Split(115)

I was meant for big things. My momma knew it. And loving Lucas is bigger than anything I could’ve imagined.

“I promise.” I nuzzle his hair, pulling him deeper into my embrace. “You’re stuck with me.”

“Fuck, yeah.” His thrusts quicken and things turn frenzied. Hands grip, nails bite, and when he yanks my head to the side, he whispers in my ear, “I love you, Shyann.”

As if our bodies are in tune, my orgasm rips through me seconds before he thrusts one last time and groans into my neck. We hold on to each other, panting for breath through the steam, our hearts pounding against our ribs.

He leans away so that his mouth is at my ear. “I’m yours. From here on out, nothing will touch you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

“And I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Gage.”

With a shuddering exhale, his body stills. “Thank you,” he whispers, and his muscles soften against me as his death grip on me loosens. After a few deep breaths, he pulls back, blinking, and a shy smile curves his lips. And there’s a little cockiness there too.

I giggle and cup his jaw. “Hey, Lucas.”

He rests his forehead against mine. “I missed you.”

My eyes dart to where our bodies are joined. “Don’t think I can get any closer.”

He laughs, and the sound cocoons me in acceptance and love. “Let’s get dry. I want you back in my bed.”

He lowers me to my feet and gets rid of the condom before holding a towel out and folding me in his arms. We dry and crawl into his bed naked, wrapping ourselves up in each other and nose to nose.

“You changed the sheets.” These are dark gray and smell like soap.

He blushes. “Tossed the old ones.” His fingers twirl a long strand of my hair and his expression grows serious. “I’m going to make it my life’s mission to make you happy, Shy.” He tries to hide it, but I see the fear work behind his eyes. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Therapy, medication, whatever—”

“You’ve spent most of your life trying to earn the love of a woman.”

“We’re not easy to love.”

It’s not the words that shatter my heart; it’s the way he says it, as if it’s the gospel truth. Hooking my fingers under his chin, I force his eyes to mine. “Nothing has ever been easier for me, and I’m not going to make this hard for you, Lucas. Just being with you is enough.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “I’m broken. Split. I’ll never be normal.”

“I know things won’t always be easy, but I don’t want to change you. I love you the way you are, everything about the way you are and you’re who I want. You’ve never given yourself the freedom to just be. You don’t have to hide who you are anymore, Lucas. Ever again. Especially not from me.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He blinks and his eyes focus just over my shoulder before coming back to me. “He’s pretty full of himself, isn’t he.”

“He is the perfect yin to your yang.”

His lips brush against mine. “Would you rather . . .” Another kiss. “Leave Payson and chase your dreams?” His tongue dips into my mouth and I open to him, tasting his apprehension, his vulnerability, and I kiss him with a passion I hope puts all his concerns to rest. “Or . . .” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Throw it all away for a guy going nowhere fast?”

“Hmm . . .” I tap my chin. “Leaving Payson means walking away from everyone I love, and I don’t have to go far to chase my dreams because they’re all wrapped up in the man who’s currently wrapped around me.”

His eyes slam closed. “Shy . . .”

“So I pick stay in Payson and chase down my future with the man who owns my heart.” He doesn’t respond but watches me thoughtfully. “So? What do you say? Can you live with that?”

“We can.”





FORTY-ONE



SHYANN


I’m sweating, but not because I’m hot. Hell, it would be impossible to reach a temperature that would make me sweat with the hospital blowing sixtydegree air-conditioning through the halls.

I’m nervous. Leaving the warmth of Lucas’s arms this morning, I headed home only to find out that Sam has been asking for me. Unable to reach me by cell, her mom called my dad—aaaand suddenly we’re eight years old again—to request I stop by to see her as soon as I could.

So here I am, standing in the hallway, building up the courage to face my old best friend and fully expecting her hate. This must be what it feels like before walking in front of a firing squad.

My stomach bottoms out as I think about all the reasons she has to despise me; after all, I’m the one who brought Trevor and Leaf into her life, even if unintentionally. Sam’s anger is justified. I’ll take my punishment like a good girl and move on.

I shake my hands to get my circulation flowing and throw my shoulders back, so ready to get this over with and get back to Lucas.

Pushing open the door, I’m welcomed by a stream of sunlight through the window, the beeping of a heart monitor, and that weird smell hospital rooms have—some mixture of bleach and blood.

Sam’s alone, but rather than lying flat on her back like the last time I was here, she is in an upright position in bed. Her face is still heavily bruised, one eye swollen mostly shut, but her stitched up lip lifts a little when she looks at me.