Slow Hand (Hot Cowboy Nights, #1)(64)

“Do you have everything you need from me now, Iris? Is there anything I need to sign before I go?”

“Actually I do,” Iris replied. “Allison Evans faxed over some paperwork.”

“Is that it?” Nikki asked after signing the listing contract.

“Yes. I think that’s everything for now,” Iris replied. “From this point we should be able to take care of all the rest by email, fax, or FedEx.”

“How long should it take?”

“Probably three to four months, but Wade could tell you better.”

“I don’t believe I’ll be seeing Wade again,” Nikki said tightly.

“Then here’s his card in case you have any other questions.” Iris pressed it onto Nikki’s palm. “Maybe you should go ahead and give him a call before you go?”

“I don’t think there’s anything that can’t wait until I get home.”

“That so?” Iris replied with a sad shake of her head. “More’s the pity.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I thought maybe the two of you—”

“No,” Nikki said. “There’s no chance of that…not anymore.”

*

After leaving Wade’s office, Nikki drove into Sheridan to collect her father’s ashes from the mortuary, and then returned to the cabin for the very last time. A huge “for sale” sign greeted her at the end of the drive. Allie certainly hadn’t wasted any time. Although Nikki knew she’d never return to this place, her throat still tightened at the finality.

She didn’t go inside this time but unloaded a box and headed straight to the river. On the bank she set down the box and unpacked the urn. Struggling for balance, she hopped from rock to rock until she reached a large boulder in the middle of the river. Although his will hadn’t specified, Nikki knew intuitively that this was what he would have wanted.

She sat in a reflective silence before slowly sprinkling the ashes into the Ruby River.

“Good-bye, Daddy,” she whispered, closing her eyes in an effort to lose herself in the peaceful sounds of rushing water. But rather than finding comfort, she felt doubly bereft. It was as if she mourned not only the passing of a father she’d barely known, but a love that might have been.

She consoled herself that soon this entire episode of her life would all be a distant memory. By this time tomorrow, she’d be landing at Hartsfield-Jackson International. Given time, Wade’s image would eventually fade from her mind, but his mark would remain branded on her heart.

*

Nikki’s thoughts were still filled with Wade when she boarded the plane in Bozeman Friday morning. Although he’d made no effort to contact her again, a secret part of her fantasized that he’d show up at the airport at the last minute and sweep her into his arms like a scene from a sappy romantic movie.

When he failed to appear, reality stuck her hard—it was truly over. Once more, he’d had the last word. Damn him to hell!

She congratulated herself again for being strong, for saving herself inevitable heartbreak. But why was it so hard to breathe?

She arrived back in Atlanta late that afternoon, thankful that her return flight wasn’t as traumatic as the one that had taken her to Montana. After an uneventful landing, Nikki collected her bags and boarded the MARTA for Decatur. Although bustling with people, it seemed so lifeless. Lost in her thoughts, she stared sightlessly out at the urban landscape; the towering skyscrapers, the graffiti-covered concrete walls, and the bumper-to-bumper commuter traffic. She realized she missed the mountains and two-lane highways, and came perilously close to missing her transfer station.

Arriving in Decatur, she walked four blocks, passing St. Agnes College, several quaint coffee shops, and the bohemian boutiques she’d frequented in the years since she’d left Toccoa. She’d always liked Decatur, but now she viewed everything with emotional detachment. It was quaint, affordable, and convenient, and she’d always felt at home in the college town, but she’d never thought she’d still be living in the same college apartment at almost twenty-nine. She’d assumed she’d be settled in a nice little house in one of the better burbs by now, maybe even with a couple of kids. Why hadn’t she moved on? It seemed all her friends had.

She’d doggedly insisted her life was here, but what had she really returned to?

What kept her rooted to a job she hated under a boss she despised?

Was it fear of losing control as Wade suggested? Fear of dependency on another? Was this really why she’d walked away from Wade without giving it a real chance? When had she become such a coward? Her life had followed the same patterns for so long but change had come to her whether she’d wanted it or not.

She could hardly believe how radically her circumstances had altered almost overnight. Soon she’d have financial security she’d never dreamed of. Although she wouldn’t have full access to the money until the estate closed, she was already able to draw enough to pay her bills. Before long she’d be able to replace her POS car, pay off all her credit cards, student loans—and even quit her job if she wanted to. Maybe she’d go back to school to get her MBA or look for a new job.

But then what? The question lingered in the back of her mind. She hadn’t a clue.

Life was all about choices now. She could start over again. How many people ever got to do that? What did she really want? It wasn’t the big house in Dunwoody and a shiny new SUV. Expensive jewelry and designer clothes wouldn’t satisfy her. She’d never been the materialistic type. Travel to exotic places didn’t interest her, probably because she hated to fly.