Spin My Love (My Love #1)(14)

“I have beer too if you would prefer?” I ask him when he stares at the wine apprehensively.

“Water is fine, Giselle. I’ll get it,” he says, wandering into the kitchen.

I nod, and start to gulp down my glass, then his glass too.

“You’re making me nervous. What do you want to talk about?” he asks when he returns with a glass of water in his hand. He crosses his arms over his chest and studies me intently.

I need to just tell him. Get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.

I take a huge breath and then begin. “A few years ago you came to Perth to play at The Arena, do you remember?”

“Yes,” he says carefully, his eyebrows furrowing.

Here goes nothing.

“I was there that night.”

His eyes widen.

“What do you remember about that night?” I ask him.

He looks down and sinks his teeth into his bottom lip.

“It was pretty much like a usual gig,” he finally replies. “Sold out event. Afterwards I took a girl back to my hotel room. I remember thinking …”

“Thinking what?” I ask.

Suddenly he stands up. “Fuck, Giselle …”

The look in his eyes can only be described as haunted. “That was you that night.”

“What do you mean that was me? Do you remember, or are you pretending you don’t?” I ask, keeping my tone even.

He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

“We had sex. You bailed the next morning without so much as a word,” I say.

“Fuck,” he whispers, raw pain etched across his face. I watch as Tane turns his back to me, and buries both of his hands in his hair, pulling on the strands. He suddenly spins and stares at me with an intensity that makes me want to squirm.

*****

Tane

This has to be some sort of sick joke. That was her that night? I remember the night she’s talking about. I was f*cked up on drugs and I took a girl back to my hotel room. The events are hazy, but we slept together. In the morning I remember looking at her and wondering … could it be her? She had changed, that’s for sure. But when she didn’t say anything and left without a word, I thought it sure as hell wasn’t her. Giselle wouldn’t have done that. She would have stayed, probably chewed me out and called me out on all my shit.

But it was her.

And I’m stupid for not realising it.

I can’t believe I did this to the one girl in my life that I love. The only one I’ve ever loved. Who I supposedly care for. What kind of f*cked up person am I?

No. I’m not the person I was back then, but that doesn’t undo my actions, nor does it absolve my sins. The last time I was in Perth was about five years ago. The thought makes me stand still.

Parker.

I spin around and see the look on her face, on her beautiful face. She has features that would make an angel cry with jealousy. Pink, pouty lips with the deepest Cupid’s bow I have ever seen, wide, blue eyes framed in thick, feminine lashes and a button nose. Her chin has a slight dimple in it that I know she hates, but I can’t help but find adorable. I want to kiss it. But the look on her face is one I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

It also answers the question that I know is lurking in my eyes right now.

Parker is my son.

I close my eyes as I picture her that night.

Ice-blue eyes.

What the f*ck have I done?

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” I ask, my voice a soft whisper. Why didn’t she stay? Talk to me? She didn’t say a single word. She just acted like all the other girls I’ve been with. I wince as the thought even crosses my mind.

Giselle is nothing like other girls.

“Well,” she says, staring at the floor, “I wanted to talk to you, but first you were on the phone, and then your mouth was on mine and I lost all coherent thought.”

I exhale deeply, hating myself in this very moment. “I didn’t know it was you, Giselle. Fuck, I’d never do something like that to you; please believe me. Tell me why you didn’t say anything?” I ask her again, needing to know this answer.

“I thought you knew,” she says in a voice so soft, I have to strain to hear her. “Then I thought maybe you were pretending it didn’t happen. I didn’t know what to think? Maybe you weren’t the same person you were when you left. Maybe you didn’t care?”

I walk over to her and pull her into my arms, as close as our bodies can get. Her hair smells like coconut. When I hear her breath hitching I know that she’s crying. I rub my hands down her back, not knowing what else to do, or how to fix this.

I had literally just f*cked her without a word. Without protection. I’ve always used protection—at least, every time I can remember. Did she even have an orgasm? Seems like a trivial thing to think of right now, but the fact that I don’t even know disgusts me. We stand together in silence, lost in our own thoughts. There is one thing I do remember about the next morning. Why did she leave the room? If she stayed, we could have spoken and cleared all this shit up. It would have still been a shit move on my part, but at least I would have known it was her.

“I’m so f*cking sorry, Giselle. Let me make this right,” I tell her earnestly. I see the moment she shuts herself off from me. The emotion drains from her eyes as she pulls away, composing herself. “I would never pretend something didn’t happen with you, I just didn’t know it was you because …”