Spring Rain (The Witchling #4)(22)
She couldn’t read him. “Don’t be angry,” she whispered. And don’t hurt me. She hated this thought most, the fear instilled in her by caretakers who went off in rages whenever she upset or disappointed them.
“I’m not angry,” Beck said and paused two steps before her. “And I’d never hurt you.”
She lifted her chin without looking away from his green-blue gaze. How he heard that, she didn’t know. Any hope she had of them not being in the middle of a relationship she couldn’t define was gone. He had once told her they were meant to be together. She had fought the idea, the feeling, the instinct.
But it was impossible. She was already falling into him again, and she wanted to let go and fall the rest of the way.
“I, uh …” Beck cleared his throat. “Wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Yeah.” There were no signs the soul stone had left permanent damage after he touched it. If anything, Beck radiated with Light and warmth far greater than he had before. She almost didn’t believe the witchling capable of wielding all the Light in the world had remotely cared about her. She was unimportant, insignificant in the world. It didn’t seem possible, given her horrific lot in life thus far. “You?”
Beck reached out to her. She winced instinctively as his warm palm cupped her cheek. Instantly, his earth magick moved through her with the warmth of a comforting, hot bath. Her tension melted, and her fire rejoiced. As the Master, he was able to take it a step further and suppress her sparking fire magick.
Morgan’s shoulders slumped. With her internal struggle to contain the magick stilled, she could focus on him, his earthy scent and the warmth that sent desire spiraling through her.
“Better?” he whispered.
She nodded. “How can you be so concerned about me after what I did?”
“Decker … explained a few things.” Agitation crossed his features briefly, and the Light around him pulsed brighter in response to his emotion before it faded. “I understand. Mostly.” He was trying hard not to let it show – the pain she had caused and desperately wanted now to burn away.
“I’m so sorry.” Ever sensitive to the suffering of someone else, Morgan placed her hands on his chest and pushed candy flames into him, the only thing she could think of doing to comfort him.
He cupped her other cheek. This time, she didn’t flinch. It was too natural for him to be touching her, a state she had missed for months.
“Why couldn’t you come to me about the stone?” he asked. The Light flared around him again to counter what she suspected was worry. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you didn’t have the right to keep something like this from the one person who could help you.”
“Don’t judge me,” she said, almost grateful for the surge of anger that managed to edge aside her attraction. “You don’t get to do that, Beck.”
“I’m not. But I do get to ask why you couldn’t say goodbye, why you let your own brother … and me … believe you were dead?”
“Because it was safer for you this way. The soul stone damages the Light. It hurts you, Beck, just being near it. How was I going to let that happen?”
He rubbed one thumb along her jawline. “I can help. Somehow.”
“No, you can’t.”
“I can.” The determination in his features was new to her. Beck had been uncertain of himself when she last saw him. He retained some of the conflicted sense of self, but she sensed he’d toughened up a little, too, as had she after spending three months on her own for the first time in her life.
Not that it mattered. All the good will in the universe wasn’t going to convince her to let him help when being in the same room with her could cause him pain.
“You don’t believe me,” he said, reading her expression. “Morgan, I thought you were dead.” His raw emotion, and her suppressed fire, left her vulnerable to emotions she didn’t want to feel. Her magick clamored to help him, but he was controlling it.
Morgan’s eyes watered. “Beck, I did it for you.”
“I know. I love you more for it. But Morgan …” His voice broke. He wrapped his arms around her.
Morgan pressed her face to the soft material covering his chest and breathed in his scent. His athletic frame was hard and muscular though a tad leaner than she recalled, as if he hadn’t been eating well since she left. His earth magick calmed her, and she worked hard to suppress the desire provoking her fire.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you with the stone,” she added. “I will never let it happen again.”
“My angry little guardian angel,” he whispered and kissed her on the top of the head. “Come home with us. We’ll figure it out.”
Home. The word hurt more than anything else. For a very short time, he had become the only home she had ever known. As always, it didn’t last. Nothing good in her life did. She destroyed her chance at happiness, and almost him, the moment he touched the soul stone, and she witnessed just how dangerous it was to the person she cared about. “I can’t, Beck. You have to know this,” she murmured, troubled.
“You can’t stay on the campus with the stone. But you don’t have to. You can stay nearby.”
“And wait for Dawn to find me? Weaken you and the Light every time you’re around?” She lifted her head to meet his gaze. “I can’t … I won’t hurt you, Beck.”