Stripped Bare (Stripped #1)(31)

I dropped my head back and closed my eyes.

How very gentlemanly of him.





“What’s wrong with me, Allie?” I slumped forward on the kitchen table, my fingers buried deep in my hair. “I’m a total slut, aren’t I?”

My best friend hesitated. “Well, no. A slut would have been sleeping with him on Monday morning. You’re like...a baby slut.”

“Stop being nice to me. I’m an *. I’m so caught up in my own life that I have flights booked for Saturday to come home for the fitting and have no idea if I can even make it because I haven’t discussed it with him because he’s so f*cking hot!”

“Boy, admission for one for the pity party.”

“You’ve got a VIP ticket.”

“You’re the host, you idiot. Of course I have a VIP ticket,” she said fondly. “Why don’t you just call Michelle and explain, babe? It’s not the end of the world. So you know this guy and you can’t stay away.”

“Because my life isn’t a f*cking chick flick?” I turned my face to the side and pinned my phone to the table with my ear so I didn’t have to go to the trouble of holding it in place any longer.

“Then...I don’t know. Get sick.”

“I can’t do that. She needs to be around for Jamie right now.”

“Then, sissypants, buck the f*ck up and get on with it,” she finally said. “People are dying around the world and you’re worried about getting your panties wet when you have to go to work.”

“They’re hardly comparable.”

“Exactly. So quit bitching and get on with it.”

“Geez, Bridezilla,” I said slowly. “Who stole your coffee this morning?”

“Nobody. This just isn’t the Mia I know. The Mia I know doesn’t give a shit how attracted to somebody she is. She gets the hell on with it regardless of the situation.”

“Yeah, well, this Mia is screwed because this situation is really f*cky. I mean, come on. This situation has a sinfully hot guy with a tongue that could break the world record for the longest vaginal oral sex. He should either be teaching awkward teenaged boys how to do it to save the next generation the horrors we went through or do porn.” Probably both. “No, both. He should be doing both of those things.”

“That was too much information.”

I shrugged though she couldn’t see it. I didn’t really care. I was in dire straits and her best advice was to get on with it.

“Look, babe, it’s not the end of the world. Chances are it wouldn’t matter if you knew him already anyway. If you were gonna be this attracted to him, you would be regardless.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” I argued. “Got any other predictions up your sleeve, Oh Great Psychic?”

“Not psychic. Common sense. If it’s really that bad, then just screw your way through the next couple of weeks. At least then you’ll be having fun while you’re doing it. And it’s not like you’re working at an old people’s home, is it?”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? I can’t screw my way through the next two weeks.”

“Well, it’s that or you stop whining about it.”

“You have no sympathy for me, do you?” I huffed. Some best friend she was.

“No. You told him yesterday morning you’re shit at personal relationships—”

“Because I am.”

“—and then, twelve hours later, you were sitting on his face with his dick in your mouth. It doesn’t get much more personal than coming on someone’s face, Mia.”

Like I hadn’t already known that. I wasn’t going to tell her that I’d done it three times, either.

“That doesn’t help, Allie.”

“I’m not in the mood for helping. You’re not helping yourself by moping around on your kitchen table.”

“How did you know I was at the kitchen table?”

She sighed. “Because you always mope at the kitchen table.”

“Oh, what am I gonna do? I can’t go in there right now and act like nothing happened, can I?”

“I don’t see that you have much choice,” she replied slowly. “You have to finish this off. And him. You finished him off, right?”

“Allie!”

“What? I was wondering. You said about you... Yeah. Never mind.” She paused. “You’re gonna be attracted to him whatever you do. You may as well just deal with it and go with the flow.”

“Jesus Christ, I’m getting schooled by a virgin.”

“Ha!” She burst into laughter.

“Do you mind if I just blame you for this? You’re the one who booked him for me, after all.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who invited him back to your hotel room. I didn’t make you do that. This is what you get for taking a virgin to a strip club. The Slut God and Virgin God rain hell upon your greedy vagina.”

“You need to lay off the TV,” I noted. “But I’m still blaming you. I never would have met him otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. If it makes you feel better, blame me. We both know it’ll still be your fault. Call him, Mia. At least then he’ll be expecting you.”