Semper Mine (Sons of War #1)(73)

I want to be yours.

Fuck! I’ve wanted her to be mine for months, to cart her off and prove to her how good we could be together.

I get lost in her body, in her sighs. The breathless way she cries my name before she comes, the softness of her skin. My god, I’m intoxicated by the sweet, addictive taste of her core. On her back, her belly, her side, doggy-style, cowgirl … on the bed and off … I can’t get enough of her and feel my self-control sizzle in her fire as I try. I need to explore every part of her body, to memorize each curve and hollow, so that, when I do return to Iraq, I have something to tide me over until the next time I see her.

She’s wild, uninhibited, as up for a challenge in bed as well as real life: From the way she touches me and holds my gaze when she swallows me when I come, to her throaty moans of pleasure and how she pushes me, as if not wanting to give me the chance to recover my restraint.

It takes another three hours before we’re sated enough to stop, and I lower myself on top of her after another powerful climax. Sweating and utterly relaxed, I kiss her jawline. Her breathing is ragged, her fingers trailing down my back and arms light enough to tickle. Her inner thighs are trembling against my hips. I plan on f*cking her until neither of us can walk at some point over the next two weeks, maybe when I’m better able to control my desire.

Like that will happen. The attraction is too intense for either of us, always has been.

Wrapping my fingers through her curls, I close my eyes, unable to remember a time when I was so relaxed and content.

She traces my hairline with a finger and idly scratches the back of my neck. I know if I look, her features will be radiant, sexy beyond belief. Still inside her body, I can’t recall sex every being so intimate or noticing how warm a woman’s skin was, how much I love hearing her whisper my name with such need, I never want to leave her bed. I’ve never wanted to give up my self-restraint or thought I’d find someone who made me want to ditch it.

“I never thought we’d be here like this,” she whispers. I feel some of the same awe she expresses. “Sawyer.” She cups my cheeks and lifts my head. “What happens in two weeks?”

I can see her fear. Smoothing hair from her face, I offer a small smile.

“I go back until April,” I reply honestly. “After which I’ll rotate back.”

“What does that mean for … us?”

“You’re still mine, baby, even if I’m away.”

She smiles at this.

“I’m career military,” I remind her more gently. “I’ll have many more deployments and will likely move around every few years. It’s not an easy life, Katya, and I can’t afford a place big enough for all your shoes.” I really can’t get over her shoes. Petr says she collects then donates them to charity. I guess that qualifies as a hobby for someone this wealthy, but how many pairs of shoes can one person own?

She chews her lower lip, pensive.

My heart is hammering at her hesitation. But I’d rather have this talk now, before things get serious.

Things are already serious, for me at least. I knew when I showed up for coffee last night that I’m already looking twenty years into the future. I’m not sure she’s thinking of what it really means to be with me. I’m not confident she’s willing to give up a mansion for officer housing.

When the f*ck did I go from sleeping with her one night to marrying her? I don’t exactly know how coffee turned into something more. I can see us being together like that, though. It’s way too natural for it not to be a real possibility.

“We’ll just enjoy the two weeks together,” I say when she doesn’t speak. I drop my forehead to the pillow and breathe in her scent. “Do you want to go out and visit Mikael?”

“Yes.”

I swallow emotions I don’t want to feel, mainly the pain of rejection that’s starting to form. I’m going to spend my two weeks with her. If she doesn’t want anything else, then I’ll go.

“I’ll take a quick shower.” I withdraw from her warm depths, feeling a little cold inside, and kiss her quickly on the forehead.

There’s a stone in my lower belly, one that makes me wonder if I made a mistake coming back.

No. She’s worth it. Whatever time I have with her, I’ll value. The ache at my core is one of regret and sorrow. She’s the kind of girl you never get over, no matter how much time passes. I know that now.

I take a hot shower. It’s long for me, about fifteen minutes. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to stay in for thirty like she does. It feels good, though, and I relax and let the scalding water wash over me.

When I get out, I pull on jeans and leave the bathroom. At first, I don’t see her anywhere. The door is closed and locked from the inside, so I stop and listen for an indication of which of her closets she’s in.

Rustling comes from her shoe closet. I walk to the doorway and lean against the frame, arms folding across my chest as I watch her curiously. She’s dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and appears to be rearranging her shoes.

Is this what she does when she’s upset? I have no idea. There are two pairs on the island at one end of the closet.

“Is Petr going to be upset that you’re disrupting his system?” I ask.

She shoots me a dirty look. “They’re my shoes!”