Seeing Danger (Sinclair and Raven #2)(67)

He nodded, glared at Nicholas, and then accompanied James from the room. No doubt to stand outside the door and listen.

She stood four feet away from her brother, looking at the man who should have been so important to her, and once had been, until she realized the person he truly was.

“What happened to your lip?” Lilly asked when the silence grew uncomfortable. She could not remember the last time she had conversed with Nicholas; usually he talked at her.

“Your dark lord pointed out the error of my ways.”

Lilly could do nothing to stop the small smile at his description of Devon. He would protect her, even when she did not want him to do so.

“I lay in my bed last night reliving our lives since our parents passed. Each memory that came and went shamed me. My treatment of you is unforgivable. I'm not sure when it started, or why—”

“They were not bad years, Nicholas, just lonely ones.” Lilly decided that only honesty would do now.

“Christ, you must loathe me.” His words were hoarse. “I could find no sleep last night thinking of what I had become and how I treated you. And then I wondered how to ask your forgiveness when I know if I were in your situation, I would never give it.”

Lilly thought she saw honesty, but many years of division lay between them.

“I am having trouble believing that you would change suddenly, Nicholas. Why now? It makes no sense.”

He ran a hand over his face.

“I don't know why now. Perhaps it took Sinclair to point out the error of my ways. Aunt Vi told me last night when I spoke with her about you that she was ashamed of the person I had become, but she was never brave enough to stand up to me.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I became a bully in the eyes of the two people I should love most.”

“Words, Nicholas,” Lilly whispered. “These are just words to me, which I struggle to believe.”

“When you were born I was instantly enamored. In fact, for the first year I would visit you and carry you everywhere, and I would beg your nurse to let me hold you.”

He took one of her hands in his and gripped it tight. Lilly thankfully had on her gloves, as she did not want to touch anyone but Devon. Perhaps one day soon she would try with someone else she cared for, but not yet, and especially not her brother.

“I loved you very much, but as the years passed I had forgotten that.”

“Perhaps I did not make it easy for you,” Lilly conceded. “I dressed as I did, and wore the glasses and behaved in that silly manner, so I would reach twenty-six unwed.”

The shock on his face was genuine.

“Did you really? Strange how I did not see what you were doing.”

“You saw nothing but yourself,” Lilly said, pulling her hand free and walking to the window. “And my fear was that you would force me to marry, when I had no wish to.”

“Will you tell me about yourself, Lilly? What you have become, and about the abduction? I have a feeling you know why you were taken.”

She did, because she wanted nothing to lie unsaid between them anymore. He could no longer hurt her; James and Devon would see to that. She was free to speak to this man as she wished.

“I had no idea. How have you kept this from me?” He looked shocked at her revelations. “You purchased this house in Temple Street alone?”

“You showed no interest in me, Nicholas. Therefore, it was easy for you to believe what you wished and not see what was really happening.”

“I can see that now, and am ashamed of what I have become. But that is my burden, not yours. Now I need you to tell me if it is your wish to marry Sinclair, as I will not consent to the match otherwise.”

“Yes, I wish it with all my heart.” Saying the words out loud confirmed what she thought. It was a step she was scared to take, but Lilly knew that being parted from Devon was not an option.

“Then I shall honor your wishes, sister,” he said, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “Will you return home with me now?”

Lilly shook her head. “I will be there later today. Please tell Aunt Vi I shall take my evening meal with her.”

“And I shall be there also.”

He rarely ate with them.

“Of course, if that is your wish.”

He looked at her for long seconds. Lilly wondered if it was the first time he had really seen her. Shaking his head, he bowed deeply and left the room.

Lilly heard the murmur of voices outside the door and then Devon opened and closed it behind him. She heard his footsteps as he moved to her side, where she still stood at the window, looking at the garden below.

“Are you all right, Lilly?”

“So much has happened.” Lilly faced him, let her palm rest on his chest. The strength in this man calmed her.

“You have been abducted. You healed with your hands.” Lilly closed her eyes as he cupped her cheek. “And I'm sure what just transpired between you and your brother was not comfortable.”

“I just don't know if I should believe him.”

“We will deal with it together, love.”

Lilly sighed as he kissed her softly. She then rested her cheek on his chest. It was a wonderful place to be, safe and secure in his arms. She had capitulated, she realized. She had given herself completely to this man.

“I love you, Devonshire Sinclair, and yes, I will marry you.”