Spark (Heat #2)(9)

I laugh. It's impossible not to. "I'm never coming back, Brendon. I'll never be part of your life again and there's no way in hell I'm ever coming back to Axel if you're there. You need to accept that."

He doesn't back down. On the contrary, he steps toward me so I retreat the same distance, bumping into a woman hurrying past us on the sidewalk. I murmur a half-hearted apology under my breath to her.

"I wish I could go back in time. I wouldn't mess things up between us," he says the words with enough sincerity that I'm tempted to believe him. I know him better than that though.

I know that this isn't about me at all. He wants me because I'm sleeping with Tyler. Before I landed the position at Nova, I hadn't heard from Brendon in months. This is about male pride. That's it. He sees me as the prize in a battle of ego between him and one of his culinary rivals.

"What we had is over." I sigh as I rest my hand on my chest. "It was good and then it wasn't. There's someone better out there for you. You'll find her."

"You're only saying that because you think Monroe is better for you." His shoulders tense. "You actually think you have a future with him? You're a fool if you think that, Den."

Maybe he's right. Maybe I am a fool but I know, with little doubt, that going back to him would crown me the Queen of Fools. I'm trying to avoid owing that title.

"I'm saying that because it's the truth." I fish in my bag for my keys. "I cared about you once Brendon, I don't anymore. We're done. The sooner you can accept that, the better for us both."

"I kept your secret," he blurts out. "I didn't tell Tyler because I love you."

I'll forget regret confiding in Brendon. When I did it, I thought I could trust him. He'd told me a secret and in my haste to reciprocate, I confessed something I vowed I'd never share with anyone I worked or slept with, unless I knew they were my future. In the post orgasmic haze after an afternoon in bed together, I broke that vow.

Now, he has intimate knowledge about me that I wish I could take back. I can't though. I have to accept that sooner or later, he'll renege on his promise and tell whoever will listen, every detail about my past.

"If you loved me the way you say you do, you wouldn't keep throwing my past back in my face." I look him directly in the eye. "You've held it over my head for too long."

"I haven't held it over your head." He steps forward, his eyes searching my face. "You confided in me and I'm honoring that. I only bring it up to remind you that you trusted me once."

"That was a long time ago." I pause as I search for the right words. "One day you'll realize that what we had is nothing compared to what you can have with someone else. You have to let me go to find that, Brendon. If you want to really be happy forget I even exist. "

***

"Your life is so much better than anything I would have watched on Netflix tonight."

I smile at that. I have to. Sophia was waiting for me with a glass of wine and a willing ear when I turned my back on my ex-boyfriend and came up to my apartment. She listened keenly, without interrupting me, as I told her about Brendon and then Tyler.

"I wish my life was boring," I admit. "I should have taken your advice and sworn off men."

She finishes the last of the wine in her own glass. "I didn't actually tell you to stay away from men, did I?"

It might not have been in so many words, but the meaning was there within the message. She knew that when things ended with Brendon, I needed time to heal. She warned me to watch out for my heart when I started dating again. There's no advice that could have prepared me for meeting Tyler Monroe.

The attraction was strong. The desire to be with him was unyielding. I wanted him and now that I've had him, it's going to impossible to work with him. I have to seriously consider looking for another job.

"You told me to be careful."

"You are careful." She reaches for the almost empty bottle of wine. "Do you want any of this or can I finish it?"

"Be my guest." I tip the glass in my hand toward her. "I'm going to start looking for a new job."

She tucks her bare feet under her. We're sitting next to each other on the couch. There's a warm breeze flowing into the room through all the open windows. Dusk is falling and I'm hanging out with my very best friend. This is exactly what I need to feel calm and relaxed.

"Talk to Tyler first, Den."

"Why?" I wrinkle my nose. "It's my life, Soph. I don't need his permission to look for another job."

"Whoa." She pushes her shoulders back into the soft leather. "I'm not implying that you do. All I'm saying is that from what you told me tonight, your conversation was plum full of misunderstandings. Give him a chance to explain before you sprint out of his life."

"I don't owe the man a thing," I say defiantly. I don't. I worked for him, we slept together a few times and beyond that there's nothing. What happened the other night extinguished any sparks between us.

She finishes the last of the wine before she yawns. "There are always two sides to every story, Den. If he wants to talk, hear him out. It can't hurt to do that, can it?"

I run my finger over my top lip. She has a point. If Tyler still wants to talk to me, I'll listen and then I'll tell him exactly where he can shove his righteous, judgmental attitude.