Split(116)

“Hey, Sam.” I move to the chair at her bedside but don’t sit, not sure if I’m welcome to stay long. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay, better I think.” She blinks with her good eye. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” I hesitate but eventually sit, as it seems looking up at me is more of a strain on her. “I figured you’d have some things to say to me. Before you get started, I want you to know how badly I feel about all this. You have to know I had no idea—”

“Please.” She does her best to hold up a hand to silence me. “This wasn’t your fault.”

I feel my eyes widen and my lips part in shock. “It kinda was. I mean, if—”

“Stop, Shy.” She shakes her head and drops it back against her pillow as if the movement took too much out of her. “You know what it’s like in this town. I never locked my door. I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner.”

With the knot in my chest unwinding, I lean over and place my hand on her forearm. “This isn’t your fault.”

“It doesn’t matter; it happened, and honestly . . .” Her bloodshot eye meets mine. “I’m happy it did. I mean, I’m not, but I am. Coming close to death makes you see things differently. It’s like putting your life under a microscope, ya know? I’ve wasted so many years, Shy. It’s time to grow up.”

“What does that mean?”

She shrugs and faces into the sun, as if the rays of light hold the answers. “A better job, thought I could take some classes at the satellite school, settle down . . . eventually start a family.”

“You’d make some man very happy.”

She barks out laughter and winces, but her lopsided grin stays in place. “Not yet. I mean, look at me.” She sobers. “But someday.”

“Listen, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” I chew my lip, worried bringing him up will taint her opinion of me. “It’s Lucas.”

“You guys are together.”

My cheeks heat with a blush that seems to come out of nowhere. “I’m in love with him.”

“That’s great, Shy.” There’s sadness in her voice. “Just . . . be careful.”

“Right, um . . .” I fidget in my seat. “That’s what I wanted to explain, see . . .” Damn, I knew I’d eventually have to explain Gage to Sam; I just hadn’t prepared to do it now. “Lucas has DID, uh . . . dissociative identity disorder.”

Her eyebrows drop low, and with all the bruising, it looks painful.

“You’ve probably heard it referred to as multiple personality disorder.”

Her expression changes to understanding, and I take that as my cue to explain the last month of my life in great detail. She’s quiet and nods that she understands.

“It wasn’t Lucas you were . . . um . . . hooking up with. It was Gage.” There. It’s all out there now.

“Wow.” Her lips open and close as if she can’t find the right words.

“It’s a lot to take in; just know that Lucas is a great guy and if Gage did anything to hurt you, it was only to protect Lucas.” The sentence that just fell freely from my lips should sound absolutely insane in my own ears, but it doesn’t. Not anymore.

“Anyway, I hope it’s okay, but your mom gave Jennings your house key. Lucas is over there with a crew now, replacing all your locks, adding window locks and a security system.”

“You’re kidding?”

I shake my head. “Nope. He feels terrible about the way Gage treated you and went to my dad about doing whatever it takes to make you feel safe again.”

Her eyes tear up and one drop of moisture falls from the slit of her swollen lids. “He’s a good guy.”

“He’s a great guy.” I swallow back the emotion I feel at seeing her break down but give her a second to regain her composure. Once she does, I breach the subject I hope won’t piss her off. “Thank you for telling the sheriff about what Dustin did to the McKinstry place. I know you really care about him; it had to have been hard to turn him in.”

She doesn’t meet my eyes. “I felt like shit not telling you sooner. I mean, hell, your parents were like second parents to me. After everything Nash has gone through, I hated that Dustin did that to him.” She picks at a loose thread on her blanket. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but whatever he felt for you in high school only intensified after you left. He was so drunk, jealous of Lucas, that he told me later what he’d done. I think he felt bad about it after, but that doesn’t make it okay. I would’ve said something sooner, but Lucas wasn’t my favorite person at the time either so . . .”

“I understand.”

“You do?”

I sigh, long and hard, so over all this drama between us. “Do you think we could start over? You know, put all the hurt feelings and animosity behind us and just go back to being friends?”

I watch her swallow and she nods. “I’d like that.”

After getting all the heavy stuff out of the way, we catch each other up on the last five years of our lives. She tells me about a secret crush she’s been harboring for the young dentist who moved to town a few years ago, and I tell her some of the better stories of college life, making sure to leave Trevor out of every one of them. After a while, she loses steam and I take my cue to leave.