Semper Mine (Sons of War #1)(54)

We stand in silence for a few minutes, gazing at Mikael’s tombstone.

“Bet he’s built an obstacle course in heaven by now,” Petr says.

“Probably.”

“It’ll suck without my help.”

I giggle. My brothers were best friends but also super competitive.

“I invited all the guys back for the Christmas party. I think everyone is coming, except Captain Mathis. He doesn’t really take leave.”

“I’m not surprised.” I’m not sure how, but my heart feels like it’s breaking even more. It’s in so many pieces, it has to be dust by now.

“No? I figured you’d want him here.”

“Why?”

“You guys got along well.” Petr laughs.

I roll my eyes.

“He’s got time to change his mind.”

“He won’t,” I say softly.

“Does that bother you?”

“None of your damn business!”

“Oh, shit. One of those. I thought you were dating the neighbor. What’s his name? Oliver?”

“Yeah. Nothing serious,” I reply. My therapist thought it was a good idea for me to get out more. Oliver asked and I said yes. We’ve kissed a few times, and he’s a nice guy.

He doesn’t move me the way Sawyer did. I don’t think anyone ever will. I’m really good at messing up friendships and relationships. I shouldn’t be hurting about him, considering we didn’t have anything going on at all.

“You didn’t invite Harris, did you?” I ask, eyeing my brother.

“No.” A flash of something goes through his gaze. For a split second, I almost suspect he knows about Harris slapping me.

“Good. Take Brianna off the list. You deserve so much better,” I tell him. “And I won’t have to beat her up again.”

“Brave little Kitty-Khav.” He squeezes me closer. “You like your new job?”

“A lot.” I perk up. “Baba even sends me official checks.”

He chuckles. “What do you have planned for next year?”

“Tons of stuff!” I thought I’d enjoy helping manage the charity organization my father set up. I had no idea I’d love it. “Fleecing everyone in the state at fundraising dinners, a race, four iterations of camp next summer, one for each age group and a scholarship fund for military kids. I’ve been talking to the governor’s office and two huge sponsors.” It doesn’t hurt that my father opens his checkbook to fund whatever I want.

“You’re definitely going to improve lives.”

“Yeah.” My eyes return to Mikael’s grave. “It helps. And Brianna can’t say I haven’t done anything with my life.”

“She won’t be around anymore, so you don’t have to worry about showing her up.”

“You break up for good?”

“We did. You may have been right about her all along,” he allowed.

“Oh, really? It only took you four years to figure that out?” I slap his chest lightly. “Maybe next time you’ll listen to me!”

He laughs, his blue eyes sparkling. “I always listen, Kitty-Khav. I just do whatever I want. Kind of like you.”

I glare at him.

“Am I wrong?” he challenges. “I think that’s why Captain Mathis liked you. You’re so passionate and strong.”

“Liked me?” I shake my head. As much as the idea thrills me, I know for a fact it’s not true. “He was being nice to me because he killed Mikael.”

“Jesus, Katya.” He laughs. “Okay, never mind.”

He doesn’t know that talking about Sawyer hurts me. It’s not his fault, but I’ll be happy when he stops bringing him up.

“Come on. Let’s get some ice cream.” Petr loops his arm through mine and starts walking back towards the gate and the house.

This, too, has become a daily tradition of ours. We meet up in the afternoons for ice cream or cookies. Petr spends a couple hours a day at the gym on our property, so I’m pretty sure he can eat them and be fine. I’ve had to start walking in addition to my usual yoga routine to make sure my weight stays where I want it.

We’re finishing our treat when Oliver is led in by the butler. Tall with curly dark hair and a quick smile, he’s the son of the family that lives about ten miles down the road in the exclusive estates where we live.

“Hi Katya, Petr. Am I interrupting?” Oliver asks.

“Not at all,” Petr says. “Go have fun.” He leaves the kitchen.

I hop off the stool at the breakfast bar and gaze up at Oliver. He’s the opposite of Sawyer in pretty much every way. He’s open, friendly and so laid back, even I can’t get a rise out of him. He lets me call the shots and seems content hanging out. He’s a great listener, too, though I rarely tell him anything private.

I should like him more than I do, but I don’t feel the same compelling pull towards him that I did Sawyer. I don’t think a pull like that is healthy, given how things turned out between us. I’d still prefer to have something more than the comfortable yet unenthused response my body has to Oliver.

It’ll never be serious between us. I want to be burned up with fire for whomever I date next. Oliver barely causes a spark.