Saxon(10)

“That’s my cousin you’re sexting right now,” I remind her, pursing my lips.

Golden eyes peep up at me. “I know. I just miss him so much.”

“When does he get back from tour again?” I ask her, not really caring when Ryder gets back, but one of his band mates instead.

“In a week,” she replies, her attention back on her phone. “Longest week of my life.”

I make a whipping sound causing her to giggle.

“Why didn’t you go with him?” I ask.

“I have work. I just handed in my notice though so next time I will definitely be going with them.”

“A kept woman hey?” I joke, wiggling my eyebrows.

She peeks at me and sighs. “So many women throw themselves at him on these tours. I know it’s a normal thing for him now, and I know he’d never cheat on me, but…”

“But what?” I ask, not liking the fact that she’s feeling a little unsure and questioning my cousin’s loyalty.

“In the back of my mind there is always doubt. You know? That I’m not good enough,” she tries to explain. “That he might find someone better.”

I think it over, tilting my head to the side and narrowing my eyes. “No. I don’t think I do know.”

Why doubt yourself? What does that do? It’s better to look at all your good qualities and focus on those. I’m my own biggest fan.

Her eyes widen. “You don’t ever feel like you’re not worthy or good enough for something or someone?” She laughs at my blank expression. “Ever?”

I shake my head. “I’m kind of awesome—and totally worthy. So are you.”

She stares at me in astonishment, blinking slowly. “I wish I had your confidence.”

Confidence.

Is that what I have? I was kind of thinking I had a huge ego instead, but I guess confidence works too.

“We should go out tonight,” I blurt out, changing the subject and trying to cheer her up. I think we could both use a girls’ night out. It’s been a while. And for some reason every time I try to take Lexi out Ryder always wants to tag along. He’s so clingy and needy sometimes!

She puts her phone down. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. A pub?” I suggest. “Ooooh I know, we should go to karaoke bar.”

She picks up her phone again.

“If you have to ask Ryder if you’re allowed to go out for karaoke, this friendship is over,” I plainly state.

Lexi rolls her eyes at me. “I’m not asking, I’m telling. You know he worries every time I go out with you.”

There is something very wrong with that statement.

“I’m his family! And I knew you before he did. In fact, he owes me everything he has for bringing you into his life,” I point out. “Be sure to pass that on to him.”

She pats me on my shoulder. “I’ll do that. Should we start getting ready then?”

“Yep, good idea.”

Luckily I keep clothes here.

“Just karaoke right? This isn’t going to turn into one of your all-night can’t-remember-anything-the-next-day type of nights?”

I think it over. “I can neither confirm nor deny anything.”

She sighs. “I’m wearing flats then. I can’t wear heels and keep up with you, dancing until six am.”

“Flats are for quitters!” I call out as she walks into her room.

Or pregnant women.

I search her cabinet until I find the alcohol.

“Bingo!” I say as I see a bottle of tequila. The expensive kind. I find two shot glasses, which happen to be ones we got in Greece as souvenirs, rinse them, and pour in the tequila. I then take a picture of them and forward it to Ryder, with the caption:

If you’re drunk it doesn’t count as cheating.

I start laughing my ass off when I hear Lexi’s phone ring from the other room. A few minutes later she starts yelling, “Tenielle Crawford I’m going to kill you!”

I tilt my head back and drink down the tequila.

Tonight is going to be a fun night.

*****

Daniel, at least I think that was his name, was a good enough looking guy. He tries to take my hand once more, but I retract it, my other hand reaching for Lexi. There is no way I’m letting her out of my sight tonight. It’s just the two of us out, and it’s not safe for us to be wandering around alone. Even tipsy as hell—I know that. So when Daniel, some guy I just met and had one dance with, keeps trying to get me alone by pulling me away from Lexi, that’s when I start to get angry. I try and handle him, because you see the thing I’ve found with some males, especially drunk ones, is that they don’t like rejection.

“Thanks for the dance, but I have to go now,” I tell him. “It’s ladies’ night!”

He frowns, not liking the idea, but too f*cking bad. I look at Lexi and then back at Daniel, too late to move out of the way as his lips come down on mine. He tastes like stale beer. I pull my hand out of Lexi’s and put all my strength into the swift kick I deliver to his nuts.

He drops.

Shaking my head, I turn to Lexi who is staring at me like I’ve grown a third head. “What? I tried being nice.”

She giggles. “Let’s go to a different club.”