Saxon(4)

“Which cousin?” he asks, looking confused and a little annoyed.

“Tenielle,” I say, like it should be obvious. I’m pretty sure his other cousins are too young for me, but then again he has a huge ass family so you never know.

Ryder stares at me for a moment then starts laughing.

In my face.

“What the f*ck is so funny?” I growl, losing my patience.

“Tee can handle herself, you don’t need to even run that shit by me,” he says, pride in his tone. “In fact, I might pay you to take her off my hands.”

“Very f*ckin’ funny,” I mutter. Everyone always talks about what a handful Tenielle is, and that may be true, but I know that there’s more to her than that. I’ve seen it lurking behind those dark wide eyes. Yes she’s strong, independent, and no-nonsense, but she’s also loyal, hilarious, and loving.

“I’ve seen you checking her out anyway,” Ryder continues. “Looking all wistful and shit.”

Am I that obvious? “I don’t know what it is about her… she’s different.”

Lexi and I had dated when we were younger, before she was friends with Tee. It was a young, puppy love, my first love I guess you could say. Back then I thought she was the love of my life, but I was wrong. I was young and didn’t really know any better. What I feel for Tee is on a whole different playing field, and I don’t even understand it.

I haven’t even had her yet.

But I’ve wanted her for that long.

He bobs his head. “You can say that again.”

He makes it sound like that isn’t necessarily the best thing.

I scrub my hand across my face as he starts to sing Destiny’s Child ‘Independent Woman’.

“Seriously?”

He grins. “She’s complicated, that one. But let me tell you, you get her, and you’re the luckiest man in the world. She’s loyal, she’s smart, and she’s badass. I don’t even have to mention how beautiful she is.”

No he didn’t. Wide dark brown eyes, thick dark hair, and that mouth…

Don’t even get me started on her body.

“I’ve had my eye on her for a while, even though I know she’s holding a grudge over my past with Lexi,” I say, cringing that I even had to bring it up.

“I’m sure you can get her to forgive you,” he says, lip twitching. “She’s a really understanding girl.”

Is that sarcasm I hear in his tone? It doesn’t matter. I know I want her. I’ve had years of seeing her, and the pull hasn’t gone away. There is something there, sizzling between us, and it doesn’t matter how much we try to ignore it.

Because it isn’t going anywhere.

And now—neither am I.

“She said she’s single.”

Ryder glances up from his phone. “She’s always single. She dates but doesn’t usually commit.”

“Why?” I ask, wanting to find out anything I can about her.

Ryder lifts his shoulder in a shrug. “She has high standards, she always has. She won’t settle.”

I like that.

In my line of work, easy gets boring real fast. We have women throwing themselves at us every day, and it’s lost its appeal. Not that I usually take them up on their offer. I’ve f*cked two groupies this whole year, and that was only because I was sick of being lonely and couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t even remember their faces now. All it amounted to was release without emotion, not something to brag about. After I cheated on Lexi I think I’ve been punishing myself. I haven’t allowed myself to get too close to another woman. Or am I just waiting for the right woman? Enough is enough. Lexi and I are friends, and I’m cool with that. It took some time, but I let her go. She’s happy, and she’s with who she’s meant to be with. Now it’s time for me to go after the same.

“I gotta get home to pack,” I say, standing up. “Another tour—can you believe it?”

“I know,” Ryder replies, smiling crookedly. “Morning Alliance made it international, who would have thought?”

“Me,” I reply smugly.

Ryder laughs. “I’ll see you and your ego in a few days.”

I say bye and head home.

A lot can happen in a few days.

*****

I’m not ashamed to admit that I rang Lexi and asked her what her and Tee were up to tonight. I thought I was being subtle about it, but Lexi called me out on it straight away, and I didn’t bother to deny it. What’s the point?

“Why do you want to know?” she asks, curiosity filling her tone.

“AJ,” I say, calling her by the name she used to go by when we were younger. “Why do you think?”

“Ha! I knew you had a thing for her. And don’t call me AJ,” she replies. “Ryder doesn’t like it.”

Why? Because that’s what I knew her as? I thought he was over the whole thing.

“I’m drawn to her, you know? I don’t want things to be weird though,” I tell her.

Lexi is quiet for a few seconds. “It’s not weird on my end. Tee deserves a good man, and I know you’ve made mistakes, but one mistake doesn’t define you for the rest of your life. I just wasn’t it for you. We were young Saxon. Young and stupid.”