Saviour (Saviour #1)(69)
No, I’ve got it wrong, he wouldn’t, she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t. I’m wrong, I’ve got to be wrong.
I can barely breathe, all these thoughts are banging around my brain in a matter of seconds and I feel unsteady on my feet. I gulp my wine as sound starts to penetrate my ears again and I hear her say.
“ ... Well okay but it’s good you could make it today, you know it's always good to see you Gabriel, we don’t see you enough, I was saying this to your Father just yesterday” she reaches out and puts her hand on his forearm but he moves it away as I look up at him.
Game over, I want to be sick. My blood runs cold.
“Lauren, we'll have a proper catch up in a bit, I need to start getting some food organised for my hungry family”
I manage a slight smile.
He very slowly raises his eyes from his arm where she touched him, up to meet mine again and as soon as he looks at me, my worst fears are absolutely confirmed. His own f*cking step mother. Unconsciously, I’m shaking my head at him and he knows that I know. I feel sick, I feel dizzy, I'm hot, I'm cold, and my legs are barely holding me up. My blood feels like it’s being drained from my body and replaced with something else, what, what is it running through my veins? I don’t know but it’s as cold as ice and burns like f*ck. My head is swimming; I feel like I might actually pass out. How could I have been so stupid? This is all just a game to him, how many others, how many more married women have there been? But that's not the issue, that's not what's made my stomach churn, it’s her and him together, his own stepmother. How could he do that, with her and knowing that he had, how could he let me walk in here, into the middle of all this, why did he bring me here? I want to leave, I want to run far, far away. He whispers from beside me “Lauren, please let me...”
“Don't” I say through gritted teeth “Just don't Gabe” a tear rolls down my cheek as I blink and I quickly brush it away before anyone notices. I’m hurt and I am so f*cking angry with him but mostly at myself, what a f*cking idiot I have been, I just want to get out of here, but I need to calm myself first. I turn and walk over to the fridge, I take out the bottle, intent on pouring myself a very large glass of my favorite wine, the wine that my oh so thoughtful 'Baby' has had delivered especially for me, I actually feel bile rise in my throat and I swallow to keep it down. My hot sweaty palms grip around the bottle. I take deep breaths and try again to clear my head, as I turn around Sam is beside me, she takes the bottle out of my hand and pours my drink, she passes my glass back to me and picks up her own and fills it. She looks at me and says “Lauren, it wasn't his fault”
What. She knows? Do they all know? Does Charlie know? What sort of f*cked upness have I walked into here? I frown at her. My thoughts are spinning out of control. “Let’s go upstairs and look at the view, we can talk up there”
Zac is standing with Gabe and they are both staring at us, Gabe looks devastated. Sam takes my hand and leads me up the stairs. There's a huge rumpus room up there and about ten kids of various ages all running around, playing pool, on the computer, or playing on a play station game; its chaos, the noise is deafening, like a school play yard. Sam shouts “hey kids, hope you’re all behaving” they all nod in affirmation and some verbally state that they are. Like a kid would fess up and say, noooo I’m being really bad, I almost giggle at my thoughts but it’s because of nerves, not because I’m particularly funny. We head out the doors to the balcony blocking out the noise as we close them. I take in a few deep breaths, it’s cold outside, but it feels good and my head starts to clear, “I knew, as soon as you looked at her, looking at him, that you knew something had gone on. If that at all makes sense?”
I nod saying only “God I need a smoke”
She pulls a box out of her pocket. “Shit yeah, I thought you would never mention it” she passes me a cigarette and pulls out one for herself and lights them. We both take a sip on our drinks and look out at the view. We stand in silence for a few minutes.
“He had just turned 15 when Jackie arrived on the scene, there had been no one in Charlie's life since Angela died, and then he brings her home. I had been with Zac about a year then and myself and Gabe were already the best of friends, we always told each other everything, Zac got a bit jealous sometimes but he was also glad that Gabe had someone to talk to. He was a bit of a handful, no Mum, and a workaholic Father; it made the boys very close and protective of each other. Anyway, Jackie started staying over, we soon realised that she was leading Charlie around by his dick; he was obsessed, so God help anyone who said anything bad about her. We all noticed a sudden change in Gabe; he went from being loud, mouthy, argumentative to, well, nothing, not a word. He suddenly threw himself into school work, staying behind for extra lessons, always in his room doing homework. The problem was, I wasn't buying it, something just didn’t sit right with me; it wasn't like he had turned over a new leaf or had this sudden epiphany, he was still a f*cker most of the time but when he was at home, he wasn't just quiet, he was closed off, distant. Anyway, Charlie and Jackie were away one weekend in Queensland and Me, Zac and Coop had been left in charge of Gabe and Stella. We had a few beers on the Saturday night and we let Gabe join us. I had noticed that from the second that woman left the house, he had become more like his old self, he was laughing and smiling, talking, any way a few beers in and we started talking about Jackie, none of us liked her so we were all bitching and suddenly Gabe bursts into tears. He was a big strong boy already. At fifteen, he looked eighteen, twenty and here he was sobbing like a baby in front of his brothers, in front of me, any way it all comes out, she had been coming into his room, at night, in the morning, whenever she got the chance, first off she was giving him a hand job, then blow jobs, then full on f*cking. He's a fifteen year old boy, full of hormones, he had no chance of not getting a hard on and she knew it. She had threatened to tell Charlie it was all him, that he had come on to her, attacked her even, if he said anything. The boys went apeshit, we all did, they wanted to fly up to the Gold Coast and confront her. But I calmed them down and convinced them to approach her once she was back, to let her know, we all knew what she had been up to, but we also needed to try and keep it from Charlie, we knew it would break his heart if he found out and none of us wanted that.”