Spark (Heat #2)(11)

I manage a smile.

"I'll treat you to lunch one day next week," Tyler offers as a concession. "You pick the place. I'll pick up the tab."

She chuckles. "You drive a hard bargain but it's a deal, Chef. Lunch next week it is."





CHAPTER 9


I reluctantly step back into the empty building at Tyler's urging. This wouldn't be my first choice for a place to talk about what happened between us, but it's better than nothing. The sooner we come to an agreement about how we'll work together, the better. All I'm looking for is mutual understanding so when Nova reopens there's no residual tension gnawing at us. If that's not possible, I'm going to quit and start looking for a new job.

He turns to look at me. "I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I f*cked up this badly."

I try to stifle an unwanted, yet uncontrollable, smile.

"What the f*ck is wrong with me?"

I shrug, knowing it's a rhetorical question. If he actually wanted me to answer it, I would. I'd tell him that he's insanely jealous and territorial. I'd tell him that he let my past with Brendon forge a wedge between us.

"The fire messed me up." He exhales harshly. "I'm still numb. I keep expecting to wake up from this nightmare, but it's real."

"It is real." I stare up at him. "I know that it's been incredibly hard."

He studies my face. "I can't close my eyes without seeing the flames."

I want to tell him that it's the same for me, but I don't. I do see the flames, but I can chase them away by going for a walk or reading a book. I can escape the thought of them because my life is still intact. Tyler's isn't.

He runs an unsteady hand across his forehead. "I'm trying to keep it together for the employees but I'm hanging on by a thread. Hunter wants to rebuild. He's fronting the cost before insurance kicks in so I jumped on board. It's moving too fast and at the same time not fast enough. I want my restaurant back."

I look into his eyes. "I doubt I can fully understand everything you have to deal with right now."

"The other night was an escape from all of it. I stopped thinking about it when we were together. I felt relaxed for the first time since Nova… since I lost Nova. You helped me that night, Cadence. You let me feel something other than anger and hopelessness."

I tilt my head.

"You're an incredible woman." He swallows hard. "When I'm with you I feel this energy that I can't explain. It's right there between us. I know you feel it too."

I do feel it. It's palpable. I know other people sense it when they're near us. It's not enough though. It can't negate the things he said to me.

"I messed up when you said you didn't want to go to Magari."

"You did," I agree. "You made assumptions that weren't true."

"I know." He shoves his hand through his thick brown hair. "It was wrong. I feel sick for doing that to you but you need to understand what I saw in your face."

I raise my hand to my neck, my fingers resting against my skin. "What did you see in my face?"

"Anxiety," he offers as he pulls on the arm of the T-shirt he's wearing adjusting it on his bicep. "You had the same look on your face that night at Nova when I first asked you about Brendon."

I stare at his arms, at all the tattoos. I don't have any. I've never wanted to display myself in that way to the world. I've always tried to hide behind an apron or in my apartment.

"I made an assumption that you were hesitant because of another guy. I'm sorry about that. I realize now that you were just trying to protect me. You knew that walking into another restaurant so soon after losing Nova would drop me."

I breathe a sigh of relief, grateful for the apology even if the reasoning behind it is a stretch. I never considered that going to another restaurant would be too much for him, but I guess it makes sense.

He doesn't wait for me to respond. "I met my sister for dinner last night. I lasted less than five minutes inside the bistro by her place. The smells, the sounds, all of it was a reminder of Nova. We bailed and went to her place instead."

"It'll get easier," I offer with a sigh.

"Rebuilding Nova is a starting point." His chest expands as he draws in a deep breath. "That doesn't fix what happened between us. I need us back where we were before I lost it the other night."

"I had a life before I met you." I finally jump into the conversation full force. "It didn't involve bedding all the chefs in Manhattan."

He looks at me, his eyes searching. "I was out of line. You have every right to be pissed off at me."

I arch a brow. "You're right. I do."

"I want you all to myself, Cadence." His voice is deep, husky. "I get that you had a life before you met me. It's hard to not think about that."

"I can't erase my past."

"I know," he says quietly. "I can't erase mine either."

I'm tempted to ask about his past, specifically Neela. I want to know how long they were together and if he loved her, but I can't ask him that. If I do it gives him carte blanche to ask for more details about me and Brendon and that's a door that is now permanently closed and nailed shut.