Silent Child(16)

Sonya sighed. “No, I wouldn’t. You’re right.”

But there was a note of disagreement in her voice. She didn’t believe I was right at all, but I didn’t know why.

*

I fell asleep in the chair in Aiden’s hospital room that night. Managing that was a feat in itself, given the uncomfortable nature of the chair and the uncomfortable nature of my pregnancy. But the body takes what it wants, and I wanted sleep. It was Dr Schaffer who woke me after 11pm. Jake slipped my coat over my arms and they ushered me out. Aiden needed rest. It had been a long day for him. While I had slept, Aiden had sat up awake, either watching me or watching television.

I thought I would feel more human after a night in my own bed, a hot shower, and some real food—not hospital canteen food—but that Friday morning I woke still feeling half-conscious, like I was living in a dream world. It was only the occasional kick from Bump that reminded me everything was real. Aiden really was alive, and he really had been captured and kept like a performing bear. Every time I thought about it, the cereal churned in my stomach.

Jake took the day off school and drove me to the hospital. It was a day of x-rays and scans. I saw Aiden standing up for the first time, and my breath caught when I realised just how short he was. There was a stiffness to the way he walked, like he didn’t quite know what to do with his legs. I made a joke about how I walked funny because of the bump, but Aiden didn’t laugh. I even waddled as I walked, pretending I was far bigger than what I was.

“We’d like to take a better look at Aiden’s ankle today,” said Dr Schaffer. “We’d like to check some of his other bones, too, so we’ll be sending him off for some x-rays. Then we’ll draw a little blood, and afterwards a child psychologist is coming to spend some time with him.”

A prickling sensation worked its way over my skin. “I don’t want him to be a study. He’s not some feral child brought up by wolves. He’s my son, not a name in a paper.”

“I agree completely,” said Dr Schaffer, tilting his head down to show gravitas. “But I do think that the psychologist will help. Aiden is going to need some therapy.”

That I couldn’t argue with.

“Can I be with him during the x-rays?” I asked.

But before I could answer, the door to the room burst open and a small, surprised breath left my body. I was vaguely aware of Jake turning his head towards me with a frown on his face, but mostly, I stood staring at the man who’d entered. It’d been almost eight years since I’d last seen Rob. We’d spoken around the time Aiden was declared legally dead, but apart from that we rarely made contact with each other, though that didn’t stop Sonya giving me updates of his progression through the army. He had joined shortly after Aiden’s apparent drowning in the Ouse.

Rob stopped dead just inside the door. His gaze was focussed entirely on Aiden, and I saw a sheen of moisture over his eyes, turning them to glass. He knew, like I had, like Sonya had. He knew this was his son.

“Aiden,” he whispered.

I managed to control my breathing, but my heart raced. Rob was a large man, filling the doorway with his bulk. The army had beefed him up even more than the last time I saw him. He wore boots, jeans, and a black leather jacket, well-worn and frayed at the edges. His brown hair was shorter than ever, and his deep chestnut brown eyes were all Aiden.

“It’s him, Rob,” I said. “It’s really him.”

My ex-lover’s eyes finally moved from our son to me, and a shiver worked its way down my spine. In that moment I knew he understood how I’d felt as I’d walked into this very same room and seen my son back from the dead, and the intensity of that experience seemed to hit us both. When Rob’s knees began to buckle, I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. It wasn’t anything I thought about. In that moment I forgot all about Jake—who no doubt felt useless standing back watching his wife embrace another man. The problem was, Jake didn’t know what I was feeling as well as Rob did, and it was Rob’s arms I needed around me. Before I knew it, I was crying on Rob’s shoulder, and he was crying on mine, and for the most fleeting of instants, I almost felt as though I had a family again.

“Mum told me everything before I came,” he said as he pulled back.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and cleared my throat. “Everything?”

He nodded. “I’m going to tear that monster apart when I find him.”

I glanced nervously back to Aiden. “Not here, Rob.” I kept a sharp warning tone in my voice.

He ran his hands over his face. “You’re right.” Aiden had seen enough violence. We didn’t need to add to it with our words. Rob bent low and opened his arms towards his son, who was hanging back next to Dr Schaffer on the other side of the room. “Hiya mate, how you doing? Remember me? You don’t have to say anything, pal, it’s okay. I’m your dad, okay? Sorry I wasn’t here yesterday. Hey, did you know I fly helicopters now? Remember that helicopter I got for you? It got stuck in Mum’s hair and then we weren’t allowed to play with it inside again, remember?” He let out a little laugh at the memory. I remembered it well. Its propellers had taken a chunk out of my hair. I shook my head a little and laughed. I’d been so mad with them both, but they’d looked at me with the same puppy dog expression and my heart had melted.