Steal the Sun (Thieves #4)(37)

I, for one, was interested in knowing how I would show the faery, who was at least a foot and a half taller than me.

“She is fierce and cruel,” Bibi continued, her voice promising all manner of torture. “She commands the wolves and they will hunt you down should you cause her a moment’s distress.”

Neil snorted at the thought and suddenly everyone looked our way. Albert shook his horns, appearing grim and put upon. Bibi flushed, her whole face going pink, while the faery chef looked down his nose at me.

I told myself for the four hundredth time that I was going to be a lady.

“Your Grace, is there a reason you have brought hounds into my kitchens?” the faery asked, frowning at the black dogs.

“I’m sorry. They just kind of follow me around. They’re really well behaved.” They were. They were politely sniffing around Albert now, who suffered through it all with dignity.

Bibi was past her initial embarrassment and chose to continue her tirade on my behalf. “Her Grace can go wherever she wants. Who are you, a servant, to tell her what she can and cannot do?”

“It’s all right, Bibi.” I needed to make a few concessions. “I am sure the chef is good at his job. I can just eat whatever the others eat.”

Albert sighed deeply, his disappointment an actual weight in the room. “Very well then, mistress. I will allow him to toss out my cilantro with the trash. It is what began this sad situation. He doesn’t view it as a proper herb.”

Now he had all of our attentions. Neil, Lee, and I were all Southwesterners. We liked our cilantro.

“Just what were you making with that cilantro, Al?” Lee asked, and I could hear his stomach rumble. Lee was always ready to eat.

The demon shrugged coyly. “In honor of my mistress’s blessed state, I thought that I would make a lunch of enchiladas, rice, and beans. It’s my mistress’s favorite. Sadly, the palace chef doesn’t believe Tex-Mex is worthy of his kitchens. I should warn you, my mistress, that he’s also told me I’m not allowed to fry anything. He doesn’t understand your cultural need to fry everything possible in hot grease.”

“What the hell are you making for lunch?” Lee asked the faery chef.

His superior smile said it all. “I am creating a summer salad of all the freshest ingredients. It will be topped with morning dew I collected from the finest flowers of our royal gardens.” All of this was said in hushed tones as though this was a great and honored meal fit for kings or queens.

Unfortunately, I had to feed wolves. They weren’t big on salads.

Neil looked at Lee with desperation on his face. “He has to go.”

Lee turned to me. “It’s your decision, Zoey. You’re the one who has to deal with the consequences.” He shook his head at Neil. “No, we have to trust Zoey. She’ll either pick the nonconfrontational route that gets all of us a meal of freaking morning dew or she’ll go with beef and cheese.”

“Please go with beef and cheese,” Neil pleaded. “I don’t think I’ll like morning dew. It doesn’t sound filling. Is it anything like Mountain Dew?”

“Did I mention the chocolate pie I made earlier that he wanted to throw out with the cilantro?” Albert asked.

“Faeries do not eat this chocolate of yours,” the chef informed me with an aristocratic huff.

“Dev does,” Neil pointed out. He did. Especially chocolate sauce since he liked to lick it off my body.

“You,” I said to the chef, raising my voice in my most regal fashion. “Out.”

My need to be ladylike completely lost to my need for chocolate. I had nine months to eat whatever I liked and fool myself into thinking my body would just bounce back after the baby was born. I wasn’t about to waste that time on morning dew, which I was pretty sure didn’t have anything to do with Mountain Dew.

“I shall take this up with Her Majesty,” the chef promised as he turned and huffed out.

I looked at Albert. “You, start frying tortillas.”

Albert smiled, completely satisfied. “It’s already done. I merely need to bake the entrée, mistress. In the meantime,” he began, placing a large platter on the table, “I took the time to make an appetizer of pulled pork nachos. Please enjoy.”

Neil actually drooled as he and Lee started in on the nachos. “I love you, Albert.”

“And I’m fond of you, Neil.” Albert checked the temperature of the ovens with his usual air of competence. He put the platters in and turned to me with a suspicious look as I tried to hide the fact that I was feeding the black dogs under the table. “Mistress, you wouldn’t happen to know why the brownies have suddenly stopped their routine cleaning?”

I shrugged because I was totally at a loss. I savored the greasy goodness of the nachos while Shuck thumped his tail, impatient for another. “Why would I know that? Besides, my rooms were perfectly cleaned.”

Neil nodded and answered around a mouthful of nachos. “My bed was made this morning and it wasn’t me or Zack.”

“Apparently the brownies have gone to the head housekeeper and they are demanding something they call ‘flavors,’” Albert said, his mouth turned down.

“Oh, crap.” Yeah, that was me, too. I had to hope the Seelie wanted this baby or I might get us all tossed out. I decided to try to feign innocence. “Would you believe me if I said I know nothing about it?”