Since She Went Away(99)

“Good,” Jared said.

Jenna looked at the two of them. They looked perfect together. Battered and torn but perfect. She’d do anything for either one of them.

“I’m going to my room,” she said. “I’m sure you guys can—well, there’s a futon in the spare room, Natalie, but . . . whatever.”

She turned and went to bed.





CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO


The morning sun leaked through the blinds.

Jared came awake, blinking his eyes against the light.

He held Natalie’s body tight against his own, her breathing soft and even. Their clothes lay in a pile on the floor, and Jared realized he still wore the limp, wet condom. He made a mental note to thank Mike for giving him a couple when he first started spending time with Natalie along with the advice “Better safe than sorry.” Jared never dreamed he’d actually get to use them.

He stared at the ceiling. Natalie had shown him the way, guiding him through everything with patience and understanding. Once they started, Jared understood that certain instincts just took over. People had been performing the act for . . . however long there’d been people. He felt a momentary ease, lying there in the bed, a sense of amazement unlike anything else he’d ever experienced.

Natalie snuggled closer. Her eyes came open as she rubbed her hand over his pale, bony chest. Very little hair, and even fewer muscles. He knew he didn’t look like anyone on TV or in the movies, and it didn’t matter.

“Are you okay?” Natalie asked. “Go back to sleep.”

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Mmmm.”

He couldn’t tell if she was still awake. “You know, I’ll see you wherever you are. I promise.”

“I know.”

“I can travel at school breaks and stuff.”

“Sure.”

“Hey,” Jared said. “I have something for you.”

He went over to his desk, trying not to feel self-conscious of his bare butt, and opened the top drawer. He came back to bed and handed a photograph to Natalie.

“I found that in the house when I went in looking for you,” he said. “I thought you’d want it.”

Natalie held the photo, her eyes filling with tears. She lifted her hand to her mouth and just stared at the image of her mother. Then she leaned over and threw her arms around Jared’s neck, pulling him tight.

“That’s the sweetest thing,” she said. “This is my favorite picture of her.”

She held on to him. And he let himself be held. The sex had felt better than he could have imagined. And so did the tight embrace.

“She looks just like you,” he said.

“Everybody says that.”

They held each other for a while. When they let go, Natalie kept glancing at the photo, the tears wiped from her face.

Jared finally asked the question that had been on his mind. “Do you think my mom heard us?” he asked.

“No. And I don’t think she’d care. She practically let us sleep together.”

“That’s true.”

Jared tried not to think too much about his mom while he lay in bed with his naked girlfriend just after losing his virginity, but thoughts of her came through again. He knew she wouldn’t have turned a blind eye to them sleeping together under just any circumstances. But she understood the world, she understood how difficult things had been for Natalie. Given what had happened to Celia, his mom probably understood better than just about anybody alive.

Life is short. Time is short. You never know.

“What about Detective Poole?” Jared asked. “She’s a cop. She hears everything.”

“She probably ignored it.” Natalie looked at the clock. “My escorts from the foster system haven’t shown up yet. Maybe they believe in young love too. It is almost Valentine’s Day.”

“How romantic,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

He took care of the condom and then pulled on shorts and a T-shirt. Natalie tugged the covers higher up on her body and said, “Don’t be gone long.”

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

“I want you to pee if you have to. But do it quickly. I’m not crazy about being alone.”

Jared bent down and kissed her on the forehead. He eased the door open and stepped softly toward the end of the hall. He stuck his head around the doorframe. Detective Poole sat in a chair, reading a magazine. She looked up.

“Hey, tiger,” she said.

“Hey.”

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

“Bathroom trip.”

The detective nodded, a small smile on her face. “I understand.” She looked at her watch. “The child welfare folks are backed up. You probably have another hour together.”

“Thanks. You look tired.”

“I’m no spring chicken. But I can sit a watch with the best of them. Even now.” She tossed the magazine aside. “Go on. Time’s wasting.”

“Thanks.” Before he went in the bathroom, he moved over toward his mom’s closed bedroom door, pressing his ear against it. He didn’t hear anything. Satisfied, he went back to the bathroom and stepped in.

While he peed, he tried to maintain the sense of euphoria the sex brought on but found it slipping away. True—Natalie was safe. That was the only thing that mattered. She was safe and away from her father. Even in foster care or whatever system they’d place her in, she’d be safer there than out on the road with a maniac. But she’d be going anytime, maybe forever. He felt the hole in his heart growing and spreading like a crater.