Sins, Lies & Spies (Black Brothers #2)(31)

I should’ve argued with Knox, but I didn’t have the energy. I wanted to get away from my house, and agreeing to stay with him for the night was the fastest way to make it happen.

“I need to make some calls,” Knox said, squeezing my thigh. “Wait here.”

My stomach rolling in nonstop waves, I nodded absently, unable to do anything except stare at Max. I loved that cat. The first morning after I moved into this place, I found Max purring outside my front door. I had tried to get him to go away, but he was stubborn, and he had refused to leave. After a week of him waking me up every morning, I left a bowl of water for him outside my front door. After another week, I added a bowl of food. By the end of the month, Max became my roommate. Now, he’d ended up dead just because he trusted me.

A sob bubbled out of my mouth.

I couldn’t take this.

Oh God. Oh God.

How the hell did this happen?

What did I do to deserve this?

I felt like someone had reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart. My rapid-fire breaths echoed in my ears. The edges of my vision blurred then narrowed to a pinprick. My fingers tingled like a thousand ants were crawling inside of my veins. Sweat beaded on my forehead. The lump in my throat tripled in size. Shit. I was having a full-blown panic attack. While they’d been a common occurrence when I moved to D.C., I hadn’t experienced one in over a year.

I needed to ground myself in the moment to stop it. I closed my eyes, concentrating on taking slow even breaths. Then I rubbed my hands back and forth on the soft velvet sofa cushions, focusing on the way the plush strands brushed underneath my fingertips. I listened to the deep rumble of Knox’s voice as he talked on the phone.

“Trinity.” Knox’s hands pressed into my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

My fingernails dug into the sofa. “No,” I rasped, the word sticking in my throat. “Not even close.”

He laced his fingers through mine and yanked me to my feet. “Let’s wait outside. The fresh air will make you feel better.”

“I’m open to anything,” I mumbled, following him out of the door. “I’m losing my mind and my heart feels like it’s going to explode inside my chest.”

He pulled me into an embrace, tucking my head underneath his chin. Relief seeped through my veins, warming me from the inside out. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find out who did this.”

His hand moved up and down my back in slow, even strokes. I should’ve walked away from him. This was wrong. He didn’t want me in his life. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I should’ve felt the same way. But it felt right to have him soothe me. Comfort me. I didn’t want to move away. I wanted him to hold me tighter, prop me up, and support me.

I melted into him, tuning out the world around me. With every brush of his hand, my heart slowed, and my breathing calmed. All I wanted was to move closer to him, crawl inside him, feel him, and be with him. My intuition told me he’d keep me safe. He’d keep my sister safe. I could trust him. I needed to trust someone. I couldn’t do this alone, and I wanted him in my corner.

I lifted my head. His gaze was bluer, deeper and more intense than ever before. “I…” The words wouldn’t come.

“Shh. You don’t need to say anything,” he said, his deep, smoky voice dropping low. “We’ll figure this out before anything happens to you or Faith.”

“Thank for helping me,” I whispered, finally managing to get the words out of my mouth.

The corners of his mouth tipped upward, and he nodded. “You’re welcome, Jones.”

On impulse, I rose up onto my toes and pressed a kiss against his lips. I wanted to know what it’d feel like to kiss him without any pretenses.

No Miles lurking around the corner.

No need to hide my gun.

Nothing.

Just us.

Just one kiss.

He didn’t respond for a heart-cleaving moment, and rejection twisted my insides. I eased backward, but just as quickly one of his hands clamped around my wrist and the other around my waist.

He shook his head, his eyes heavy-lidded. The silhouette of his midnight lashes shaded the sharp angles of his cheekbones. He looked delicious. “Don’t stop now,” he said, his voice husky. A shiver zipped down my spine

“I…” And there went my ability to speak again.

Pulling me against him, he ducked his head, and before I registered his intent, his lips were on my mouth again. He skimmed his lips over mine.

Once.

My eyes fluttered closed.

Twice.

I moaned softly.

Three times.

My hands curled into the lapels of his jacket.

Then, he stopped.

My eyes popped open. “Can you do that again?”

With twitching lips, he tugged me against his chest. “Later,” he whispered next to my ear, deep and with so much promise I thought I’d spontaneously combust. “Right now, I need to talk to these guys, and then we’ll leave.”

I peeked over his shoulder and saw three men standing on the sidewalk with their backs turned to us. Heat rushed up my neck. “Oh, okay.” I glanced at his car. “I’ll wait in the car.”

***

With our hands threaded together, he guided me into the elevator of his building. He asked me a few questions about Derrick and Miles during the car ride here, but for the most part, we sat together in silence.