See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(32)

Aberto looked at me, unsettled.

“Forehead, huh?” I grimaced, Aberto’s reaction enough to tell me exactly where the mark would be going.

“It’s a small mark.” Eleanor prompted, pointing to the delicate design on the page. The mark was minuscule, no bigger than my pinky nail. It was an intricate knot, one I’d seen carved into Celtic ruins.

“Permanent?” Not that it mattered. I was starting to look like Aberto, covered in endless tattoos. Long forgotten symbols, ancient runes, and Celtic knots decorated my skin. It was strange to think just a few years ago I didn’t have a single mark. Now it seemed with every new challenge I faced, I ended up with a new mark.

Aberto stood over me. I wasn’t sure when he’d gotten so close, but when I looked into his eyes I saw the answer to my question. This mark would stay with me forever.

“Well, let’s get to it then. I need to remember, and if this will help, then so be it,” I said, holding Aberto’s gaze.

“I will return.” Aberto brushed his fingers across my cheek before disappearing. Where in the heck did he keep his tattooing stuff? No really. Did he have another shack in another desert somewhere? Or did he have them stashed under the floorboards where I couldn’t find them?

“Izzy, how are you feeling?” Eleanor had moved to replace Aberto while my mind was distracted, standing close by my side.

“I’m surviving.” In truth, it was a struggle to take each breath, to not hide myself away. Although I’d gotten a hold on the darkness within me, my grief was still overpowering. I wanted so badly to be with Kennan, to see him one more time.

A warm hand clasped mine, pulling me from my memories. If anyone understood what I was feeling, it was Eleanor. She’d lost her daughter to the beginnings of this madness. “How do you endure the pain?” I asked, hoping she might have some miraculous cure for my sorrow.

“I’m still trying to figure that out. For now, I stay busy. I focus on what I can do to make the world safer so others don’t have to suffer as I have. That makes it more bearable.” Eleanor’s honesty was refreshing. She’d told me the truth where so many others would’ve just said “it will get better” or “time will heal.” She knew as well as I, it wouldn’t ever be better. The loss of Kennan was a permanent wound. I might learn to live with the pain someday, but it would never really be gone.

“I appreciate your honesty.”

“Izzy, may I ask you something?” Eleanor hesitated, seemingly unsure of whether she should even ask what was on her mind.

“Of course. What is it?”

“Do you love him?” Eleanor’s question took me off guard. I’d thought she was going to ask me about the darkness inside me, or perhaps the ceremony.

“I absolutely love Kennan. Why would you ask that?”

“Not him, my dear one, Aberto.” Eleanor paused for a beat before continuing, “I’ve seen the way the two of you move around one another. Every time I’ve been in a room with the both of you, I’ve noticed there is some sort of magnetic pull that draws you together.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” It was something that had been on my mind for longer than I cared to admit. Even when Kennan was alive, I’d felt the pull. I still wasn’t sure what it was that drew me to Aberto. Whether it was his soul inside of my own, or if it were some sort of trick fate had played to throw us together. “Regardless, I’m not ready to love someone like that again. Not yet.”

“Just promise me something,” Eleanor paused, squeezing my hand softly, “don’t forget to live. Kennan wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life in mourning for him. He knew the truth of what was to come, and he asked Aberto to watch over you. He knew what that meant.”

Eleanor’s words were like a punch to the gut. Kennan had asked Aberto to watch over me, I knew that, but when Eleanor said it, the context was completely different. The thought of being with someone else was unsettling. The agony I’d experienced when Kennan was ripped from my life wasn’t something I was ready to relive. For now, I would be my own person. Someday, maybe. But now—now I had more important things to think of than my love life.

“I’m not ready.” It was the truth, I wasn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either Aberto or me if I tried to pursue something. I’d just be trying to bury my grief under other feelings, and it would never really go away. I knew I had to come to terms with his death before I could ever truly move on.

Aberto reappeared in the room, carrying a satchel that contained the tattooing implements. It was as though he’d been lingering on the fringes, waiting for our conversation to end. He held me with his steady gaze for a moment before moving toward me, always assessing me with his ancient eyes.

“Are you prepared?” Aberto asked.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” I replied, prompting a confused look from Aberto. I loved that face. I could visibly see his mind working to translate the euphemism; it all played out on his face, culminating in a moment of understanding.

“Lay down, and we will begin.” Aberto set his bag down to pull out the stylus. I hadn’t been tattooed since I’d changed into whatever I’d become, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

“Will this even work?” I asked, lowering myself down on the fainting couch.