Spellslinger (Spellslinger #1)(48)
‘What are you doing here?’ Tennat said irritably, his concentration slipping and the link between the tube and the nekhek’s throat fading. The creature fell back in the cage panting. ‘Now I have to start all over again! It figures you’d want to ruin everything.’
‘Stop it, Tennat,’ I repeated, getting steadily closer to them and still not having a clue what I was going to do when I got there.
Their faces were practically glistening. You could see it in their eyes. Joy. Excitement. Desire. Surprise and annoyance that I’d interrupted them, and something else too: a tiny sliver of concern. They’re worried that I’m going to tell on them, I thought. As if anyone in the village would really punish them for what they were doing. Maybe they would have got into a little trouble. My father would be angered over the potential delay in his plans to deal with the remaining nekhek in the hills, our teacher Osia’phest would certainly mete out some modest punishment for casting spells without proper supervision, but everyone else would probably quietly cheer them for being bold and brave, for once again demonstrating that although the Daroman had military might, it was the Jan’Tep who controlled magic. But only true Jan’Tep, of course.
I hate my people, I realised, with the clarity that comes from an idea you’ve never dared to consider before. I hate all of them. I even hate my family, because one day they’re going to think I’m just as worthless and vile as the animal in that cage.
‘Did you … want to try?’ Nephenia asked gently.
‘Great,’ Tennat said. ‘Let’s have the spy-lover Kellen waste our time with yet another failed spell.’
Nephenia gave me a look of pity and then slapped the back of Tennat’s head. ‘Don’t be cruel. If Kellen wants to try …’
The hells with you, Tennat. The hells with you, Panahsi, even you, Nephenia. The hells with Mother and Father and everyone else.
‘You’ve got to be reasonable, Kellen,’ Panahsi said, his tone a remarkably poor impression of a sympathetic adult. ‘This is blood magic. It’s beyond …’
‘It’s beyond you, Kellen.’ At least have the courage to say it.
Panahsi was right of course. The three of them could already work spells I’d never be able to cast, not for as long as I lived. Inside the cage, the nekhek lay on its side, still moaning in pain. You can’t stop them from doing this. They’ll only hurt you as well if you try.
‘Maybe if you let yourself go,’ Nephenia said, reaching out a hand. ‘I mean, concentrate on the spell, but let go of the fear of doing it wrong. You worry too much, Kellen.’
I almost laughed. Fear. Sure, that was all it was. I looked again at the nekhek trapped behind the bars, terrified out of its mind.
Then I realised that she was right. Fear was the answer. Fear held its own kind of magic, if you could harness it.
‘Don’t waste your time, Neph,’ Tennat said. ‘We could stand here all night waiting and Kellen wouldn’t spark a glow-glass bulb. Besides, I’ve got something really cool I want to—’
‘There’s one spell I can do,’ I muttered, more to myself than to him.
‘Yeah? What spell is that? The running-away spell?’ He scrunched his face tight. ‘Or maybe the trying-so-hard-you-wet-your-own-pants spell? I hear you’re good at that one.’
‘Tennat!’ Nephenia said.
‘All right, all right,’ Tennat said, his hands up in mock submission. ‘It’s just a fact. Some people can’t work magic. Maybe when you join the servants we can still—’
‘You can’t either, Tennat,’ I said. ‘Not when you’re afraid. Even the masters can’t cast spells when they’re afraid, when they can’t concentrate. But I’ve got one that works no matter how scared I am.’
Tennat gave a snort and stepped in front of Panahsi and Nephenia to give me a shove. ‘Your friend with the razor blades isn’t here, Kellen. You think I’m afraid of some sickly, magic-less—’
I swung the rock hard and slammed it into the side of his head. Tennat’s eyes went wide with surprise and he hung there for an instant. Then his body worked out what had happened, his legs gave out from under him and he fell to the ground.
‘What the hells—’ Panahsi started, but I didn’t give him a chance. I swung the rock again and got a glancing hit against his lips and front teeth. He stumbled back out of the way. I didn’t give him a chance to recover. Panahsi was smart. He only needed to get away from me for a moment and calm himself long enough to cast a spell. I couldn’t give him that chance. Pain works as well as fear to break concentration, so I kicked him in the knee. He let out a scream and went down next to Tennat.
Nephenia, her eyes full of shock and confusion, was already forming a knot spell with her left hand that would have me writhing on the ground in another second. ‘Kel …’ She hesitated for just a second. So did I. This was the girl I’d wanted ever since I was twelve years old, for whom I’d written dozens of stupid, lovesick poems. I still kept them in a box buried in the garden behind my home. I knew I’d never show them to her, that I’d be humiliated if my sister or anyone else found them, but I’d kept them all the same. I’d tried to draw pictures of her too, and if there’d been an ounce of magic in me I swear I would have used it up on every charm spell ever devised. I guess you could say I was in love with her.