Snow(26)

She loved him but she didn’t know him. They lived in different cities and had their own lives. Had he slept with other women? Probably. Very likely, in fact. Had she slept with other men since the engagement? In fact, there’d been two. There had been the college professor whom she’d actually dated for several months, amused at how her abruptness had enchanted him. He was clumsy in bed but sadly grateful, which had been his downfall in the end. And then there had been the funky frat boy from the university with whom she’d spent a glorious yet tumultuous week. He’d been virile and overzealous, and their lovemaking session had left her feeling like she’d been riding a horse over the Rocky Mountains.

Six months ago, during a camping trip to the Great Smoky Mountains and following a brief and unsatisfying stint of lovemaking in some seedy, out-of-the-way roadside motel, she’d rolled over in bed and stared for a long, long time at Gerald’s profile while he pretended to sleep.

—Is this ever gonna happen? she’d asked him, her voice cracking the silence of the motel room like the crack of a whip.

—What’s that? he’d said.

—This whole wedding thing.

He’d gone silent, though his breathing was like a large jungle cat’s. After a long while, he’d said, We’ve been over this, Kate. We’re just not in the right place.

—If you don’t want to marry me, she’d told him, just say so. I won’t be mad. I just need to know.

Gerald had rolled over, the pitiable little mattress groaning beneath his weight.

—I love you, she’d said…and it had been true enough at the time and on that night. But what had been even more truthful was her request of him: to just say so. If it was never going to happen, she needed to know. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life in pantomime, in this lovers’ limbo. Her only twinge of personal regret was that she hadn’t been strong enough to leave him that night.

Glancing back at her reflection, she laughed at herself nervously. What kind of wacko was she? Thinking about all the times she’d been unfaithful to Gerald while trapped in a convenience store in the middle of goddamn rural nowhere…

“You’re f*cked in the head, lady,” she told herself before leaving.


“Do you think it’s safe to go out there, even if it’s just to go next door?” Todd asked. He was still peering out the windows, certain he was seeing the shadows across the square shifting around.

“We’d have to be quick,” said Fred. He was standing by the counter now, looking disappointedly at the one remaining box of ammo. “The door’s probably locked, too, so we’ll have to break in.”

“That’ll make noise,” Nan said. She was sitting on a stack of Coke cases, clutching her bottle of water in two hands. “Won’t those people come back?”

Against Todd’s suggestion, Fred had filled his wife in on what had happened while she slept. He’d left out the gory details, but the story was still enough to cause a permanent crease to form in the fleshy pocket between Nan’s eyes.

Hands on his hips, Todd turned away from the window and surveyed the store. “What if we waited till daylight?”

Fred shrugged. “What would daylight do except make us more visible?” He looked to Shawna. “Are they less active in daylight?”

“Ask Jared,” she said. “The guy you covered up in trash bags. I shot him three times in broad daylight. The sun didn’t seem to slow him any. They’re not f*cking vampires.” Shawna glanced in Nan’s direction and, embarrassed at her language, muttered, “Sorry.”

“Fuck it,” said Nan.

“Fuck what?” Kate said, coming out of the bathroom.

“You feeling okay?” Todd said. She looked hungover and worn out, like someone who’d just come down from a bender.

“I’m fine.”

Fred shuffled over to Shawna. “How about you? How’s that leg?”

Shawna was propped up on the checkout counter, her left leg wrapped in bandages that had turned a bright red at the center. “Won’t be running any marathons for a while, but I guess I’ll live.” She laughed nervously. “Or not.”

“You know…” Todd began, taking a step back and examining the row of freezer doors against the wall.

“What is it?” Kate asked.

He began stacking cases of soda in front of the freezer doors. “I’m just wondering…” There was a ventilation grate above the freezers, large enough for a man to squeeze through. He stood on the soda cases and peered through the slats of the grate. Of course, all he saw was darkness.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Fred said. “You think it goes straight through to the other side?”

“I put myself through law school in two ways,” Todd said. “The honest way was working construction during the summers. Old buildings like these, right up against each other—they share all the ductwork for the heating and air conditioning. They’ll have their own controls and vent shafts, but the main ductwork should be the same.”

“So the plan is to crawl through the wall into the gun shop?” said Shawna.

“There’s a gun shop next door?” Kate said. “Did I miss something?”

“I think it’ll work.” Todd was beaming; he could feel the stupid grin on his face as he looked at all of them. “It’s worth a try, anyway.”