Standing in the Shadows (McClouds & Friends #2)(112)

"I haven't told him yet, no, but he knew that Novak was back in France. Luksch, too. The police have been moving in on them for days. I told Connor, but he didn't share those details with you, did he?"

She started shivering.

"No," Nick said. "Of course not. It didn't fit his fantasy. He wanted to rescue you, so he created a bad guy to save you from. He sucked you in. I know this hurts, and I know you care about him, but you've got to be strong. You've got to drag yourself out of this dream world of his. You've got enough to cope with already. I'm really sorry, Erin."

She shook her head. "No," she whispered.

Not the man who was so in love with her that he blushed and stammered when she teased him at the breakfast table. Who had rescued her sister, and woken her mother from the ugly dream she'd been trapped in. Not the man who had made such sweet, passionate love to her all night long. Not her Connor. It was not possible.

The vortex was sucking at her, and this time there was no one to grab onto. No hero to rescue her.

"Erin? Erin!" Nick sounded as if he had repeated her name several times. "Are you there? Erin, I need to find him. If you know—"

"No." The word flew out of her mouth, flat and absolute. "I have no idea where he is, Nick. Not the faintest clue."

"It's for his own protection, Erin. We've got to stop this thing before it spins out of control. I swear, I'm on his side—"

"No. I won't do it."

"Goddamn it, Erin! If you really cared about him—"

"Fuck you. No," she hissed. She slammed the phone down. It started ringing seconds later. She wrenched the phone jack out of the wall and doubled over, gasping. Everything was spinning, going black.

Connor had made her feel so whole, so strong. Like she could bless the whole world with her happiness, just touch it and turn it to gold. For the first time, she had lost her fear of the vortex. Of chaos.

And Nick was telling her that her joy was rotten at the core.

"Erin? Honey? Are you OK?"

She looked up at her mother, who was gazing at her with anxious eyes, and pasted on the best smile she could. "Sure, Mom."

"Who was that on the phone?"

She hid the hand that was clutching the phone jack against her leg. "I was just talking to, ah, Lydia," she said.

"Lydia?" Barbara frowned. "From the museum? That cast-iron bitch who fired you?"

She nodded. "Mueller offered the museum a huge donation, but one of the conditions is that they take me back," she explained. She tried to sound excited about it, but her mother wasn't stupid.

Barbara sniffed. "Well, I think you should spit in their faces," she said. "The nerve! When it suits them, they snap their fingers and expect you to trot right back? I think not!"

"You have a point," Erin said. "But I think I'll go to that meeting today anyway, and see what it's all about. I can always spit in their faces after I see the terms they offer me."

"That's my smart, careful, thoughtful girl," her mother said. "Always hedging her bets, trying to do the right thing."

"Not always," she burst out. "Not always."

"I take it you're referring to Connor," Barbara said. "I must say, he's growing on me. He can be extremely rude, and his background leaves something to be desired, but I did like those brothers of his. Even if all three of those McClouds strike me as, well… kind of out there. But they got Cindy back. That won them lots of points. And it's plain to see that Connor's crazy about you, sweetheart."

She flinched at her mother's choice of words. "I know."

"And any man with the nerve to sneak into my house and seduce my daughter under my nose after what he saw me do to Billy Vega's car… well. All I can say is, he must be made of very stern stuff."

Erin's face flamed. "He didn't seduce me last night," she said. "I seduced him."

Her mother's lips flattened to a thin line. "That was more information than I needed, sweetheart."

"Sorry, Mom," she murmured.

Barbara's expression softened. "There's something you should know before you go to that lunch meeting, hon. I'm going to start looking for a job. And Cindy's going to learn how to pull her weight, too. You don't have to carry us. We'll be strong for ourselves, and for you, too. Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

Erin's lip began to tremble. "I think so," she said.

"You'll make it just fine without that trash at the museum. So if you want to spit in their faces, go right ahead. Don't think twice."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll keep that in mind."

"Follow your heart, honey. Don't compromise yourself."

"I'm trying." Her lips started trembling. "I swear, I'm trying, but I'd better get going now. I've got an incredibly busy day. I need to run home and feed Edna, and then dress for lunch with the museum heads. And I have to schedule a meeting with Mueller after that."

Barbara frowned. "You promised Connor you'd stay right here with us, where you're safe. And I agree one hundred percent that lying low is an excellent idea. At least until things calm down."

Erin kissed her mother's cheek. "I'll call him and explain. He's a sweetheart to be so protective, but I can't cower in a hole forever. I promise I'll take cabs everywhere, Mom. I'll be just fine."