Steal the Sun (Thieves #4)(38)

“Not at all, mistress,” Albert intoned with a patient sigh. One hoof tapped along the marbled floor.

I tried to come up with a way to tell the story that made me look as innocent as possible. I hadn’t meant to cause a revolt, after all. “Well, you know how the brownies clean up and all you have to do to keep them happy is leave out a small bowl of cream?”

“Yes, I’m aware of the exchange.”

“I thought it might be fun to leave them shots, like what you get in a diner to put in your coffee,” I explained. “So I might have gone to Costco and brought in a couple of crates of flavored cream. I might have exchanged it for their regular cream. I mean the poor things have to eat the same damn cream every day. Let’s switch it up, people. Right? It’s no big deal, Al, just a little hazelnut and vanilla cream. Maybe some caramel.”

Albert shook his head. “Mistress, I hope you brought enough. They all wish to try the flavors. If you continue to feed strange creatures, we will be returning to our home with a menagerie. We’ll have to start a zoo.”

Barghest whined at my feet, proving Albert’s point.

Just at that moment the door swung open and two goblins entered. They were short but fierce looking, with leathery skin and red eyes. They swaggered in, their eyes going directly to me.

“We demand flesh and blood,” the tallest one said.

“Okay, I’ll go with my patent response of ewww,” I said with a glance at my wolves, who seemed to not care that two fierce warriors had accosted me. They were far too busy downing nachos.

“We’re hungry, human,” the shorter one said. “We demand our midday meal as is our right. You’re our hosts. You’ll give us flesh and blood. We don’t eat greenery.”

“Amen, brother,” Lee said with a growl and a manly belch.

“I don’t have any flesh and blood.” I looked down at the goblins. I doubted Albert had thought to bring along packets of blood and hunks of flesh. Though now that I thought about it, it might have been a good idea.

They looked me over with toothy grins. There was no lust in their eyes. I think they were wondering how many burgers they could get out of me. “You certainly have plenty of flesh, my lady, and you’re full of blood.”

I reached out and slapped him right on his scraggly head.

His clawed hand reached up and massaged his forehead. “The human hit me.”

“She did,” the other goblin replied, looking at me curiously. “Does she intend to start a war?”

“No,” I said, hitting the other one just as firmly. I didn’t have to play the lady with the Unseelie. They would just see it as a weakness. “But I’m not going to be intimidated and I’m certainly not going to be your meal. Now, you’re welcome to join us for our lunch if you can behave. We’re having enchiladas.”

Lee slapped at the table, giving me a stern frown. “Yeah, a small portion if you keep inviting people in. You’re already planning on feeding those damn dogs.”

The taller goblin gave me a disdainful look. “We don’t eat anything called enchiladas. Seelie food is distasteful. It’s shit.”

I rolled my eyes and picked up a particularly pork-filled chip. While the goblin was complaining about all things Seelie, I shoved it in his mouth.

He sputtered and choked and then finally managed to chew for a moment. He looked at his friend. “We’re staying for lunch.”

Albert sighed deeply. “We’ll have to begin an Unseelie wing in the penthouse,” he warned. “Please, mistress, do not feed the sluagh the skittles I know you smuggled in. I have no wish to clean an aviary.”

I chewed my food and promised nothing.





Chapter Nine





Neil was quiet as we moved from the banquet hall into the grand ballroom later that night. He’d been contemplative most of the day after the episode with Herne. Zack had managed to blow the whole thing off but Neil had issues. He’d been nearly silent the whole rest of the day, preferring to be my bodyguard rather than the BFF role he usually took. He’d stayed by my side, but I caught him glancing warily Herne’s way from time to time. I knew he was thinking about that time in Vegas when Daniel had been able to force his will on him.

He stood in one of the open doorways, looking out over the water. The grand ballroom was open to the night and overlooked a field with a winding stream that gleamed silver in the moonlight. In Faery, they didn’t worry about mosquitoes or rainstorms. The night was merely another lovely setting and they took advantage. Neil watched the fields in the distance, but it didn’t seem to calm him. The moon was only half full but I wondered if he wanted to run.

“Is he all right?” Sarah asked, her eyes worried.

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I think Herne is bringing back bad memories. He didn’t have a choice. One minute he was Neil and the next minute he was a wolf with a new master.”

“It’s creepy.” She looked back to where Dev and Danny were seated with Herne. The three were talking and laughing and generally getting along. The Hunter had been silent and his host was a jovial man.

“I’m sure it felt that way for Neil.”

“I was talking about the whole ‘sharing your body with a god’ thing. I hadn’t thought about it before. I mean, Bris is so gentle,” Sarah said, watching Herne. “Besides being constantly horny and having no qualms about public sex, he’s helpful, you know. I was having trouble with the basil in my garden and he was so sweet about it. I can’t imagine that hunter guy is helpful. And from what you told me, he’s a Neanderthal. Join the twenty-first century, dude.”