Semper Mine (Sons of War #1)(24)
Hmm. Didn’t think he’d say that. I want to refuse and hope they forbid me from going. But … I still feel like I need to prove something to myself by making it through this week. I’m not sure what it is, and I pray that it’s worth it by the end of this mess.
I push my suitcase on my bed and unzip it, considering its contents. I don’t notice Captain Mathis looking over my shoulder until he speaks.
“First, you need to be wearing these.”
I jump.
He leans around me, his forearm brushing mine and his chest at my back. Warmth spirals through me. I ignore it, more concerned with him destroying my clothing. Grabbing my hiking boots, he drops them on the bed.
“I figured I’d change into them once we get there,” I rationalize.
“You don’t need two pairs of shoes for one night.”
I roll my eyes.
“One compete change of clothes, one small bathroom bag and rain gear,” he rattles off.
“Rain gear? Really? You Marines have some sort of sixth sense that tells you when it’s going to rain?”
“You don’t have to be a Marine to tap the weather icon on your phone. It’s common sense to check before you go camping,” he replies evenly, gaze on my clothing. “What is all this shit?” He picks up a lace blouse I had packed in case there’s some sort of formal affair.
I snatch it and push him back with my shoulder.
He moves away. “Bring extra socks and pajamas, if you want them. Anything else gets the axe.”
“Pajamas if you want them? So you sleep naked or something when camping?” I snap. Too late, I hear what I said. What’s worse, I’m already imagining him lying buck ass naked on his sleeping bag. If the rest of him is as nice as his thighs and biceps …
Stop it, Katya!
“We’ve got to be outside in five,” he says.
“Yes, sir!” I say sarcastically. Thank god he didn’t catch the naked comment.
He leaves me, and I shake my head. It takes me a few minutes, but I boil everything down to two changes of clothes, sandals, extra socks like he recommended, pajamas and one bathroom bag stuff to the gills.
His pack is half empty. I wonder if it’s because he was expecting me not to be prepared or if he always travels light. I don’t dwell on it too long but shove my clothes into it.
I emerge from the room dissatisfied, feeling as though I’m leaving behind everything I own. I guess, in a way, I am. That seems to be the purpose of camping: to get away from everyone and everything you’ve ever known.
I’ve never had that desire, though, so this is even more uncomfortable for me.
The skies are cloudy. There’s no sign of rain, and I silently pray that the weather report is wrong. It’s going to be rough enough without being miserable in the rain.
We all board a bus that takes us to another point in the forest where Petr and Mikael set up the obstacle course. The kids are excited, and their enthusiasm puts me at ease. I sit with them on the bus while the other adults all congregate towards the front. Watching them makes me feel even more out of place. They all get along so well. Even Captain Mathis, who is tense around me, is relaxing and smiling with the others.
People don’t relax around me. Can he be right? My delivery drives off people I’m trying to help? I’ve always been a bit socially awkward, more so after my mother died. My father and brothers became overprotective for a few years, and I barely left the house until I was in high school. Stuck in an elite, private school with kids who had grown up with one another, I really didn’t have any motivation to make friends. I didn’t have good friends until college, and I’m grateful that a bunch of them stuck around this area.
The others here are so much better adjusted than I am. I guess it helps that this is their scene, while mine is at home or in college or at the club.
I don’t look too long, and pay attention to the girls I’m sitting with, needing the distraction from our destination.
When we arrive, everyone piles out of the bus. On the other side of the three-mile course is where we’ll be camping. This afternoon is a familiarization round. Tomorrow, the kids will run the course, with the team with the best time winning.
The tree near the start of the course is where Petr and Mikael both carved their names and the date they finished building the course. They did everything together, from laying cement foundations where needed to chopping wood to testing and fortifying every rope, bridge, bar and anything else on the course. It took them a year to build the course. I used to come out with lunches and watch them, helping if and when they’d let me.
The world seems to fade as I gaze at the tree. The others are gathering around Brianna and Harris for a safety briefing. I go instead to the tree.
It’s weird to see Mikael’s name scratched into the bark. I didn’t approve of them doing it, preferring they didn’t harm some innocent tree. But now, I’m kind of glad they did. Seeing his sloppy handwriting is realer than a picture. He touched this, left a mark in a way only he could.
I’m hollow standing before the tree, almost able to imagine every detail about the day he carved his name here. Being in his forest is hard, but standing where he did two years before, looking at his name, is harder.
“Hey, Kitty-Khav.” Petr’s voice is soft. He stops and stands beside me, nudging me with his shoulder. “You doing okay?”