Soldier Mine (Sons of War #2)(15)

But I did, and I know it.

The day passes quickly, and Todd shows up around three. To my reluctant delight, he’s got a girl with him. I go to his booth, and he looks up. His face is glowing. The girl across from him is a pretty brunette with green eyes and dimples.

“This is my sister,” he mumbles. “Claudia, this is Maya.”

“Nice to meet you Maya,” I say with a smile. “Can I get you guys anything?”

They order sodas and pie.

Young love renders them low maintenance, and I check on them every hour or so until my shift is over at seven. I’m not sure what to think exactly about Todd having a real girlfriend. It’s not just the fact that he’s growing up but that he’s developing a tie to the locals. It’s been a no-no for so long, I’m not quite ready to endorse something as innocent and temporary as first love.

We leave the diner and return home. My mind is caught between Todd growing up and Petr’s daily visits to the café. I’m feeling overwhelmed by both.

Todd doesn’t go anywhere without his phone, and he disappears into his room with the cat to text Maya. I deposit my tips, make him his evening bowl of stew and then sit down at the kitchen table.

Our budget is pretty straightforward. Usually, it takes me five minutes to run the numbers and ensure we have enough for the apartment, utilities, Todd’s school lunches, and groceries. I have a miscellaneous fund for clothes and anything else we need around the house.

I stare at the numbers without registering them. Todd has his Christmas present early – the iPhone – and I’ve got the funds set aside to send my mom a little something, too.

Blinking away thoughts, my gaze slides to the phone beside the notebook where I do my budget. Something’s been bothering me all day, and I have a feeling I know what.

For the first time in a very long time, I want to call Simon. It’s usually a duty I don’t care for, one I perform just to check in with him so he can tell my mom I’m okay. There’s a very small piece of me resigned to the life I live now, to running forever. I don’t rely on the government to take care of my problem.

Tonight, I really, really want Simon to tell me something good is happening. Or maybe to give me more than his normal response about how slow progress is with the government.

I want Todd to have the chance to date a girl. I want to go to the Thanksgiving feast without feeling guilty knowing I’m going to walk away from everyone here without so much as a farewell.

Picking up the phone, I go to my room and close the door. My stomach is twisting once more, my emotions in turmoil. I dial the number to Simon’s office and am transferred to him.

“Hey, it’s me,” I say with a quick glance to ensure the door is closed.

“Good to hear from you, Claudia,” Simon replies warmly. “Your mother wanted me to tell you she loves and misses you both.”

I smile, eyes watering at the thought of my mother. I haven’t seen her since we started running. “Tell her we love and miss her, too, Simon,” I whisper. “Any news?” I hold my breath, afraid to hope for good news and equally aware I’ll be devastated if there is none.

“I’m afraid not, Claudia.”

“No worries.”

“Call back in a week? After Thanksgiving.”

I should’ve considered things would be slower this week and probably for the next month as well, until after the New Year. “Sure.”

“Take care.”

I hang up.

This time, the news I’m expecting disturbs me. I’ve heard the same story for years now. It rarely pierces the wall around my emotions. I’m accustomed to being disappointed, to acknowledging the truth of my situation: I made one bad decision and my penance will probably last until I die.

Lying back on my bed, I stare at the ceiling. I want to cry, but the tears won’t come. I have the confirmation I needed, though. Whatever Petr’s intention is at the diner, I need to push him away. There’s no need for him to be affected when I leave.

I’m not worth remembering. I’m also not worth the risk.

“Hey, Claud!” Todd pounds on my door.

Sitting up, I do what I can to suppress my roiling emotions. “Yeah?”

“Can I go to Maya’s for dinner tomorrow night?”

It breaks my heart knowing he can’t get too attached, and I hurt to once more consider denying him the ability to make friends and be a normal teen. “You can,” I answer finally. “You will check in every fifteen minutes.”

“I know.” He gives an exasperated sigh.

Leaving my room, I try to drown my thoughts and emotions in watching television.



Petr is there when I arrive the next morning. I don’t look at him this time when I walk in and take more time than usual getting ready.

It’s stupid to avoid him. I mean, I don’t even know if he does like me more than he should. The best way to handle it is not to avoid him anyway but to pretend like there’s nothing between us.

Taking him his usual order, I set it down without speaking. He’s gazing at me. My focus is elsewhere, however, and I manage to leave before he has a chance to speak. He eats and drinks his coffee in silence. I stay behind my counter, but … I don’t really like it. I’m disappointed and uncertain why.

I’m not expecting him to come to one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Startled when he does, I look at him. “What’re you doing?” I ask suspiciously.