Spring Rain (The Witchling #4)(23)
“Losing you is more painful than anything the soul stone can do.” He touched her cheek, the desolation she had caused in his gaze.
Heat rose to her face. For a moment, she struggled with the sense of triumph in learning he did still care before plummeting into devastation once more knowing it didn’t matter. She had to stay away. “I almost killed you.”
“But you didn’t. You warned me not to touch it. I’m like a kid who touches the stovetop and learns the hard way not to do it again,” he joked. “You saved me. Amber said if you hadn’t used your fire magick, I’d be dead.”
“Don’t you see, Beck? I’m dangerous to you.”
“You aren’t. The soul stone is,” he replied.
“And I’m charged with protecting it.” She had inherited the duty of protecting the small piece of Dark capable of destroying the Light source and its master on her seventeenth birthday from her mother.
“I doubt you were meant to do it completely alone.”
The response crippled her defenses for a moment, and she recalled how many times she had thought the exact same thing. Protecting a piece of solid Darkness from the Dark should not have been a mission for one lowly fire witchling who had never really done anything worthwhile in her life.
“We’re meant to be together, Morgan. I’ve always known this and I’m pretty sure you have, too.”
She said nothing. The words felt true and painful as well. It was just her luck that she’d meet the man who could accept her despite her flaws and calm her fire magick – and not be able to be with him because she was bad.
“Come home with me,” he said again, holding her gaze. “I’m much stronger than I was. I’ve learned a lot about the Light and how to expand and heal it. I touched you when you were unconscious and didn’t get knocked out again this time. I can handle an accidental brush with the stone.”
Her thoughts went to the boarding school where she’d never felt welcome by anyone but him, Summer and Biji, along with a couple others. She was expelled after being accused of setting a fire to burn down the community Christmas tree. She didn’t dare set foot on campus again, now that she knew the impact the soul stone had on the Light. If she dragged Dawn and her lot to the school … it’d cripple Beck even more.
“I don’t belong at the school, Beck, and I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you,” she said, resolve solidifying. “I’m sorry.”
“Not to the school. I want you to stay with me,” he replied.
Morgan couldn’t look away from his teal gaze. Her memories were of the incredible night they’d spent dancing in bonfires where the separation between her magick and their passion melted away.
The terror she often experienced at the thought of letting someone in, of trusting someone, piqued despite the steps she had once taken towards Beck. This time, it wasn’t her fear of being hurt that stopped her but the knowledge she was bad for him.
“I can’t,” she said again. “You don’t understand. The soul stone destroys Light, Beck. You are Light.”
“My world ended when I thought you were dead,” he whispered. “I don’t want a world without you.”
“Don’t do this to me.” Morgan’s eyes blurred. She rested her cheek against his chest once more, listening to his heartbeat. His beautiful words were all she had ever wanted to hear from anyone and yet, they stung as well knowing she could never coexist with him. She swallowed hard, aware of what she needed to do, however hard it was going to be. “Why … why don’t we do this?” she started in what she hoped was a somewhat cheerful response. “You go home and find a way to make this happen. To make us happen without me hurting you. I’ll stay in hiding to keep Dawn off balance. When you’ve figured it out, I’ll come home.”
She sneaked a peek at him to see if he bought it. The light of hope flickered in his eyes, and she saw how poorly she had hidden her real intention of getting him to leave so she could disappear again. Beck not only read between the lines, he read her with uncanny ability.
“You don’t think it’s possible,” he stated.
She said nothing.
“You won’t come back.”
Morgan shook her head.
“Even for me?” he half-joked, his hurt clear.
Her breath caught at the idea of causing him more pain. “It’s because of you I won’t come back,” she said before she could stop herself. “You are everything to me. You and Connor. I won’t ever, ever do anything to bring harm to those I love.”
Beck’s expression warmed.
Hearing her words, she pressed her face to his chest so she didn’t have to look at him. “So. Go home. Figure this stuff out,” she told him, regaining her composure as much as possible after openly admitting how she felt about him. She breathed him in again, not wanting to let go.
“If I push you, you’ll run anyway, won’t you?”
“Right now, yes. I’ll do whatever I must to protect you.”
He was quiet for an agonizing moment before he finally spoke with reluctance. “One condition from the Master of Light and two conditions from me,” he replied, his grip around her tightening. “The Master says, you won’t do this alone. You’re right. The stone weakens me. But I can choose someone to accompany you. You won’t be alone protecting the Light. I’m not, and it’s not right you are.”