Secret Mayhem (Back Down Devil MC #4)(42)

“Oh yea?" Erik asked, taking offense. “Did he ever hurt you?”

“My entire life,” Shay said. He tried to keep his voice steady.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Blaine asked.

“Shay, what’s your point?” Miller asked. “We’re wasting time.”

Shay leaned forward and gulped down some whiskey. “Jon’s death is on my hands,” Shay confessed. “From the second those mechanics said something about the scar on the neck and the gold tooth… I knew.”

“What did you know?” Gaige asked.

“I did it,” Shay said. “I put that scar on his neck.”

“What the hell…,” Nate said.

Shay drank more whiskey. His heart and body was raging with guilt and anger and pain.

“I slit his throat,” Shay said. “But not good enough. Because I looked into his eyes and I hesitated. I couldn’t end his life when I had the chance. If I had, none of this would be happening. We’d be out there, drinking, f*cking, and living.”

“So that's why he is after you?" Gaige asked. “That’s okay, Shay. We aren't going to let some old enemy hurt one of our brothers."

“He’s not just some old enemy,” Shay said. “Caius is my brother.”

“Your brother?” Miller asked.

Shay nodded. “I know I should have told you all. But I didn't want to be pulled off the search for him. I need this kill. I had the chance to kill him and I couldn’t do it. And now he found me and is out for revenge."

“Revenge,” Blaine said, scoffing. “He's killed innocent people. The prospect. And almost took one of our own.”

“My f*cking face,” Erik said. He slowly rose. “You should have been in that car. Then it would have been over.”

“Erik, sit down,” Miller said.

“No!” Erik snapped. He started to walk around the table. Anyone who reached for him was smacked away. “No. You drove the car right into the compound. With a bomb in it. And you knew, somewhere in the back of your f*cking mind, that your brother, that Caius, was out there. Lurking. Waiting. And then… boom!”

Shay looked forward at the whiskey bottle. Erik was right next to him now. Shay knew he deserved whatever was going to happen. He shouldn’t have kept a secret from his club. That’s not how a MC is supposed to function. A club is only as strong as its members, and secrets can destroy it.

“I’m sorry,” Shay said. “But it’s my brother out there. I’m still coming to terms with it… and I want him dead…”

“We all want him dead,” Miller said. “We can’t lose our focus here.”

“I’m not losing my focus,” Erik said and laughed. “If I can’t get my hands on the man who did this, then why not his f*cking brother?”

Everyone seemed to jump up at once. But it was too late. Erik threw a fist that felt like a boulder hitting Shay’s face. The punch would have hurt on its own, but with fresh wounds from the fight with Nile, it was a whole other world of pain.

Shay fell from his chair to the floor. Erik was right there, on top of him. Erik grabbed his shirt so hard that he tore it. He came down with as many punches as he could before Nate and Griffin were able to pull him off Shay.

“Fuck you, man,” Erik yelled. “Fuck you for what you’ve done. All this…”

“Stop!” Miller yelled. He pointed to Erik. “You take a goddamn breath.” He pointed to Shay. “Get him the hell up.”

Nate helped Shay to his feet. Shay tasted fresh blood and he felt tired and beat up. Literally.

“Why hold back?” Miller asked.

“He’s my brother, Miller, but he’s not my family. I didn’t want to be excluded from this. And I don’t know much about him. I swear.”

“But you knew he was your brother. You have a history together. You could have provided some sort of insight into who we were looking for. But you said nothing.”

“I’m sorry,” Shay said. “I promise you, Miller. We’ll find Caius and kill him.”

“That I know,” Miller said. “Because Back Down Devil won't be taken down on my watch. Meeting is over. I want everyone to get out of here. Tomorrow we are going to meet with the leaders of Eight Under. There will be no violence. Is that f*cking understood?”

“Yes,” the group said.

“Then we will meet with Strokner and we will find Caius and kill him. I don’t care if he’s in a suit and tie. I don’t care if he rolls a f*cking dealership into us and car after car blows up. We are not backing down from this.”

“That’s why,” Shay said. “That’s why, Miller. I need to be there. I can help. I can lure…”

Miller placed a hand on Shay’s shoulder where his ripped shirt exposed his skin. “It’s time for you to stop talking, Shay.”

Shay sucked in a breath and one of Miller’s large fists hit him in the gut. It knocked the wind out of him and brought him to his knees.

Shay looked up at Miller and Miller shook his head.

Nothing was worse than the feeling of being alone. His own brother was out to kill him, and now he had betrayed the only family he could count on to protect him. The club was his life, but the look on Miller's face indicated that his time with them may be up. He slowly rose to his feet, kept his head down, and hurried to his room. At least he still had Ava.