Saviour (Saviour #1)(72)
I want to kill her, in that moment, I don't think I have ever felt so much dislike for another human being in my life. My jaw aches its clenched so tight. Sam is at my side and whispers in my ear “Let it go, she’s not worth it”
I look up at her and finally breathe, I turn back to Gabe, he's watching me, studying me, I think just for a change he's unsure of what I'm thinking. I have no idea what's going through his mind but I can almost feel his brain ticking as he looks at me, I feel bad that he is feeling so unsure, he’s told me that he loves me and I have said nothing. He kisses me as I say into his ear
“If you really loved me, you would get me another very large drink” he kisses my temple, takes my glass, and is gone. The instant he leaves my side she's there.
“Well this is a first” Everyone has moved off to the telly, the footies kicked off “Gabe thinks he’s in love does he?” she continues in an almost amused tone. Is she mocking him? Us, what we have? I can't resist, I can't hold back, I lean into the bench top with my hip, fold my arms across my chest and stand sideways on to the rest of the room so they can’t see or hear what I’m about to say. I look her up and down with what I hope is a complete look of contempt on my face and say very quietly “no thanks to you, you f*cking sick, twisted pervert , stay the f*ck away from us or so help me, I will f*ck up your life, the way you f*cked up his”
I am so angry, every emotion I have suppressed the last, however long, has surfaced and I just want to rip her head off, what she did goes against everything, that as a woman I stand for, we love, nurture and protect children, all children, whether our own flesh and blood or not, it's what we do, we do not rape and f*ck children!
The look on her face doesn't change, remaining cold, impassive, as she says, “Oh so he told you about our little bit of fun did he?” her lips almost curl into a smile as she speaks. She reminds me of a cat and I've never been a cat person.
“He didn't tell me anything, he can’t even bear to speak your name, I was just curious as to why he’ll do anything not to be around you, why you repulse him so much, why he pulled his arm away from your touch earlier, so Sam filled me in on your sordid little secret. She gave me all the details”
“Before you carry on, you should get your facts straight, he enjoyed it, he never said no, ever”
That's it; I swing round and get right in her face, barely holding on to my temper.
“How f*cking dare you try and justify what you did. You raped a child; you are a pervert, a pedophile, and a sex offender. If I had my way, you would be locked up. He was fifteen for f*cks sake. Just remember that I know. I know all about you. Your card is marked. Come anywhere near us, unnecessarily or uninvited and I will have you, now f*ck off out of my sight, I cannot bear to look at you”
She swallows, her eyes wander all over my face, she looks over my shoulder and says,
“Control your new little pet will you Gabriel” and turns and walks away from me.
I take a step forward, intending to grab her hair, so I can swing her around and smack her as hard as I can on the nose, but Gabe is quicker and pulls me back to him.
“Not here Lauren, this is Charlie’s home, he doesn’t know any of what went on, it would kill him if he ever found out”
I take a few steadying breaths, my nails are digging so hard into my palms; I wouldn't be surprised if I've drawn blood. He is right behind me, his arm comes around my chest and he passes me my drink, I take two big gulps.
“Breathe Lauren. Respirare bambino, respiro” he says into my ear, his breath is hot and sounds so sexy, normally, him talking Italian would have me panting and would be sending my pulse rate soaring, instead it does the complete opposite. I lean back into him and just the feeling of his body, his scent, his breath on me, makes me calm. How strange, usually having him so close would have my heart rate soaring but in a moment of stress and tension it changes, he's so attuned to me, always there with what I need, he's like a wonder drug. Fixes all ills. If only I could fix all of this for him, make it go away, like it never happened.
So now he knows that I know and I have to turn around and look at him, will it change things I wonder? Will he be different towards me? Will I be different towards him? I turn and look into his beautiful face, those beautiful eyes and nothing's changed, nothing at all but there is something I have to say. I put down my glass and take hold of his face in my hands, he smiles and pulls my hips into his.
“I love you Gabriel Wilde, I love you so much it scares me to death” I close my eyes and kiss him, slowly, deeply. With every rung out, strung out emotion I have in me, I kiss him. With my heart, my soul I kiss him and with my mouth and my tongue I kiss him.
We open our eyes slowly, it’s a struggle, as usual, I feel drugged. We focus our eyes, glancing all over each other’s faces.
“Fuck Lauren, I want to bury myself balls deep in you and forget about all of this”
“Come on then, let’s go” I wink at him as I speak.
He doesn’t hesitate, he grabs my hand and leads me down stairs to the bedroom we are staying in tonight, but we haven’t escaped unnoticed, we hear Zac calling in a sing song voice,
“We know where you’re going”
It makes us smile, but doesn’t slow us down. He shuts the door behind us and locks it. There is nothing romantic about this union; we both just desperately need sex, right now. Contact, reassurance. I just need to feel him and I think the feeling is mutual. He pushes me back on the bed and unzips one of my boots. We pull my jeans down my thighs, one leg in one leg out, I unbuckle his belt and he pulls his jeans down to his knees, he pulls my knickers to one side and slams into me.