Snow(6)

“Great minds think alike.” It was Kate Jansen, coming up beside him in her too-small jacquard coat and knit cap.

“Or maybe we’re a couple of gluttons for punishment,” he said.

“Oh,” she retorted, “I’ve always been that.”

He waved a hand at the Rent-A-Ride counter. “Be my guest.”

“Thank you.”

Kate went to the counter and Todd filed in behind her. As if to emphasize the foolishness of driving in such weather, the few other customers at the desk were canceling their orders rather than picking up their vehicles. When the associate behind the counter finally called to Kate, it was already 6:30 P.M. Todd pulled out his cell phone and dialed Brianna’s number. It rang a number of times before she answered, sounding out of breath and distracted. Again, he pictured her scampering around the little house, scooping up Justin’s toys and stuffing unwashed clothes under the bed. This summoned image then segued into a real image—a memory—of lying in bed beside Brianna, the nakedness of her body accentuated by the pearl-colored moonlight pooling in through the bedroom windows. They were back in the old apartment in Greenwich Village, in a time before Justin was born, and they were both much younger and very much in love. He thought of the way she smelled in the sheets and the perfume fragrance of her hair fanned out along the plump pillows. He thought— “Hello?”

“Hey, Bree.” Suddenly, his throat was parched. “It’s me. Have you been watching the news?”

“You mean the weather? Because it’s coming down pretty hard here, too. Are the flights being held up?”

“They’ve been cancelled.”

“All of them?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” she said, and that was all she said. He knew she was disappointed for their son, but she was not talented enough—or she didn’t care enough?—to mask the subtle relief in her voice. This had promised to be a difficult weekend for the two of them.

“Listen,” he said, running a hand through his hair. The old stress was coming back to him in nauseating waves. “I’m renting a car and driving up. It’ll take most of the night but I’ll be there for Christmas morning.”

“Is that a good idea? The weather’s terrible, Todd.”

What do you care? he almost said, catching himself at the last minute.

“Unless I want to spend Christmas stranded in O’Hare, it’s the only option. And I want to see Justin.”

“Well,” she said, “he wants to see you, too.”

“Is he there? Can I talk to him?”

“He’s watching a Christmas special on television.”

“Can’t you put him on, Bree?”

He heard her expel a rasp of exasperated air. “Hold on,” she said, and set the phone down. Distantly, over the line, he could hear Brianna calling Justin’s name, followed by the blare of the television set in the background. Brianna came back on the line. “He’s coming.”

“Thanks, Bree.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Todd.”

There it is, he thought. Same old Bree, blaming me for the collapse of the world. As if this snowstorm was my own goddamn fault. Fuck you, Brianna.

But that wasn’t exactly fair, either. He’d f*cked up enough in their marriage to warrant such accommodation.

“Daddy!” Justin’s smallish voice came over the line, filled with a jouncing glee that shot like an arrow straight into Todd’s heart. He felt his knees grow weak.

“Hey, sport.”

“It’s snowing!”

“It’s snowing here, too. Pretty neat, huh?”

“Can we build a snowman when you come?”

“We can build a whole army of them.” His voice trembled.

“Are you on the airplane?”

“Not yet, buddy.”

“Mommy took me to the mall and we bought you a Christmas present.”

“Is that right?”

“But I’m not supposed to tell you what it is. Mommy said it would ruin the surprise.”

“Well,” he said, “I guess she’s right.”

“When are you coming, Daddy?”

He closed his eyes and swiped a set of fingers over the lids. “I’ll be there in the morning, sport. When you wake up.”

“Good,” said his son, “because I miss you.”

“Miss you, too, Justin. And I love you.”

“Love you, Dad!”

“Put your mom back on.”

“Bye!”

Brianna came back on the line. “He’s been talking about this for weeks, you know. We shouldn’t have told him beforehand. You should have just surprised him when you got here. This way—”

He cut her off, knowing all too well where she was going. “I won’t disappoint him, Brianna. I’ll be there. I promise.”

Again: that exasperated sigh. “I’ve told you a million times, Todd,” she said. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” And before he could respond, she said, “Be careful driving. Good-bye.” Then she hung up.

He glanced down at his cell phone, and at the flashing CALL ENDED on the screen. The hand holding the cell phone was shaking.