bringing out your fatherly instincts.”
“You’re f*cking with me, right?”
Jodi’s expression remained unreadable, but I sensed she was bluffing. “You’re the one playing protective dad.”
“Where is your dad?”
“In prison.”
“Sounds about right. Is he in there because of you?”
Jodi’s mask cracked. “No.”
“Have you ever met him?”
“Yeah. Well, there are two guys who might be my dad. They’re brothers and both are in prison. I don’t visit the rapist anymore because he got horny when I visited the first time. Now I just visit the murderer. You know, to gloat.”
I smiled at her expression. “Gloat about what?”
“I’m free, and he’s locked away. He won’t be getting out anytime soon either.”
“Why do you hate him?”
“He’s a predator.”
“So am I.”
“Do you rape women? Are you a serial killer? Technically, my dad could be either of those f*ckers. I come from criminal trash, but I’m sure you already guessed that.”
“I wouldn’t have actually. When I think of you in that trailer park, I see a rose surrounded by weeds and thorns.”
Jodi blinked as if startled and then she shrugged. “That’s poetic.”
“I’m not those things, but I’m a killer. I’m also hunting you despite my best efforts to let you go.”
“Why me?”
“Why not?”
Jodi studied me, and I thought she understood. Sometimes stars aligned, the timing was perfect, and the heart just craved what it craved.
“I won’t be sixteen forever,” she said, crossing her arms. “That’s your problem, isn’t it? My age.”
“Among other things.”
“What things?”
“I’m a thorn, baby. I don’t know how to be anything else.”
“What do you mean by being a thorn?”
“I crush. I f*ck. I don’t care about how pretty it looks or feels. I do things because they need doing. You got rainbows in your head and stars in your eyes. I’m all meat and potatoes. I f*ck hard and fast. I don’t hug. I certainly don’t cuddle. I don’t even tell the bitches goodbye when I’m done with them. I’m not anyone’s boyfriend. I’ll never care about a woman’s feelings. The only reason I still exist is because no one’s been tough enough to put me down.”
Jodi had considered my words for maybe a minute before she asked, “Is that all you want? If it is, then maybe my age isn’t the only issue.”
“I don’t know what I want.”
Jodi smiled knowingly, and my skin crawled under her warm gaze. “You might be an old man, but you’re as lost as a kid.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “You’re not wrong.”
“Why do you think you’re lost?”
“I was a kid and got into the habit of doing certain shit. Crushing people. Fucking without using my heart. Then I was a man, and I did the same shit. I don’t think I ever really thought about why I am this way. I never thought about anything, but now I think about it too much.”
“Everything gets boring after awhile.”
“That it does.”
Jodi studied me with the gaze of a woman twice her age. She was dissecting me, and it felt hot as hell.
“You’re a grown enforcer for a club with little kids in charge.”
“They do act like little kids.”
“Why follow them when they should be following you?”
“I don’t know if I want to be in charge.”
“Why not? What are they doing that you couldn’t?”
Frowning at her, I asked, “Are you trying to cause trouble for me?”
“You’re bored, and I’m thinking of ways to change things for you. I figured giving up your life of crime and becoming a grocery checkout boy wasn’t in the cards. Being club president is more in your wheelhouse.”
“My club already has a president.”
“Start a new club.”
Putting out my cigarette, I sighed. “Life’s really simple when you’re young.”
“I live in a shithole with an addict mom. I go to a crappy school where I can’t learn anything. I don’t have any skills that’ll make climbing out of my shithole easier. I’m attracted to a bad man going through a midlife crisis. There’s nothing simple about my life.”
My fingers reached out and took hold of her blonde hair blowing in the evening wind.