Sins, Lies & Spies (Black Brothers #2)(32)

“We should know something in a few days,” he said.

I nodded, watching the white number on the screen as it ticked upward like a countdown to something. Whether it’d be good or bad, I couldn’t say. The fingers of my free hand plucked nervously at the hem of my dress. When the elevator dinged and the doors glided open, the air punched out of my lungs. I reminded myself I was in control and nothing would happen I didn’t want.

We walked out of elevator and Knox froze mid-stride. He released my hand, and I missed the heat. The comfort.

I glanced at him, then in front of us and my heart stumbled inside my chest. A woman with long blonde hair stood next to his door. She instantly sized me up as competition. I didn’t wait for her judgment. I looked away. I didn’t need a mirror to realize I looked like a mess. Without a doubt, I had mascara smeared down my face. Half of my hair had escaped my braid. My dress was hopelessly wrinkled.

“Brenna, why are you here?” Knox snapped, his jaw tightening.

Her gaze drifted back and forth between Knox and me. “I wanted to talk. I hated the way things ended last time.”

He jammed his key into the door, the vein in the side of his neck pulsing. “We’ve already talked, Brenna. There’s nothing left to say. I understand your point of view, and I’m pretty sure you understand mine.”

Slowly, she shook her head from side to side. “I wanted to apologize about pushing for more.”

Knox pushed the door open. “Is that all?”

Her hands glided up and down her legs. “Um.”

Knox braced his hand on the doorjamb and cocked his head toward me. “Because, in case you didn’t notice, I have company.”

Her hands fluttered to her chest, then she clasped them behind her back. “Are you seeing her now?”

I didn’t want to hear his answer regardless of what he said. Our relationship consisted of an unpredictable mix of hostility and desire, and I needed to get away from both of them before the uncomfortable feeling coiling in my gut motivated me to do or say something I’d regret. I dipped under his outstretched arm, darted into his shadowy apartment and flipped on the light switch.

“Knox, I’m going to sleep. It’s been a long day. We can talk later.” The words scraped like shrapnel across my tongue.

He frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I answered. My voice was stiff, my smile stiffer.

Clearly, Knox was free to do what he wanted with whomever he wanted. Yet, a small part of me wanted to demand he follow me inside. Resisting the urge, I tried to close the door before he could object. He had other ideas. With the palm of his hand, he kept it propped open. In one seamless move, he bent his head and brushed his mouth warmly against mine in a brief kiss.

“I’ll only be a few minutes,” he said as he closed door, leaving me stunned and more than a little confused.

My feelings for him simultaneously frightened and excited me. A small reckless part of me wanted to seize the moment and take whatever Knox offered, even if it only lasted for one night. The logical part of me knew I needed more time to sort out my attraction to him. If Knox were standing in front of me, I had no doubt the reckless side of me would win, but he wasn’t and logic won, which meant I couldn’t waste a second.

I needed to be asleep by the time Knox returned or at least in a position where I could feign sleep. I ran down the hall and snagged a shirt from his closet. In the hall bathroom, I changed my clothes and finger brushed my teeth while studying my reflection in the mirror. I was a wreck. All semblance of color had disappeared from my face. My makeup made my eyes look like black holes. To top it off, I felt physically ill. Sighing, I scrubbed my face with soap and water and settled onto the living room sofa. I curled in a ball on my side, pulled a throw blanket over my legs and closed my eyes.

By the time I heard the door open twenty minutes later, my heartbeat had slowed, and my eyelids were heavy. His leather-soled shoes shuffled over the hardwood floor, and even with my eyes closed, I could feel him standing at the foot of the sofa, staring at me. I was more aware of him than I’d ever been of another person in my life. It went beyond the remedial training Miles provided me.

He leaned forward, his face moving closer to mine. My heart lurched with panic, swelling and pressing against my lungs, making it hard to suck in air. I curled my hands into fists underneath the blanket. It took all of my willpower not to open my eyes. I wanted this day to end before I compounded the damage to my already turbulent life.

Please don’t touch me.

I need to be alone tonight.

I need to think.

As though he heard my unspoken thoughts, he released a weary sigh and walked away. I didn’t move a single muscle until I heard the telltale click of the bedroom door.





CHAPTER EIGHTEEN




Knox



Restless. Wired. Pissed off. That’s how I felt as I watched the minutes tick by on my alarm clock. I couldn’t sleep. From two to five in the morning, I saw every hour; every minute. Thank f*ck there wasn’t a second hand because I would’ve ripped my hair out hours ago. At five-thirty, I gave up pretending my eyes would close, and put on my running gear.

When I stepped out the front door of my building, deep purple streaks painted the sky. The crescent moon played hide and seek with the clouds. I loved the early morning when the streets and sidewalks were nearly empty.