Slow Hand (Hot Cowboy Nights, #1)(59)

“Got a house or do you rent?” he asked.

“I rent.”

“Got a dog?”

“Nope.”

“A cat?”

She shook her head.

“How about a goldfish?”

She laughed outright this time.

“Then what’s keeping you there?” he asked.

“What are you suggesting? That I just stay here in Montana?”

He shrugged. “It’s not so bad. I think it might even grow on you if you give it a chance, though Bozeman might be a better fit for you since you’re a city girl.”

“But what would I even do with myself? What is there for me here?”

“Do you really need to ask?” He bent his head and plied a warm kiss to her neck. “I’d sure like to think I could make it worth your while to stay.”

She shook her head, tamping down the shiver of lust. She wondered what it would be like to spend every night with him. To spend her life with him. His suggestion both thrilled and scared her witless. “I can’t believe you’re even saying this. We’ve only known each other a few days.”

“Long enough for me to know I don’t want you to go yet.”

Yet. Nikki latched onto that word and held it tight as she pulled once more out of his arms. “Why try to turn this into something that could never work out? Your life is here and mine is a couple thousand miles away. For all that, it might as well be in the next galaxy.”

“It’s not so complicated, Nikki. You’ve just said so yourself. People do it all the time. Move to new places. Start over. Just look at Bill and Paula.”

“The couple from the restaurant?”

“Yeah. They had a life in Hawaii. Now they have a new one in Montana. Doesn’t sound like there’s much to hold you in Georgia, is there?”

“How can you expect me to just walk away from my entire life?”

“Why can’t you trust in this, Nikki? Why can’t you trust me?”

Trust. How many times had she made that mistake before—trusted pretty words and promises? Though she wanted to believe Wade, she couldn’t suppress the doubts. Nikki clenched her teeth, her protective instincts kicking in full force. Why would he want her when no one else ever had?

“Maybe because it’s too good to be true. Damsel in distress is rescued by a charming cowboy in his not-so-gleaming white pickup and they live happily ever after?”

“Why not?” he said.

“Because it’s a fairy tale, Wade. I don’t believe in fairy tales.”

“Bullshit,” he hissed and spun her around. “Don’t try to feed me that line. You think whatever this is comes along every day? I’ve sure as hell not experienced it. You can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away, ’cause I won’t let you, and it won’t anyway. We fit. Can’t you see that?”

Hope it goes away? In time she hoped it would, but right now the ache in her chest was excruciating. “You say all these things now. Maybe you even mean them now, but it will all change. I already know it can’t last. Feelings always fade with time.”

“Why do you want to believe that? Why are you fighting me when all I want to do is prove this is real? That I want you?” He made an exasperated sound. “Damn it, Nicole! Do I look like a man who doesn’t know his own mind?”

“But it can’t work,” she insisted. “I have no family here, no friends, and no connections. I’d only have you and I don’t like the idea of being totally dependent on one person.”

“Because it requires trust?” he said. “How can you be so cynical? Hell, if anyone has cause for cynicism it’s me. Yet, here I stand with open arms.”

He spread them wide and her heart slammed in her chest. It was all she could do not to throw herself into his arms, but this whole idea was crazy. Common sense held her back.

“Please,” she pleaded. “Let’s not ruin this with pointless arguments. I’m going to take care of my father and then I’m going back home to Georgia.”

“Are you sure that’s what you really want?”

No. It wasn’t what she really wanted, but she’d made far too many mistakes from emotional decisions. It would be so easy to let go…to let herself believe in him but she refused ever again to let her feelings overrule her good sense.

“How can I possibly know what I want?” she replied. “For the first time, I’m going to have the freedom to do whatever I like. Now I need time to figure out exactly what that is.”

She ventured to the window to look out over the shimmering river. “I think I’ll bring his ashes back here to the river. It’s what drew him to Montana, after all. I can’t help feeling it’s what he would have wanted.”

“He didn’t state a preference so the choice is yours.”

She turned back from the window and announced, “I’m going to check out of the Moriah and stay here for a few days.”

“Here?”

“Yes. I might as well. The electricity is still on, isn’t it?”

“Nothing’s been disconnected yet,” Wade replied.

“Then it makes no sense for me to pay for a motel. It’ll still be a couple of days before I get the death certificate so I’d like to use this opportunity to go through his personal effects. It’s going to take some time and I only have a few days to do it. When the death certificate arrives, I’ll go back to Sheridan and take care of the arrangements for his cremation.”